What would you think if you received this?

Their baby, their rules.

... but the constant reference to "baby girl" I find a bit twee and affected...

It sounds very reasonable, in Covid times, and then there are no doubts about fairness to all. My first thought would be for my daughter, and her child and anything which protects them and makes them happy makes me happy.

To be honest I would be thrilled two weeks that’s nothing lol. My last granddaughter was born on 1st nov and became we were in lockdown I couldn’t get to meet her for 19 weeks. But my son and his wife said it give them time to get to bond with her and into a routine before family landed on them. I wouldn’t dream of not doing a covid test before I visit my family and I also do when get home. I think your friend is overthinking it. Things have changed a lot since covid as arrived. Baby won’t notice who is visiting. I got photos sent video calls but end of day it’s not what your friends want it’s what the parents want. Respect there wishes.

I had no problem with this note…it is a pandemic, and I guess I would be focusing on the fact that having a baby in these circumstance must be bloody difficult and cultivating some empathy, rather than not liking the exact phrasing of the message. It is direct and to the point. Good for the young mother-to-be.

It is only two weeks and then MIL who doesn’t seem to be able to take ‘no’ for an answer can see the baby. Seems reasonable to me. I also can’t think anyone would want to be have to stop their car on the way home from a medical procedure to visit… What if the mum has to have a C-section or has a difficult labour?

My advice is, tuck your fingers tightly into a bag, so you can’t poke their phone numbers to call. Let them think about what they’ve done, and see what reaction you hear or see!
Adopt the wait and see policy!

Well! What can one say. If this were my daughter I’d be extremely upset. All I can say is that I don’t think I would be available at their 2 week window - a distant relative would very suddenly have a situation that needed my assistance and, unfortunately, I have to go and assist them. Don’t know how long I’ll be gone but see you sometime when I get back if it’s mutually convenient.
Thank you ❤️

Yes, just wait until they need a babysitter or some help in the house. A lot of those rules will go out the window.

Personally, I would be very upset.

I’ve seen this message before, I think it might be one of those shared and copied by new mums to use as standard. I thought it was bad enough when it seemed to be from a daughter to a mum but that fact that it looks like people aren’t even creating their own messages themselves now is beyond belief. As a grandma I would be extremely upset. Yes I understand the need to keep baby safe and everything covid related but then have a considerate conversation about it, if not face to face by phone but not in a message ( penned by someone else). Most people if treated considerately would understand and be only too willing for safety issues. As for the bit about being exhausted, time to bond and don’t be expecting coffee etc - these people need to get over themselves, we’ve all had babies and been exhausted, we weren’t the first and won’t be the last. Sharing the arrival of a new addition to the family is a joyous time for everyone and if you need help or some sensible measures around safety ask and you shall receive, no need to be pompous about it. Sorry but this really got my goat, so yes I would be upset and deeply offended.

I think it’s okay. When I had my first, I was in hospital for 5 weeks and was still poorly enough, when I got home , to warrant a daily home help and visits from my doctor and/ or health visitor. The World and his wife and dog were at our door for days until my doctor put a card in the window telling all visitors to stay away. I hasten to add that my Mum ‘phoned every day but would not have dreamt of visiting until I started to feel better. In this way, I looked forward to our daily chats and was able to ask her advice and she always made me laugh. What a wise woman she was .

Can you remember what it felt like after giving birth? In my day we were in hospital for seven days, therefore having visits limited by hospital visiting times. Now women are in hospital only hours. Cut the girl some slack. I felt overwhelmed by over excited in-laws and think good on her!

I would avoid my DD until I was ready to visit . It could be 2 weeks , it could be 2 months . But I’m not really keen on babies .
As it happens , I was in the labour ward with my only DD when she was having her only DD . When she had to go to theatre for an emergency section I waited outside while her husband went in with her.
Pregnant mums should do what they want around the birth of their child , as long as it’s what SHE wants and not what a controlling DP wants .

No problem for me.

Being sensible and honest, there will be plenty of time to see the gc. I wouldn’t worry we have telephones you know and face time.

The underlying concern about Covid and immunity is understandable to any sensible person and they are clearly concerned. It's impossible to judge the way in which the 'rules' were conveyed as we don't know anything about the personalities on either side and how the GM would behave with the baby.

It's their precious first baby and we're still in a covid epidemic. I completely understand, though I think a loving phone call to her mum would have been more compassionate

You are lucky to only wait 2 weeks . In pre Covid times I was made to wait over 3 weeks and allowed only a few hours to LOOK at our only grandson . I had travelled from Devon to London to a b&b and took the train to them in Hertfordshire as made to feel unwelcome. And daughter-in -law did not want him touched.Grandson now 7 and we are not allowed to babysit or be alone with him!

It’s a little harsh to be told you need to wait to meet your first grandchild.

But, it is common sense to wash your hands before picking up a newborn and to restrict the kisses, maybe just one on the top of the head

yes, it's the fashion people being captured by boundaries and embarrassingly taking it too far. What's totally lacking is any charm or softness. and it's all sold on making relationships clearer and better! It's just embarrassing and clusy. There are better ways. You know being gracious and charming and making people feel comfortable and valued.. 'manners' in a word. good luck, keep cool and bear with.

Ali08

I see OPs posts in green and my own in pink.

Lucky you!!

I miss that feature.

I see OPs posts in green and my own in pink.

Sounds fine to me. But I've heard of babies dying because someone with a coldsore, tho not apparent at the time, kissed the babies and them not having the immunity needed to fight off any infections succumbed to them!!
My DD BFF just had a baby about 6 or 7 weeks ago, and asked that people wash their hands and sanitised before touching baby, that's fine to me. Not my baby, not my rules, but because I obeyed I got to have loads of cuddles with the baby!
Imo, it's up to the parents how their baby is introduced to family and friends!!!

welbeck

MercuryQueen, spot on !
and welcome on board.
are you an admirer of the great Freddie ?

Freddie was a musical God, imo.

I’d be fine with it if they want alone time with the baby then that’s their prerogative, as long as everyone has received the same message of course. Chances are that if this is their first child they’ll be phoning asking for help and advice before the 2 weeks is up ?.

MercuryQueen, spot on !
and welcome on board.
are you an admirer of the great Freddie ?

VioletSky

MercuryQueen I think you are the first person to say proud and it's exactly the right word

Thank you.