Should I tell my friends ?

Thank you all for your good wishes.

The 8 friends we have invited have never met the friends where I live now. Sadly our grandsons are with their mother and our son and partner are away on holiday which they booked sometime ago, however we are taking them out where they live a week later.

We make a point of inviting our solo friends to join us, such as on Xmas Day our young widow friend who we knew was on her own came round for champagne and stollen cake, together with our new neighbours on our front lawn.

We realise one day this could be us so it is important to share our happiness.

Team tell them

Chardy

Should it be 'How do I drop this into the conversation?' so friends are informed but sensitively?

Yes I think so.

Congratulations for October NanaKate enjoy your weekend

^DHs grandpa died shortly before their golden wedding, and grandma told us we were the only people who had given her a gift and card!
She thanked us profoundly.^

That is so touching Grammaretto

I hope you have a wonderful day with your family and friends.

When I was divorcing and my children were very young. I was left out from Christmas or special celebrations my family and some friends thought I wouldn’t be interested in socialising.

How wrong they were I felt so hurt being left out but that’s me I am naturally quite a sensitive person.

I would invite my two widowed friend's they are the same friends as always but on their own. Even if they decline and I know one would it’s just nice to be invited.

One of the things I hated most was being treated differently because I as no longer part of a couple. An alien species.

I knew people still got married, had anniversaries etc. No need to hide it from me.

Of course I’m assuming that you haven’t excluded your widowed friends just because, as one friend said to me, we unbalance the table??

No reason why you should have to conceal the reason for your holiday; real friends will be happy for you.

Equally, no need to trumpet it to all and sundry as a neighbour of mine does; previously she and her husband celebrated their special birthdays by a nationwide tour, informing friends and family well in advance of their arrival so that 'surprise' parties were organised throughout the land. This year they are doing the same to celebrate their Golden wedding, but strangely, many people seem to be away this time.

If you tell a lie, what will you do when they inevitably find out the truth ? I lost my husband four years ago, but the loss hasn’t affected my ability to be happy for other couples when they celebrate milestones and I would hate to think widowhood was the only thing excluding me from social events.

MawBe

In fact thinking about it, it could be so hurtful to your widowed friends to feel they were being treated differently, which I am sure is far from the case. Just be happy

I agree with MawBe don't treat your widowed friends any differently, they will be happy for you I'm sure.
Enjoy your Golden Wedding celebrations NanKate and congratulations.

P.S.

I would say that to everyone, couple and widows.

It’s difficult.

If you say that we are going away, it’s our Golden Wedding anniversary, people might feel obliged to give you a card or gift.

If you just say you are away, they might wonder afterwards why you didn’t say it was a special occasion.

I would probably say, “ We will be away the first week in October, it will be our anniversary whilst we are there”, and leave it at that.

Isn't this exactly what we were talking about at length on another recent thread? Treating widows differently. Please don't get into a situation where you tell some people and not others based on their marital status. A friend will be pleased that you are celebrating a special anniversary.

Should it be 'How do I drop this into the conversation?' so friends are informed but sensitively?

Come to think of it, apart from my in-laws, we weren't invited to a wedding anniversary party.

As MawB says - who would be offended?

DH's grandpa died shortly before their golden wedding and grandma told us we were the only people who had given her a gift and card! She thanked us profoundly.

Unless it is asked outright I m not sure I would. unless you think it would be more damaging to hear it second hand
If you decide to say anything why not say you’re having a weekend away with a few people who were involved in your wedding that way they won’t hear it on the grapevine but won’t be hurt as they weren’t involved with you then (presuming from your post they weren’t)

In fact thinking about it, it could be so hurtful to your widowed friends to feel they were being treated differently, which I am sure is far from the case. Just be happy

I second MawBe's comments. Your real friends will be happy for you.
Have a lovely time.

Personally I wouldn't unless the friends are part of the original party. It is your special day.

We always treated our anniversaries as very personal events and reserved big parties for birthdays.
We spent our golden wedding in Cornwall, just the two of us, where we had been for our honeymoon and had never been to since. It was really lovely and as it turned out our final long train trip together.

Have a dinner party and invite whom you like - new friends, single and widowed friends, adult children.

I think if you didn’t tell them and they found out later they may be very hurt.
I was widowed at 48 and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to keep things from me for fear of upsetting me.

Why should you lie?
We should have had our Golden Wedding last summer - I still had a family lunch to celebrate the good times and have had two invitations to Golden Wedding parties since DH died. I do not let my loss sour me or begrudge others their happiness. I am sure your friends will not (well apart from the one you mention and she is IMO being unfair)
Good friends do not begrudge others their happiness.
Congratulations- I hope you have a lovely time! ?