What does this phrase mean to you

PinkCosmos that was my first thought when I read the question. My husband did this until I found out?now he has no marriage & no bit on the side . You can’t always” have your cake & eat it “??

To me I think it means wanting two different things.

Aldom

I've only known the phrase as 'you can't have your cake and eat it' or the other version 'You can't have the cake and the ha' penny '.
Both were meant to imply that a choice had to be made. Both versions used by my mother!

I love that one about the ha'penny!

Granniesunite

It means you'll not compromise. It's your way or not at all.

No, it means that when it is a choice of two things that are incompatible, you just have to choose one and give up the other. Either A or B or neither, but the person described, who wants both, will lose both.

In Aesop's fables is a story of a dog that is carrying a stolen piece of meat looks down as it is walking beside or crossing a stream and sees its own reflection in the water. Taking that for another dog carrying something better, it opens its mouth to attack the "other" dog and in doing so drops what it was carrying.

I didn't understand that saying properly until I heard it the other way round i.e. You can't eat your cake and have it. Before that I used to think, "Cheek! If I've got cake, no one's going to stop me eating it!"

In other words your daughter should learn to ‘take the rough with the smooth’! ?

Mmm. Another mother's wisdom. My mother would say, "if you want your cake and eat it you have to keep making the cakes." Which we understood to mean - it may not sound possible but if you want it badly enough you need to work hard to get it.

It means you'll not compromise. It's your way or not at all.

I think the key point of eating your cake and having it is that the alternatives are contradictory and mutually exclusive but you want the advantages of both without the downsides.

To be it means you want the best of both worlds.

To me it is using some resources to obtain a benefit, enjoying the benefit, but wanting to still have the resources you had to use to obtain it. Sharon’s definition was spot-on, even if borrowed

Best of both worlds in any given situation!

Callistemon

^but it is having your bread buttered on both sides.^

So, if you dropped it, it would be bound to land buttered side down

Funny how this term has been used to describe women having families and careers but never men.

Yes, but I think it was meant to be a joke, albeit a misandrist one, oh dear.

And also buttered side up, so you would not have lost all the butter.

Jess20

It's a weird saying, why bother to have a cake if you can't eat it?

It makes more sense the other way round, and with "still" added - "You can't eat your cake and still have it."

Whatdayisit

I didn't mean on this thread i meant in real life Callistemon - it is often used in that way in real life. I said the same as what you had already replied in my head when i read it - i wasn't having a pop.

No, I know you weren't - I'm with you, not against you!

Traditionally women have been expected to 'bow out' to accommodate mens wants and needs. My mum always had the smallest chop/piece of fish etc or gave up going to W.I. because dad was incapable of making his and our dinners on a Thursday and we as kids were fed up of having tea at 4pm then not allowed any supper cos he was a useless dollop.but mum said he had a very stressful job (she was a nurse, right!) And workd very hard. We did without any holidays/car/anything that everyone else had in the swinging60/70s because we owned our home.... Did without so they could leave us a whopping 250k on death.big wow! I'd rather have enjoyed my childhood and youth....but dad was the boss cos he earned the most!

I didn't mean on this thread i meant in real life Callistemon - it is often used in that way in real life. I said the same as what you had already replied in my head when i read it - i wasn't having a pop.

It means you want to have it (whatever that may be) both ways, nothing more, nothing less, surely?

For me it means the best of both worlds

When you want something that means you have to forfeit something else in order to have it.however you don't see why you cannot have that "something" and not have to forfeit? You basically want to cheat 'the system' not prepared to make any sacrifices ,just want want want thinking you shouldn't have to play by the rules others are bound by, often to the detriment of others so you can gain.

My ex husband "wanted his cake and to eat it too." He had me at home, but also secretly dated other women too. I left so he couldn't have both....think that's what it means

but it is having your bread buttered on both sides.

So, if you dropped it, it would be bound to land buttered side down

Funny how this term has been used to describe women having families and careers but never men.

Yes, but I think it was meant to be a joke, albeit a misandrist one, oh dear.

What other interpretation could you get from it?its straight forward enough.?

Yes Sharon 103 is right- you can't have it both ways.my late mam said it often when we were growing up!

Granmarderby10

Ooh no no no Callistemon not at all like a man, HE would most likely hire a nanny and a cleaner and continue as before

What is the word for what he would have to still be the pilot ? Is it a wife? And probably a mistress!

I think Polomintif your daughter said she liked him sharing the expenses of living together but didn't want him there all the time that would be having her cake and eating it!

Funny how this term has been used to describe women having families and careers but never men.