Did your Mum ever say she loved you?

My mum never said it to me but did to my brothers but she didn’t want me. My dad did all the time. I never said it to my lads but when my oldest son was going to Iraq I said it to him then. It took my son to go war for me to say it. But since that day Ive said to them both every time they visit or on the phone etc. Also tell my grandkids I love them to the moon and back. I get all the hugs and love you back off them all. I don’t want any of mine to say after I’ve gone my mum never said I love you. Because mine know I do.

Don't remember her saying it, except in a 'just as well we love you' way when disappointed in something I'd done

No, she never did. If she had, I would have wondered why she was lying.

I spent most of my childhood keeping quiet and trying not to be noticed so I wouldn't get bashed.

I vowed daily that if I ever had children I wouldn't treat them like she treated us and I never did.

It wasn't until I was in my early 40s that I fully accepted that she had grown up to be such an appalling person because she had been an unloved child.

By then I hadn't seen her for 20 years and never took our son to see her; I couldn't have trusted her alone with him even for a moment.

I wonder how many generations on her side of the family had lived through such miserable lives.

My mum never did until she heard me telling my children that I loved them at the end of phone calls. She then started to say 'love you' at end of phone calls to me too. I think it was a generational thing, as I have no recollection of hearing friends parents tell them they loved them either. Don't remember hugs as a child either; but I think it is only in the past 20 to 30 years that hugging people has become common place.

My parents never told me they loved me. I actually remember the last time my mother kissed me....I was eight. I made sure my children knew I loved them from the moment they were born.

No. and don't remember her ever cuddling me. The only physical contact I had with her is when she sat me on her knee ( age 4 ) and taught me to read. Very clever, as that was all I ever did throughout my childhood, so no need to play with me.

No. Never. Nor any hugs or any encouragement about anything at all. My parents are cold fish. Always interested in other people/acquaintances than me and my family. As a consequence I hate all this hugging that goes on nowadays. One of my sister in laws is Dutch and they do 3 cheek kisses on meeting. I only recently found the courage to say No, I did not feel comfortable. There are five in their family and, frankly, it was ridiculous. I'm not a cold person, I love my children and they never had any lack of affection when they were growing up. They all ring me daily and we all know we will support each other, come what may. I would like to say that reading of other experiences has made me realise I wasn't alone.

No my mother never did, neither did she say I looked nice on my wedding day, but there again she was a toxic person who as an adult I was estranged from for 40 years
But I always told my children and grandchildren how much I love them and that I’m proud of them

I don't recall the L word ever being used when I was young (before all those pop songs made it something used all the time !) yet I have always felt totally loved so words aren't always necessary. You just know that you are loved.

How much I agree with you Calendargirl actions and kindness show your family and friends how much they mean to you.
My teenage grandsons would be embarrassed if i said love you to them, they know I do, always there for them.

I have no recollection whatsoever of my mum EVER telling me that she loved me. I've no idea if she ever said it to my two younger sisters and younger brother either - not something that we've ever discussed.

However - maybe because of her - I make sure that I tell my children that I love them at the end of every phone call and/or visit. Same with my grandchildren.

I want them ALL to have the reassurance that they ARE loved - even on the occasions when they drive me potty!

Nope, but she did tell my husband that she loved me, just didn’t tell me, we were opposites in quite a lot of ways and clashed quite a bit which did get better when I left home but I always felt I couldn’t do anything right, although I got the best exam results in the family and other things but always knew my brother, the 2nd child ( of 4) was always her favourite, I am the eldest, we never got the chance to resolve our issues as she died in her early 60’s in ridiculous circumstances that should never have happened which just exacerbated the unresolved issues. I didn’t have children through choice, in fact none of us have but I would say to anyone tell your children you love them and are proud of them , even the ones who are not your favourite, a little love and praise goes a long way

Neither my mum or dad ever said they loved me but I knew I was loved especially by my dad. It was only after my DM had a stroke and became physically disabled she started to say she loved me, but she always knew I believed she loved my sister much more than me so I didn’t really take much notice. On her deathbed when she could hardly talk she suddenly turned to me and told me she really did love me with such meaning I really believed her, it was lovely and heartfelt. The one and only time I remember my Dad telling me he loved me was again a few days before he passed away he seemed like he was in a coma but as I kissed him and told him I loved him (something he knew but I’d never said to him) he suddenly told me he loved me too, I shocked he spoke but comforted by what he said too. I know neither of them were brought up in that way to say I love you. I’ve brought my DS up knowing by telling him I love him very very much and he has brought my DGS up exactly the same way.

My mum never did, but I do to my sons & GC & they have told me they love it & makes them feel cared for x

My mum didn’t… and it absolutely crucified me. She never told me she was proud of me either, but I don’t think her Mum had ever said it to her at all. I can understand it so made a vow on the day my daughter was born that I would tell her every day. And I have

My Mum never told me she loved me until the day she died. We knew we were loved but the word love was never used. I’ve always told my daughter and even more so with my granddaughter.

I don't ever remember my Mum giving me any affection or saying this, she never praised me either growing up. On the other hand my Dad was the opposite so I did get praise and affection from him but they split up up when I was 16. Mum is not a hugger, occasionally I have hugged her (pre pandemic) and it's seemed awkward. Dad is sadly in care now and although I haven't visited him much lately as he is not local to me, I always tell him I love him when we FaceTime in his care home every week.

No, not once - can't ever remember being hugged either. My parents were married for 12 years before they had me, having been told that they'd probably never have children. I think in that time, my mother had built up this image in her head of the "perfect child", and quickly realised that I was never going to be that, so I was quite a disappointment to me. She couldn't mould me into what she wanted me to be.

M0nica

I think it was that generation. Mine were generally emotionally unexpressive, but I knew that they loved us and that whatever happened to me in life, my psrents would always be there for me.

Yes, I told my children and grandchildren that I love them but I often express my love through other phrases, telling all of them how proud I am of them. I also tell my DGC (2 of them, 1 of each) thay they are my favourite DGD/DGS and they laugh and say but Grandma, I am your only DGD/DGS.

All of this for me too.
Sometimes my 3 year old grandson and I play the "who loves William" game. He loves this and happily reels off the names of his huge family (both sides).
I think it's really important for him to realise just how many people love him to absolute bits. ?

Always even though she left us when I was 14 ! Lived with dad but reconnected with her! I miss her dreadfully and I always tell my daughter I love her when we speak on the phone !

I can’t remember my parents ever saying they loved me but I know they did, their kindness and care proved that. Unfortunately I didn’t say it them either until it was to late ?. I tell my DC and DGC I love them all the time and they reciprocate.

no never she always never hugged me or praised me but always took delight in blaming me for everything

My mother never said it to me (or hugged me for that matter) and her mother likewise to her. However that all stopped with me and my boy who I hug and tell him I love him and he’s now 25.

My heart is breaking for alot of you, truely. I was so lucky my parents always told all 7 of up that they loved us and even today at 62 years I feel happy to tell my brother and sisters the same, my children and grandchildren. Hugs are always a must too.

No