Bedtime bad behaviour

Ridiculously early bed time. Clearly they're not tired. It's obvious they are old enough for a 7 - 7.30 bed time.

My grandchildren have always had loads of energy left at that time, having their afternoon snack. They must be going to bed almost as soon as they get in from school. I would tell their parents that when they're with you they can eat later and go to bed later because it fits better with your routine. Make their active day longer and more tiring.

This is what it’s all about!

So just set a routine when you have them at their home
As others have said the bedtime routine starts way too early
Tea at 5
Then a long Bath time and some quit play or appropriate TV for an hour
Snack
Stories
Bed for 7.30
They’re being put to bed in the middle of the day sorry hit it’s a ridiculous routine

Teacheranne

I’m afraid I was an awful aunt when I had my niece and nephew for sleepovers! Bed time was very late, after playing board games we got out blankets, spread them on the floor and watched a film that the children chose, eating popcorn or other treats. Bedtime was very late and they were allowed to stay in bed as long as they wanted in the morning playing on iPads so that I did not have to get up!

I have to say they loved coming to stay with me in the school holidays!

This was very like time with my grandparents!

I was allowed to stay up late and I'd curl up on the sofa with my Nan and watch TV, read or we'd play games.
In the summer I'd "camp" with my Grandfather in the garden!

I could stay in bed late in the morning and have milky tea and toast "in bed"!!
I loved staying with them....

I think a health visitor would be mentally raising a red flag if they were told the children were going to bed at 5pm. Also the pantomime to get them to settle. Parenting classes would sort out this issue and establish a routine which enabled the children to have a 7pm bedtime and the parents would have some time together in the evening. This might be too delicate an issue for the grandparents to raise but there is an ideal opportunity to do some research to find a book dealing with bedtimes, send for two copies , keep one , give the parents the other and suggest that you each have a similar routine when caring overnight. The parents are probably exhausted having backed themselves into a corner with this inappropriate bedtime routine.
I remember as an only child having a 7.30 bedtime when I was about seven years old and it was still daylight in the summer. I could hear the neighbours children still playing outside. there were five children in that house and some were younger than me. It seemed very unfair. My own children also went to bed at 7,30 until they were about 8 years old.
This sounds to me as if the parents are struggling and have to a certain extent, lost control. They don't sound as if they are enjoying their parenting role.

Their bedtime seems halfway through the day to me! They're just not tired are they? Also, as well as letting them stay up later, maybe make sure they have no sugary pudding with their supper so they don't get hyper.

They are obviously not tired. When any of my GC or GGC stay it’s “ my house, my rules”. Wear them out. Bath them. Story time. Hopefully sleep. Having said that I am here expecting 4 of them. Ask me again next week!

I agree with all comments that the GC’s bedtimes are far too early. If the OP finds it hard to persuade the parents that they need to change the bedtime routine, maybe she could show them all the helpful comments on here. Good luck to you and your GC.

Bedtime is way too early!! Plus they are going to be wide awake at the crack of dawn. And difficult to go to sleep if its still light outside so I'd do a go to bed time and then they can read (or look at) books quietly for a while before lights out.

We always did a morning bath with our ds. Even as a baby he was sweaty (possibly due to his disabilities) so much more pleasant to have him sweet smelling for the day ahead!!

Wow - that's early to do Bedtime! Do yourselves a favour, and allow a 'Nana Treat Time' that fits in with what you've been doing.

I'd even be looking to do 'separate bedtimes' - one of you sort the youngest one out first, including sitting at the side of the them while reading the story. Keep the bedroom dimmed and your voice low - even monotonous - no 'excitable' stories.

As the youngest starts to drift off, the other one could start to get the older child ready for bed QUIETLY - so as NOT to disturb the younger one dozing off. During 'story time' you could also talk about what you've enjoyed together during the day and praise the times when they were well-behaved. Again, keep the bedroom light dimmed and your voice low/monotonous during story time. No video games or excitable stories.

I've had three children of my own - now all adults. Now it's grandchildren - though the youngest is now 5years old.

Have to say though, that I've refused point blank to have my younger son's two youngest (age 5 and 13) together overnight in my own home. The YOUNGEST is the problem in that instance! They can't even be allowed to sit next to each other in the car when they're going on a journey anywhere .

Sounds like your family are all early birds as the children must be up at the crack of dawn with such an early bedtime routine.
One of my granddaughters isn’t picked up from day nursery til 6pm.
Our family are all night owls and my grandchildren aged 7, 4 and 2 go to bed somewhere between 8 and 9. Even later when they stop at my house/school holidays/weekends. They don’t wake till at least 8 am when at mine which suits me.

Too early and really bedtimes should be the best times.
Time to read them books you really love.
Don’t think about it till after six for meal then baths, pjs and read them books. It will take a couple of hours. And I agree with others a walk play in the park or whatever before evening meal. Tired full clean and mentally relaxed. I know it’s easier said than done and I only have dogs now and it works with them too! Believe me you don’t want an energetic dog trying to play tug with you all evening.

I think you have to accept that this is how it is and not try to stop what is happening. The rioting at bedtime is them letting off steam before going to sleep. My 2 grandsons behave in exactly the same way at home and with me. Bedtime is the time for endless fighting and screaming, all fairly amicable, no crying. If you shut them away to do it and go and watch telly you can go back after a while and you will find them in a heap fast asleep. Not all children do this. I had one GC who would toss and turn and sing for ages before drifting off. They are all different.

GrandmaKT I do think the bedtime is a bit early for those ages, and also they still seem to have a lot of energy to expend. Maybe an hour later might help to get them more ready for bed.

To me it simply would not be up for discussion with the parents. If Gdcs are staying with you, and the home routine is seriously exhausting you, time to alter it to suit you.

Otherwise they don’t stay in future.

That's just too early to expect them to be tired ? What time do they wake up?

Paperbackwriter

Goodness that's very early - no wonder they're not tired!
Are they having sweet things with their supper? Best not to have any sugary puddings so they don't get hyper.
But basically - split the bedtimes, as someone else suggested and maybe experiment with letting them stay up till they're actually tired.

Yes! This too. My DGS has to eat his vegetables before he has any chance of dessert, BUT sweet stuff sets him off. So he has dinner quite early but can have a piece of (wholemeal) toast before bed.

Way to early as not used up all their energy and it is light .No wonder they run you and their parents ragged .You shouldn’t have to spend that long Their parents need to explain to them and lay down boundaries and I would

Goodness that's very early - no wonder they're not tired!
Are they having sweet things with their supper? Best not to have any sugary puddings so they don't get hyper.
But basically - split the bedtimes, as someone else suggested and maybe experiment with letting them stay up till they're actually tired.

Too early - I agree. Make the process happen later and choose a late afternoon activity which is physical - a walk - trampolining - hide and seek. Then have a star chart with each event in a column - 5.0 pm tea eaten - 6.00 book reading or play - 7.0 preparing for bed - 7.30 lights out and settle nicely. Earlier in school time. Next day award a star sticker for each child who has earned their star for each activity done nicely.
It worked with my two GC who were very boisterous at bedtime and they loved the competition of trying to beat each other. Bedtime became routine after this.

My parents used to have their grandchildren staying when they were little from babyhood and my brother's twins were by far the worst at bedtime!
They had never been allowed naps during the day from about 6 months old- SiL thought they wouldn't sleep at night if they did. Instead they got overtired and only fell asleep at about 10 pm from exhaustion!
They used to do the same as yours , including running up and down stairs, which was unfair to my son as we lived with my parents at the time and he was usually in bed between 7 and 8pm! My dad just sat them down one day and told them that they wouldn't be able to come to Nanny and Pappy's again unless they were quieter and stayed in their rooms.
We gave them (at that time) a cassette recorder and story tapes and also the books to go with them or music tapes,that they had on the understanding that they stayed in their rooms. It worked.

Callistemon

I wondered if they organised such an early bedtime because they wanted some time to themselves in the evening.

It's not working though, is it!

well they get to spend time on the landing

I had a child with autism so I had to be quite strict about routine but kids need it at night time really. Ours was bath, an hour of tv, story with a warm drink and bed. I would stay in their rooms if needed until they dozed off. They didn't go to be quite so early though.

Your daughter/son need to accept that when you have young children you rarely get times to yourselves unless you have loving grandparents who will have them overnight so you can go away - which is what you are doing! So tell them if they don't get them in a routine you wont do it

Way too early!!

I think you have to keep them up later (just as a treat while you’re with GM and GD).