Wow! That’s an over-reaction if ever I saw one Nannan2. Cleopanda was not out of line at all - she was just stating her opinion.
Of course vegetarians won’t eat meat, or prepare it for others. This means that their friends either adapt their recipe repertoire a bit, or don’t socialise with them in ways where food is concerned, excluding them from lunch dates and dinner party types of gatherings.
I know which I do, with very little extra effort.
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Code of cooking when having guests.
(213 Posts)I don't want to have a moany but it is getting up my nose. So I'm going to ask a question.
Where do I stand when preparing meals? I am a meat eater. Nowadays people are turning vegetarian or vegan.
Ok. In my small circle of lockdown friends, there is one vegetarian and the rest of us are meat eaters. Do I have to cook a separate vegetarian meal for that person/cook separate vegetarian meals for vegan and vegetarian guests, when the majority are meat eaters?
Ok, here's the thing. No matter being a meat eater - our family go to a person's house for a meal. She's vegetarian but cooks only vegetarian meals, no meat. One vegetarian vs a bunch of meat eater guests. (To be honest, the one veggie meal I had was awful because it had every vegetable in it that I don't like - because they taste bitter to me. But I ate it without saying a word.)
So where do I stand? Do I have to bow down to vegetarian eaters and produce a meal for them even though they won't cook meat when I go to them?
It does seem a bit unfair.
Years ago when I left home I gave up being a vegetarian with the viewpoint being that if I ate at someone's house - eat what they have prepared out of the goodness of their hearts (unless allergic to something) - I cannot be fussy and have them prepare something specially for me.
For me it is getting more and more difficult to cope with people stating their dietary preferences. I want to have people around for a meal but don't anymore because I want to cook something I feel like cooking - except in the case of allergies.
Please don't shoot this messenger down in flames! I respect everyone's dietary preferences, and reasons for doing so. I just wonder how they cope or deal with such situations.
Riggie
Thisbisba common "issue" - with vegetarians and vegans. Everyone is supposed to be considerate to their dietary choices but they do not reciprocate. Next time you entertain them just offer them the side dishes everyone else has plus something ready made from the supermarket that you can microwave.
I remember dh and I being invited to a "bring something for sharing" afternoon tea where the instructions were basically vegan and gluten free. We just bought something. It was a pretty soulless event with lots of flapjacks (whichbIndon't like) I cant have soya milk so I didn't even get a cuppa!! We didnt stay long!
This is a very sweeping statement - you must know some very odd people ?
As a Vegetarian/Vegan, anyone invited to eat with us is always happy to eat what we eat, all plant based and healthy, which by the way means tasty (am aware that some folk still believe plant-based food is boring and tasteless)... One really doesn't have to take aeons prepping for us, cos there are now an abundance of lovely ready-made 'goodees' in all supermarkets.
Surely we only invite those we are fond of to 'break bread' with us and in turn those that are fond of us will do likewise and cater respectfully.
Many of us who are Veg/Vegan choose to be so because we are appalled and saddened by the treatment of animals and want to be no part of that 'factory farm' process (much evidence showing inhumane treatment of animals in the food chain)...
Hence be kind to each other and respect why folk are Veg/Vegan... Finally aeons of plant-based products are out there which are hard to tell from meats/fish/dairy etc. They are amazing and oft full of flavour... Richmond Vegan Sausages are a super stand-by for Sausage & Mash, which appears to be quite a 'Hip' meal at the moment :-)
Addendum: Animal protein daily is not a healthy choice, meat is not what it once was... most animals do not live a good life in the right environment necessary for their welfare, today's intensive 'farming' practice is not farming...be it cows housed in sheds, pigs in sowing pens, chickens in cages etc.
Finally too many antibiotics/drugs are essential in keep intensively raised animals at a state of well-ness thus enabling them to be 'good-enough' for human consumption. Indirectly we absorb those antibiotics/drugs and oft other drugs when consuming todays meats/fish/eggs etc. which is hugely concerning hence much research is ongoing, although publication is rarely looked at by the consumer.
Thisbisba common "issue" - with vegetarians and vegans. Everyone is supposed to be considerate to their dietary choices but they do not reciprocate. Next time you entertain them just offer them the side dishes everyone else has plus something ready made from the supermarket that you can microwave.
I remember dh and I being invited to a "bring something for sharing" afternoon tea where the instructions were basically vegan and gluten free. We just bought something. It was a pretty soulless event with lots of flapjacks (whichbIndon't like) I cant have soya milk so I didn't even get a cuppa!! We didnt stay long!
I'm taking no prisoners today! If you just want to be nasty, go to mumsnet! (They seem to relish that on there)!
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*buy
Cook meal as usual for the majority and then buy a veggie option for vegetarian friend, problem solved and everybody happy.
Vegetarianism and possibly veganism are the future.
Embrace the change. Respect your friends choices.
Either cater for choices or don’t invite them.
You can’t possible expect a vegetarian to eat a meat meal, surely?
Or do you think vegetarianism and veganism are simply whims?
I fully understand your point of view, but and it is a big but...
...if you want to still be able to invite your vegetarian and vegan friends to a meal, then I am afraid you will have to defer to their lifestyle.
I assume you would not serve pork if they were observant Jews or Muslims, would you?
Perfect two or three Indian dishes that can be served and eaten with or without meat. Cook the meat seperately for the benefit of those of your guests and yourself who do eat meat and let the guests help themselves to whatever of the dishes they wish.
If you don't want to do this, state simply that you are no longer inviting them for meals, as their and your tastes are too divergent, and you do not feel your vegetarian cooking is worth eating. From then on, invite them for coffee and sandwiches or cake.
How about cooking what would be considered a 'side dish' with veggies, rice etc in, but do it in a larger amount and then add a roast or something that meat eaters can then add slices of to their 'side dish',- while the veggies just eat more of the said 'side- dish' recipe- (maybe a bit like a veggie risotto, or along those lines?) Or just ask them to bring along a veggie dish, just say you're not very inventive at vegetarian recipes or some such and ask if they'd mind by bringing their 'best' recipe along?I know what you mean though- it doesn't seem fair for them to expect to be specially catered for, yet not affording us meat eaters the same courtesy- they don't have to 'handle meat' at all, theres some lovely stuff ready prepped in supermarkets these days that you can just shove in oven that they could buy for meat eating guests?But also you can just as easy maybe but a 'nut roast' or other veggie delight ready prepared to do same with perhaps? ?
This lady chef Lori Quaye from Croydon has put a few veggie and vegan recipes that only cost £1:00 or under on the internet. Google her. I made the vegan (kidney bean and sweet potato) pie for myself. My friend arrived and said she could share with me. It has become our favourite meal. Neither of us are veggie. I add various things to go with it like peppers. It’s easy to make and goes a long way. It’s cheap but doesn’t look it and better still can be made the day before.
If one guest is a vegetarian, we would probably have a vegetarian meal for everyone. With close family, maybe not. Because surface manners are less important with them though in a deeper way I do more of course. My step brother in law, always a vegetarian is now a vegan. But he didn’t say and I had the wrong food which annoyed me but it is a spiritual matter with him and I would always try to give him something he could eat and not distress him by eating meat in front of him. I try to ask people if there are things they eat or don’t eat. I have many medical reasons why I can’t eat lots of things myself.
As a long-term vegetarian I don't want people who are kind enough to invite me for a meal to go to unnecessary trouble. If they were out-and-out "only meat" people I'd probably check what I could bring to make things easier. I actually don't know anyone who has meat all the time now though. Or even fish for that matter. What I don't do is insist on only organic dairy (which is how I buy dairy at home) because I realise this is not my home and a cheesy dish created with love is ok.
Most of my friends don't "do" formal dining anymore but if we had (say) a big birthday or other celebration we may want to push the boat out a bit and for some this may mean meat.
Usually a friend will cook something meaty (if required) and bring it as you might bring wine, chocolates or a treat if some sort. Mostly this is unnecessary as I like to make lots of different dishes so there is normally something for everyone.
I do occasionally cook meat. I try to avoid it because frankly the smell of it cooking makes me feel sick - I loathe barbecues for this reason - but if my mother-in-law is looking forward to a roast at Christmas I'll do it.
Eating together involves give and take. My vegan daughter forgives me if I accidentally loosen the batter for her pudding with milk instead of the oat milk next to it in the fridge. I have eaten cheese without knowing what the rennet is (admittedly this is not nice) at a friend's house and my meat-eating friends are usually happy to skip meat for one day.
Sometimes I'll serve prosciutto or smoked salmon alongside vegetarian treats but at least I get to buy organic meats or wild salmon if I'm doing the shopping.
Not all vegetarians are as intractable as some people above. It's hard for us too - but true friends are rare, and their company is precious. This pandemic has surely taught us that.
I am vegetarian and I would be very happy for you to give me a frozen supermarket nut roast or mushroom wellington that you can just whip out of your freezer and heat in the oven along with your main course for all the meat eaters. Some of the supermarkets have really tasty vegan and vegetarian ready meals now.
I would be even more delighted if you prepared something vegetarian yourself, but I would not expect you to put yourself out.
Cook for the meat-eaters and then get one of those ready-made veggie meals that just need heating through. I'm vegan but I always just take my own food. I don't expect people to make concessions for me.
Vegetarian food can be delicious so you could use this to show off your cooking skills. Do you take it in turn, if so then 'your turn' shouldn't come around very often. i have a vegetarian friend and I usually cook a 'one pot' that we can all enjoy.
I think you are ignorant of the huge variety of vegan and vegetarian foods and perfectly good meat substitutes that are available now. Even meat eaters often enjoy these, or can't even tell the difference. For instance, Quorn mince cooked in a spag bol or a chilli or tacos etc is very good and hardly distinguishable from meat. Vegetarians and vegans aren't stuck with eating nothing but salads these days. While a meat eater can eat lovely veggie meals, it doesn't work the other way, and most vegetarians/vegans (myself included) would not want to handle or cook meat at all and it's not fair to expect it. Buy a good veggie cookbook or look online for recipes and be adventurous. Cook a lovely meal for everyone without meat!
Sorry veggies am going to tread on a lot of toes here, but I have never yet tasted a home cooked veggie dish that is tasty enough, sometimes I reflect that veggies and vegans are really masking they are not into food. Perhaps Indian good cooks can pull it off, why not just buy a dish from one of them? As my daughter has got the latest Ottolenghi (sp) book am prepared to be amazed. I do like all the range of vegetables too, and am fortunate to have eaten all over the world. Channa dhal if seasoned enough may suffice?
If people are our guests, we provide what they would relish. If they live with us, they would have to pitch in. And if I go somewhere I expect to be offered something I am likely to like, but I would not expect a vegetarian (who may be revolted by dead animals!) to cook meat for me just because I am a carnivore!
Is it such a big deal to very occasionally cook a vegetarian/vegan meal? Oh and your comment about her not cooking meat shows that you have no understanding of why someone is veggie/vegan. I could not cook meat/fish for someone....it would really upset me.
wanting to say something as well even though most have already made such fabulous comments.
I'm a vegetarian for 25 years now.
While at the beginning I would cook meat for my family when visiting, I stopped that a long time ago as now there a so many great alternatives that nobody really minds anymore eating my vegetarian meals.
When I go visit others, I don't expect them to make a meat free dish or an alternative for me.
But I do expect that there is something that I can eat.
I am fine with just tatties and some veg or salad.
But it would be difficult if you made a stew as there would be nothing not coated in meat juices.
If you don't want to make an effort, just heat up a veggie quiche for your friend, or even serve it cold, or have a veggie ready microwave meal or somthing. You don't really have to "work" to provide that.
What confused me a bit was, that you stated that you used to be vegetarian but would eat meat when it was served to you when visiting others. Then you were not a vegetarian, you just choose to eat no meat when you cooked for yourself - great difference. But surely that would mean that you know how to cook vegetarian and would have more sympathy for your friend.
Just to add to everyones knowledge a few facts
If someone follows a vegetarian/vegan diet, their body is no longer used to some animal fat/proteins. If they would eat it, they would become very sick.
Be aware if you cook for a vegetarian that you do not accidently use animal products often hidden in ingrediances just as lard (on roast potatoes for example) or animal stock cubes (often used for soup) or gravy granules.
As a vegetarian I really don't want to be fussed over when eating at a friends, it's really embarrasing. I don't mind if someone does not want to cook vegetarian but let me know beforehand, never had an issue to bring my own meal with me.
I just do not understand why anyone can think that eating a meal that doesn't include meat is weird.
Baked potataoes with cheese, macaroni cheese, cauiliflower cheese were all part of my mother's main meal repertoire when I was a child and the tomato and cheese risotto we are having for lunch today was added to her repertoire in the mid 1950s. British cokery,ike every other cuisine, has included meals that do not include meat or fish.
Personally with the huge range of wonderful foods now available to us, the last thing I want to do is cut any large sector out, either by not eating meat or fish, or by not considering a meal a meal without a large lump of meat on my plate.
To be honest cooking a vege version is really not difficult! And it sounds like gge vege food you have been given might have been a bit unimaginative
I love vegetarian meals and often cook recipes by Ottolenghi who does the most fantastic flavours, with a middle eastern twist. The only problem is... I often can't get hold of the ingredients. I love vegetables and salads too, of any kind.
I could easily eat a no meat meal for, say, half the week. But can't give up some meats for good because I love them too much!
Tanjamaltija All those dishes are right up my street. I cooked a delicous stuffed conchiglione pasta dish last week (the huge pasta shells) with spinach ricotta etc.
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