Am I being too cynical?

I don’t mind people asking for old ‘stuff’, as you never know- someone might be about to have a clear out and throw away old CDs or take a table to the tip.

It’s when people ask for hard cash that it irritates me, and when the same name pops up as ‘first dibs’ every time something’s offered.

Some people asking for help on my local FB groups seem genuine but a recent one irritated me. He was asking for 50s/60s/70s CDs for his elderly father. I posted that there are a lot of CDs for sale for 50p (sometimes 5 for £1) in local charity shops. I've bought some, they are all good. The poster replied that they weren't suitable. He definitely wanted freebies for himself.

Please don't be a sap! Anyone begging in this way is fishing for someone gullible enough to fall for an outlandish story! How more ridic. Can these be? " My DS just got run over by train whilst helping disabled child retrieve his 3 legged puppy that fell onto tracks whilst being petted by an old lady who has...blah blah...." Really? Should you have the need to help, help locally with an outfit you're comfortable with, church group/salvation army/ local hospice. Please don't let the spongers fool you. Stay cynical.?

I can’t say I have noticed kitty. I mostly see news about badly parked cars or CCTV of attempted robberies.

I know someone was robbed of their shopping recently from their invalid car and people chipped in to replace it which I thought was lovely.

I posted once when I fell off my bike and had to go to hospital to the kind student who took my bike to her home for safekeeping!

I only give money to my charities of choice unless it is something sudden like bushfires, floods etc. I remember when they had the big tsunami on Boxing Day in Indonesia we gave a lot of money as did many Australians but we found out later very little had reached those who needed it. That is the issue with a lot of these corrupt regimes and now we tend to only give to those we know are part of the rescue missions .

grandtanteJE65

I keep getting e-mails from people purporting to be African school-teachers whose pupils need books and pencils!

These might well be genuine cases of need, but does anyone seriously believe we would send money off into the blue in response to an e-mail?

So no, if you are being cynical, then so am I.

I wonder where they got your email address from?
If they are a real charity they should be registered, and therefore their badge should be displayed somewhere so you can check them out!
'If in doubt, send nowt'!

BlueBelle

I ve been on FB years and years and never heard of Spotted?
We have local FB groups and we have a helping hands group that run services for those fallen on hard times asking for certain food or baby items and then distributing them
I wouldn’t give to an Anonymous person as they are probably just sold on

I think the closest thing around here - Thanet, Kent - would be Fb Marketplace.
Unless I'm barking up the absolute wrong tree!

We have a local "trash nothing" where people offer surplus items. Donors are advised to wait for a day or two before choosing who to give to, so that everyone has a fair chance. This stops 'first come, first served' chancers from grabbing and, perhaps selling on numerous items.
People can also put in requests for things that they need. I have helped out a few times, but avoid those who ask for items of a specific make or colour. If you are hard-up you are glad of anything. I also skip ones such as a recent post, with a picture of two grinning young people - one sticking her tongue out - stating that they had just moved into a flat, and needed "everything!" My first thought was "Get a job."

I just go with a gut feeling usually, also if a lot of people have donated I feel that I don't need to feel guilty if I don't.

I sent some money to a lady in America who was asking for help with her cat's vet fees. That was some years ago and we've been friends ever since so it works out well sometimes.

Our local spotted page has been very good at finding lost cats. I’ve had cats gone missing several times and it’s been very upsetting. Thankfully a lot of these local cats have turned up elsewhere although, sadly some have been deceased. But even that is better than not knowing what has happened to a dear pet. One of the most cheering things to happen to me over the past 20 months is feeling so happy when someone’s cat turns up safe and well in someone’s garden.

I don't know Spotted either, but would broadly agree that I would ignore such posts.

Freecycle is slightly different - although most of us would like to think that our items are helping people - the prime intention is to keep stuff out of landfill.
I am in a few Freecycle groups (they cross over my area) and the general rule is that unless there is a false sob story, the items are freely gifted. Liars get axed.

I know a few people who take things from FC, refurbish & repair them before selling on. I don't mind that.
That to me is very different from soliciting donations falsely.

What gets me on the local Facebook page are the same old requests “I know it’s a big ask, but is anyone gifting a freezer, flat screen tv, gas cooker, etc. etc”.

Often wonder if they then appear on another site for sale. It’s the ‘gifting’ that irks me, why don’t they just say “Is anybody giving?”….

Oh, or if it’s a ‘Give For Free’ site, they then go on to ask for donations for ‘my baby daughter’s money box’.

Yeah right, cynical old me.

Those are the comments you see a great number of on Spotted pages - as an admin on my town's non-spotted page we block any pleas unless we know the poster to be genuine. In our relatively small town it is easy to keep track. We also check every post but on Spotted sites anyone can post anything. As an admin, I say be cynical, be very cynical sadly

JdotJ
That happened with our local Freecycle group.
A couple would come with a van, go round collecting items then it was discovered that they had a secondhand shop in a town several miles away.

There is a local FB page for my area whereby residents kindly donate for free, various household goods/clothes etc and recently one of the admins on the site posted a message saying that someone has been blocked, as it was discovered (how I don't know) that this someone was first in the queue within seconds for free stuff every time anything at all was posted and it wasn't being accepted in the spirit in which it was being offered.
Oooh

I don't think you are being cynical Kittylester.

We have, in our area, a poster who used to regularly ask for items, as "they are an elderly couple who have downsized and moved into smaller accommodation".
Or wording very similar to that.
I think they must have everything they need now, as the request seem to have stopped. Cynical moi?

I think you should only give to those who are reliable, we have a foodbank donation in our local store and that is ok because we all know where the goods are going to and roughly the area of distribution. Other pleas are few and far between on the local page so we all know that they are genuine. I don't get spam.

I get many begging letters in my spam - many of them in German (I have no Germanic connection), or from Africa. I understand these are not gender dependent - but the ones that offer me (definitely female) a penis extension.....??

Yes its happening all over. I ignore most of it. Although if I have something I don't need anymore I'd be inclined to offer it rather than take it to be destroyed.
I do feel that sometimes the way it's worded doesn't help.

WonderBra

Doodledog with regard to the FB posts about dogs with a terrible illness and asking for crowdfunding, I'm on a fb page where there are a couple of people doing that. One sets up several crowd funding pages, linking each one to a different post, and posts on several pages (and covering at least a couple of breeds - that's just from my fairly minor use I've seen). She raised about £20K in that way last year, from the few posts I saw, but when I reported her post, I was the one getting abuse, because that 'poor woman, trying so hard' etc. The condition required about a £5,000 spend (although it's something routinely done for about £800, which is what made me wonder at the start). Recently, it's started up again with another dog - the first one died. Apparently.

Yes, I am extremely cynical too. My daughter is less so (with the innocence of youth ), but even she is getting hardened to it. It's such a captive audience, as everyone in the group is a lover of the breed, and the scammers show cute puppy pictures that go straight to the heart of dog lovers.

It's always Crowdfunding, too, where people can contribute smallish amounts. If they were genuine, why not set up an account with a vet, to prove that the money was going directly to fund the operation?

Also, the dogs are expensive, and notorious for having problems. Why would someone pay a lot of money if they can't afford even basic pet insurance? It doesn't add up, to me.

I do remember seeing one heartrending post of a lady wanting toys and Christmas stuff for her 3 children.
Turned out she would only accept brand new items and was selling what people donated at a carboot sale.
Must admit it put a lot of people off donating to anyone else, me included.

I am suspicious of some of these requests too, having knowledge of some people who post. A local second hand dealer has been known to post asking for help for someone else, but is then seen advertising items he collects for these fictitious people. About 6 years ago a single parent work colleague was flooded out of her home, and lost everything, (and was out of her property 10 months). As many were in 'the same boat' the council opened the town hall for donations and her own cousin went to the council with a list using her name. She was NOT a flood victim, and was trying it on, but fortunately she was caught out, and police were involved.

Doodledog with regard to the FB posts about dogs with a terrible illness and asking for crowdfunding, I'm on a fb page where there are a couple of people doing that. One sets up several crowd funding pages, linking each one to a different post, and posts on several pages (and covering at least a couple of breeds - that's just from my fairly minor use I've seen). She raised about £20K in that way last year, from the few posts I saw, but when I reported her post, I was the one getting abuse, because that 'poor woman, trying so hard' etc. The condition required about a £5,000 spend (although it's something routinely done for about £800, which is what made me wonder at the start). Recently, it's started up again with another dog - the first one died. Apparently.

Ignore ignore ignore!!!!

I have seen a few of these in local (Devon) Spotted FB pages, and they have been met with alot of kind and heartfelt responses, offering various items, food etc. I am extremely cynical in my view of these posts, having responded to one thinking it was genuine, but I don't believe it was, I obviously didn't have what she was looking for. Felt a little foolish after the experience, as there are so many people out there who could benefit from a little kindness.