Should we give our neighbour a present?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Good to see the Christmas spirit is alive and well. Does a small kind gesture require so much thought

You could always take a homemade cakes round at new year as an alternative?

We seem to send cards to neighbours who send cards to us and not to the ones who don't. Some years I forget and don't bother but I too would not like neighbours to feel obliged which is why if I don't a card I don't send one back - no slight intended.

Kryptonite

As a reverse problem, how do you stop giving a present when it has just become a habit, and you both know you want to stop but no one is brave enough to say so or do it first?

One of you has to pluck up courage and say, “We’ve decided to cut down on the giving and receiving of presents, except for close family. Hope that’s ok with you.”

Maybe write it in an early Christmas card, and give them plenty ofnotice.

As a reverse problem, how do you stop giving a present when it has just become a habit, and you both know you want to stop but no one is brave enough to say so or do it first?

How kind of your neighbours. I imagine they feel they've come to know you a little better this past year and simply want to show their appreciation of your neighbourliness. I doubt that they expect anything in return and may feel a bit awkward if you give them something. Just accept their gift gracefully with a very warm Thank You and saying what a lovely surprise it was.

But if you really feel you should reciprocate then keep it simple and inexpensive, a flowering plant or pot of bulbs; some homemade shortbread (you could always say you made too much and thought they might like some); or a nice bottle of wine. Remember it could become an annual thing, would you be happy with that?

At our last address we always exchanged gifts with a few of our neighbours. We considered them friends as well as neighbours and they had always given to our children when they were small, and later our GC. But when we moved here we found our neighbours were surprised to even get cards from us let alone gifts, it was obviously not the custom here! After 9 years here we do now exchange cards but not gifts. They are friendly and we get on well enough but gifts are not the 'done' thing. So be it.

Why have they started - because of the difficult times we've had. Why don't you reciprocate and add a little note saying 'what a lovely idea to cheer everyone on their way' thank you for starting it. And definitely include a present here.

Kim19

I would give her a bunch of flowers on NYD.

Great solution!

I'd reciprocate with exactly the same combo! Otherwise this will escalate as Brits cannot resist getting one over one another!!?? Or just say a lovely 'thanks' and leave it. We've started to give a tenner to our new baby next door, only cos we've been rewarded for taking in parcels for last 4+ years at Christmas time by them but it's ALWAYS gonna be a tenner, then when they move which they will, I will stop!

Have you helped them out during the past year that has perhaps prompted the gift giving? If so probably a Thank You for doing so. Otherwise I'd just offer a hearty thank you when you see them next commenting it was a surprise but greatly appreciated.

As others have said - something homemade would be lovely. It says “thank you, and I’m thinking of you” but isn’t so obviously a present.

I would bake something like gingerbread reindeer or Christmas cup cakes and ring the bell to deliver.
A homemade gift is different from a shop bought item. It says: "Merry Christmas - I overbaked" or "Merry Christmas - don't expect this every year".

We get on with our 4 sets neighbours on both sides and having an allotment are able to share our produce with them all year. Also we love making chutneys and pickles so it is our pleasure to share these.
We don’t expect anything back, today we received a lovely note thanking us for the wonderful produce and fresh veg and fruit. That was all the thanks we needed.

This has happened to us this year, we have two neighbours where the men in the houses remain after seperating each one came seperately last evenin with a little present.We were very grateful if not surprised but I dont think we will reciprocate as it doesnt need to become a habit.When a new partner arrives they might not want this to become a habit.

I have given a bottle of whisky for the first time and definitely do not want them to reciprocate as they put our bins out

I always wrap a box of biscuits & keep under my tree just incase someone does just this .

Because I love baking and live alone I don't do it very often. Christmas gives me an excuse to bake to my heart's content. I bake and it goes to my immediate neighbours and two local friends. I don't need or expect presents from them but this year 2 of my neighbours have given me flowers. I accepted them gracefully and thanked them. I really don't want them to give me things . I tried to let them know that I get so much pleasure from baking I don't expect anything in return.

Start as you mean to go on and unless you intend reciprocating ie giving your neighbours a gift and making this a regular new year occurrence, then 'a thank you' wishing you a happy and peaceful new year card, is enough.

I would give her a bunch of flowers on NYD.

How nice of them!
I think a nice little gift from you would be just as lovely for them, to let them know they are appreciated, too!

For goodness sake if we can’t give our neighbours a little gift at Christmas what have we become. I can’t believe what I’m reading here. We are neighbours, we all breath the same air. I’m thinking some don’t even bother to get to know their neighbours. Makes me feel sad. I know some neighbours are horrid but we’re not. Let’s be kind to each other. Share the love and those horrid neighbours may even be ok in time.

our new next door neighbours gave us a present last year, so this year I am leaving them a small gift. Our our neighbours next door but one who are from Hong Kong I will be giving them a present tonight, they have already given us one to thank us for helping them.

A simple homemade jar of jam or marmalade or a small cake or posy of leaves and winter flowers would be fine as a reciprocal gift, with card saying how lucky / thanking for lovely neighbours in these covid times

I have wonderfully kind neighbours who are difficult to buy presents for because they have any number of food allergies, so I give presents to their two little daughters, both born since they became my neighbours, so they call me 'auntie'.