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New date concerns

(31 Posts)
Katie59 Sun 26-Sept-21 10:58:26

This sounds highly risky you don’t have too much on common AND you only have what he says as a guide to his character.
If you have a comfortable life with your own house don’t mess it up, be very sure he is all he says he is. When you have had a couple of nice days out go away for the weekend with him, if that goes well then there is a chance of a lasting relationship.

Early Sun 26-Sept-21 10:55:11

You dictate the speed at which this goes. Don’t be pressurised into making longer term plans, holidays and such. Enjoy his company on dates. Only do what you feel comfortable with.

Listen very carefully to what he says. The clues are often there as to whether there’s any future. He is already ringing your alarm bells.

IME men do this a lot, go completely over the top (and be aware that he may be playing the field and doing exactly the same with others), fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat. They can be exhausting … and then they cool off just as quickly or want to change you.

The age difference doesn’t have to be a thing. It can make a lot of sense to date younger men for all kinds of practical reasons so long as you have things in common. It can be good too to meet people from other walks of life so long as, if the relationship has legs, they don’t start expecting you to change to fit their life rather than find compromise.

Slowly, slowly …

silverlining48 Sun 26-Sept-21 10:47:01

Be careful and take things slowly. He seems to be going much too fast and I felt uncomfortable just reading your post.

Peasblossom Sun 26-Sept-21 10:46:39

Well this isn’t for the long term, is it? Too many no nos.

But no reason why you shouldn’t have a bit of fun for a while. It won’t do you any harm to shake it up a bit. And then you can go back to your quieter life when you want.

Have some fun and don’t commit to anything more than some nice days out. Make sure he’s knows that’s how it is

DiscoDancer1975 Sun 26-Sept-21 10:40:56

I sounds like you’ve already done them. You have your gut instincts which shouldn’t be ignored. I have zero experience of this sort of thing, but this sounds wrong to me, and feel it does to you too.

Don’t accept second best, there are loads of people out there.

All the best.

faringdon59 Sun 26-Sept-21 10:37:11

Been online dating for a while.
Mostly just one date and sometimes getting to date two. But no relationship for 8 years. I'm 66, the past 18 months with reduced contact socially has taken its toll as well.
Recently met someone who is 12 years younger and has put me out of my comfort zone in every way.
Complete opposites looks wise background wise; he's a sharp city person, I'm a village/small town girl.
On both dates he has talked about us going out for days, going on holidays together, which all sounds a bit risky to me.
He likes a drink most days and I'm virtually teetotal.
Went on second date this week, I feel nervous when I meet him and I get overwhelmed by my concerns when my 'sensible' head kicks in.
But really enjoy his company when I'm with him.
My gut tells me he could unravel my comfortable life.
So other than the gut feeling, can the grans advise as to what checks they would do in a new relationship like this?