Am I selfish/bad for wanting to enjoy my new year’s weekend instead of running errands for my mom?

Aveline

I expect your mother had a busy life too but somehow managed to care for you when you needed it. She deserves some consideration now.

She’s getting consideration.

She’s just not getting pjs and daily deliveries.

Do they use online shopping ? That would satisfy her shopping need and the postman would do the running around! ?

I expect your mother had a busy life too but somehow managed to care for you when you needed it. She deserves some consideration now.

highlanddreams

you're not being selfish, just tell your mum you'll happily get emergency supplies but you're not going to the mall because of covid risk, surely she'll understand that ?

But she said she's going out for "New Year's" (sic)

I agree with MayBeMaw, Anniebach and Aveline.

The shops will be shut today anyway, tell your Mom that you will buy the pyjamas next time you are near the Mall.

Your Mum must be upset and worried; are they very elderly?

I’m going out tonight for new year’s and I deserve to rest too since I also have a busy life.
I hope you don't catch Covid if you're out mixing in crowds of people.

you're not being selfish, just tell your mum you'll happily get emergency supplies but you're not going to the mall because of covid risk, surely she'll understand that ?

I must say I'm quite surprised at your attitude. In your shoes I'd want to help my parents in whatever way I can. You haven't actually done very much after all. I wouldn't be able to rest or relax if I thought my parents were ill and alone. Up to you of course. Just my opinion.

Surely it’s only for a short time , your mother must be worried about your father and having the virus herself.

If your mum is giving you the silent treatment that means she isn't asking you to run errands.
Should she contact you with more requests simply agree pleasantly and say you will pick it up next time you go shopping, well after the New Year's holiday. You can't take her anywhere because she should be isolating.

Browneyes I think your mother has forgotten what it is like to work and manage a home without adding hers to the list. Do a small shop for her, fine but not milk today, bread tomorrow etc.
Tell her you are exhausted and need time to yourself.

There is a difference between looking after parents and supporting them and being constantly bombarded daily with demanding phone calls. My mother never knew my mobile number, ( a deliberate action on my part), so constantly phoned my school and friends if she couldn't contact me.
It eventually affected my mental health. It is very difficult to find a happy medium.

I too understand your need to enjoy yourself and relax. But I also feel sorry for your mum. And I understand not wanting to risk the mall if it's not safe. She's probably just looking forward to getting the pjs. When she's able she can choose a quiet time to collect them.
If it's only for a short time I think I would ask each day if there is anything they need. That's what I'd be doing...if my mum was still here. I wouldn't think of it as "people pleasing".

My mother was like that for most of my life. It got to the point, that despite being very unwell, she was still demanding I run after her.
That was until my GP had a word with her and told I needed to rest in bed for a week, ( not exactly the truth) and wouldn't be able to run errands. It was such a relief and guilt free!

My mother was an expert at making me feeling guilty, its emotional blackmail.
For the sake of your own wellbeing, listen to the advice given here and look after yourself too.

Not selfish at all!

If you feel ok with it, tell your parents you have availability from x -x on x day for whatever they need and that's all.

Isolation is only 10 days not forever! Just say no to the pyjamas unless she has none and yes to essentials. I've done shopping for DD1 and her family whilst they were in isolation - some of it Christmas shopping but was happy to help and happier still that they didn't end up in hospital because I love them and they would do the same in reverse.

You sound very young or am I wrong?
It is perfectly possible and not unreasonable to say “I am going shopping on such and such a day, and time, can you ring/text/message me with a list? “ And leave it at that.
(Most shops are closed here on New Years Day anyway - are you in the US? )

I think it’s a very good idea to kindly but firmly set boundaries about what is a reasonable request and what isn’t. It’s unreasonable to ask you to go to the mall for something non essential when there is so much Covid around and you are very busy.
That’s sensible, not selfish.

You don’t need to feel bad, make the most of the silent treatment.

Don't feel guilty, I tend to do everything family asks of me & feel guilty if I don't but I think even I'd draw the line at going to the Mall for non-urgent pyjamas in my New Years' holiday. Sounds like you deserve a rest New Years weekend, hope you get one.

I think it is very easy for parents, especially when they are not well, to start to rely on their children for everything and not consider the cost to their children.

I think you need to tell your mothe kindly, but firmly that you will provide her with all the necessities but yu cannot ddo more, you have been very busy at work and need the long weekend to rest and recover.

Your father, uness he is very unfortunate, is unlikely to be severely ill, nor ill for very long, assuming he has been vaccinated, so your mother will soon be able to collect the pyjamas herself.

I don't think it's selfish at all.
I'm sure the pyjamas can wait a while.
Have you told your mum that you need some time to yourself?