How do I deal with this?

Your plan is spot on ..." I have made my decision and I won't change my mind. It is your decision not to have the vaccine, I respect your right to make your decision. Please respect mine."

What a shame there are so many people brain washed by this tripe. My friend's daughter also repeated the 'chip' information, but luckily now has had the vaccination.

I'm sorry you will be alone because your friend isn't vaccinated, but I wouldn't entertain her and risk my own health.

Tell her straight out that you are entitled to your opinion, and she to hers.

This being so, she must respect your right to say that no-one who has not been fully vaccinated witll be allowed into your house at any time.

I realise it is unpleasant, but if you give in over Christmas you will worry if she sneezes or coughs and once you have had her to stay at Christmas you can't very well turn her away at any other time she wants to come.

If she did come, what would you do or say if someone who is vaccinated came by? Let them in without telling them that your other guest is not vaccinated, or feel forced to say, as I would feel, "You're welcome, but Annie here isn't vaccinated" ?

Right now in Denmark we have an increase in cases of covid19, mainly amongst the unvaccinated, but they can spread the infection to people who have been vaccinated.

By all accounts, covid 19 is not a minor or pleasant ailment, even if you are vaccinated against it before contracting it.

So stick to your guns.

You don’t need to have advice. There’s no way you should accommodate her. My friend is very sick with covid at the moment. She is double jabbed, and was due to have her booster next week. Without those vaccines, I think she would very likely have died.

Like you, we have to respect people’s wishes, but in your home......no.

Well, without it, she may die even sooner, if she gets the bug.

If she's dying soon anyway, what difference will it make having the vaccine? That sort of illogic does my head in.

Point out to her that she fears it will be her last Christmas. It could also be yours if she comes for Christmas and is not vaccinated.
Your house your rules.

Please say no . Your friend doesn't seem to understand that she can easily catch it and so can you! You may not be as ill as her but she needs to understand that vaccination is not 100% effective.
The choice is simple, no vaccination , no shared Christmas! As for believing the jab alters your DNA!!! For goodness sake!!! You know in your heart she is being unreasonable , if she fails to be vaccinated just tell her you are not prepared to put yourself at risk. In your position I would feel very cross with her. Do not be made to feel guilty about this - you must stick to your guns. If she tells you she has been vaccinated , ask to see the card she will have been given. Did not tane any risks.

just say no.
don't be guilt-tripped.

Some good advice here already. I like Kim19’s idea of reversing the guilt. I’d stick to my guns though and even ask to see her vaccine card if she suddenly say’s she’s had it.

You really need to reverse the guilt trip on to her. 'Isn't it a pity you're anti vax or we could have had Christmas together' sort of thing. Another thought is that you could deliver a note through her door. Sometimes the written word can be absorbed more slowly whereas conversations are often spontaneously over emotional. I wonder..... if she subsequently said she had been vaccinated would you believe her?

She is an adamant anti-vaxxer and you are an adamant vaxxer. It is your house you make the rule:. if she doesn't have both vacs by Christmas, a shared meeting is off.

As for using emotional blackmail (it might be my last Christmas). In my book anyone using that puts themselves beneath contempt, especially when the person bing blackmailed has underlying health problems.

This lady's choice is quite simple. She can choose to spend Christmas alone or she can choose to have the vaccination and spend it with you.. The OP will have every right-minded person on their side.

Thanks for the replies. When she said this would probably be her last Christmas I did ask why and she said because of her age (she is the same age as me!), no other reason. If she did have a serious illness, believe me she would have told me about it.

She is what you might call an awkward person, she takes offense easily, refuses to speak to the person who has given the "offense" and then wonders why they are not making an effort to get back in her good books, as a result she has a very limited social circle - basically me and my friends. I have known her since we were at school and am used to her ways and up to now have just ignored them.

I think the next time she raises the question I will just say I won't change my mind and ask that she respect my decision, then, as some have said, the ball is in her court.

Even a vaccination isn't 100% protection as recently I have heard of 2 people, both fully vaxxed who have died from covid.
If you want to have Christmas alone tell your friend that or if you need to see her then take as many precautions as possible but maybe ask her how she would feel about infecting you.

I think, and actually hope, that the covid pandemic has changed some of our old habits for the better. so nothing is set in stone. You may want to change your Christmas traditions and why not?

Eviebeanz

I have had two jabs and will have booster when I can. However the whole family have had covid we think as a result of grandchildren passing it on. We have been shocked at how unwell we have still been. We have told an unvaccinated relative that we cannot meet up with them as we would be unable to bear the guilt if we unwittingly passed any illness onto them.

That would be a good way for the OP to get out of this ie just say, for the sake of her friend’s health she couldn’t possibly risk infecting her!

As suggested, you could ask her to be tested before she comes Beckett but if that wouldn't make you feel more comfortable then simply tell her you're sorry if she'll be lonely at Christmas, but you wont have anyone in your home who hasn't been vaccinated.

I don't see what else you can do.

You say your friend is an anti vaxxer, would you feel the same way if she had an underlying health condition and could not have the vaccine?
Vaccinated people are just as much of a risk of catching and spreading covid as the unvaccinated. A lot of people like your friend are under the illusion that if your vaccinated your ok. Perhaps she doesnt realise this, you shouldnt feel guilty about xmas you must look after yourself regardless if this upsets your friend.

Unless she has received a terminal diagnosis how does she know this will be her last Christmas? My guess is she is trying to pile on the guilt. You respect her decision not to be vaccinated so she should respect your decision not to have someone to stay who hasn't had the vaccine. Stay strong and don't give in to emotional blackmail

Tell her straight get vaccinated or you are on you own don’t be manipulated by emotional blackmail.

I have had two jabs and will have booster when I can. However the whole family have had covid we think as a result of grandchildren passing it on. We have been shocked at how unwell we have still been. We have told an unvaccinated relative that we cannot meet up with them as we would be unable to bear the guilt if we unwittingly passed any illness onto them.

I guess if you have views, like her anti-vax views, that put you in a tiny minority then you have to be prepared to feel lonely sometimes. It's tough, but it's a personal choice.

Would you be happy for her to visit if she had a clear test before coming?

My friend is anti-vax for pretty much the same reasons as your pal. She has had Covid and been very ill for weeks but remain totally anti and a bit scorning of anyone who has had the vaccine. I love her dearly and respect her choices, but a huge part of me thinks she's a delusional fool and it has, I'm ashamed to say, changed the way I think about her.

Can I put the other point of view. She is more likely to catch it from you than you from her.

I was a little surprised at my friend who waited until I had served up dinner to tell me she wasn’t vaccinated but on consideration she has good reason due to her medical history and she is most at risk. Seen her several times since with no problems.

I can only quote Professor Sarah Green (one of the ladies behind the Astra Zeneca vaccine) " I do not have Bill Gate's phone number and I have no idea how to put a nanobot into a vaccine."

Your friend is only thinking of herself without a care for your health and well being. Be strong and tell her that she cannot come to you for Christmas and do it today. Don’t let it eat you up with guilt.

Just tell her again that you aren’t having her this year, and keep repeating it, as Midgey has said the remedy lies with her.
If she mentions it again refuse to discuss it.
You are right you have to protect yourself.