Exhausted with entertaining grandchild

Yes, all the grans saying relish the time are right. I know I'm very lucky to have DGS living with me, despite the mess and grime and exhaustion. In 5 years he'll have no interest in granny so I want to enjoy him while I can.

We looked after our daughter’s twins when they were little. We also looked after their little brother, and also we looked after their cousin when he was small. Now three of them have gone to New Zealand and we miss them enormously. We still look after their cousin who is now nine, during school holidays sometimes. I absolutely know how exhausting looking after small children is, but this time won’t last forever. Try to enjoy your small granddaughter whilst you can because in a flash it will be gone.

Going to be hit over the head with the Gransnet shovel, but personally, I don’t believe that constant adult attention and involvement in play is good for children.

No shovel hitting from me.

I found my DGD were very good at entertaining themselves and entered into their own world with their Fisher Price people or skipping round the garden talking to some imaginary friend or animal, doing puzzles etc.

Sometimes we had to enter into the games or watch puppet shows they have devised or have competitions making PlayDoh objects, baking cakes or biscuits but not all day long. Boys, I think, do need more attention than girls but it is good for their imaginations to play on their own.

I meant to say the long walks were in the park doing a nature trail, in the summer with a picnic, not to the shops of course, hardly any awe and wonder for children there

I do remember feeling like that after a long session of grovelling about on the floor with Brio train set or Duplo. Now I miss those days, they are so much better at entertaining themselves, but often with bloody screens with their trusty I Pads. Shame! but they are children of their time so I have to accept that.

If ever the weather is good, long walks are great, particularly when they are still at the age of awe and wonder, always found that most rewarding. After a couple of hours usually found child/ren were happy to go hack home and sit and watch Stick Man/Guffalo/Room on the Broom and even ask to see it again when it had finished, which was always a great time for an extended cuppa to recharge!

I think what you feel is entirely normal OP.

A box of toys is a Godsend. They can rummage and find something different each time. I've had some marvellous things from charity shops in the past, just give everything a good soaking in Dettol, where you can, or use Dettol wipes on books/ boxes. Keeps them interested for ages and teaches them to use their imagination. Drawing and colouring holds their interest too.

It's not good to give a child your full undivided attention or they won't cope at nursery or school. You have a life too and jobs to do etc.

Take him to the park or to soft play. He can rip around and let off some of that energy while you sit and have a cup of tea. If you go during the day, before the schools let out, there are not many people there and thus the covid risk is a lot lower.

My 3 year old DGS (and his mum) live with me. I'm his full-time child care now DD is back at work. I work (teaching online) while looking after him too.

I echo PB who says he should be able to play on his own for some of the time. At least half I'd say. My DGS will play for a long time with toys like Duplo and Magna Tiles, also with play dough (although I keep a sharp eye on that, he likes to trek it around the house). He also has imaginative play stuff, such as his damn dinosaurs, cars.

Sometimes, with the building toys, if I start off playing with him, I can sneak off after a while and he sticks at it on his own.

Finally, if you're exhuasted, put a film on for him. My DGS is spellbound by Shaun the Sheep, or The Wrong Trousers (if you want to avoid the Disney rubbish).

None of this is to say that I don't enjoy his company, but I've got work to fit around him AND housework etc, since this is an everyday thing for me.

When my daughter asked me to have my granddaughter (then aged 4) for one long day a week, I made a list of all the fun things we could do.

On Day One, I had exhausted the list by 11am - only another 7 hours to go!!!!

It was great and I look back fondly, but I was good for nothing the next day.

They are exhausting. I even found them exhausting when they were my own and I was a young Mum! I think we forget

If 3 days is too much though, just talk to your son/daughter?

Yes, they are exhausting, and it gets boring! Like Peasblossom, I try to leave them to play independently, which sometimes works. But then there are times when they're very quiet in another room which is always a danger signal with children! I usually sneak a look without them seeing to make sure the bathroom isn't being flooded or walls scribbled on.

PS, we also had a swing, slide and see saw in the garden, quite cheap, and small brightly coloured plastic lawn mower, golf sets and a playhouse in the garden , all bought quite cheaply from Argos or Amazon, they played on these until they were quite big in all weathers.

Yes...you’re in that ‘ all or nothing ‘ situation, where you don’t see them at all, then almost binge see them, if that makes sense. That is definitely more tiring. Rather than one day a week constantly, you’ve got three days full on, and then nothing.

I don’t think you’re alone at all. I absolutely loved being a stay at home mum with my four children. I love the grandchildren, but don’t hanker to see them. My husband and I like our time now.

We have looked after them, but always happy to return them, and we don’t do overnights unless it’s an emergency.

Could you spread it out a bit? As some else said, you may just have to ride it through for now. He doesn’t need to be constantly’ on the go ‘. You could encourage ‘ quiet time ‘. Watch some tv, or he could look at a book by himself.

It may be a self perpetuating cycle. You play, and so he keeps wanting to, and so it goes on. It’s for you to start the quiet ball rolling.

All the best

Mine would watch CBeebies, colour in books, play with Lego (for hours) do large floor jigsaws. We had a large toy box which came out when they came down, with cars, dolls, a fold up dolls house, plenty of things to pull out and play with all day.
As long as I was in the next room they got on with it on their own, I would sit with them in the afternoon, after coming back from the swings, with a book.
Apart from that they were quite happy to play on their own.
Every day if fine enough I put them out in the garden to mess around in the sand pit, for a while or they would play with boxes or flower pots and a trowel in the dirt.
When I say ‘ they’ GD was the oldest and GS was a baby in the pram. As they got older they still played separately, each in their own little worlds.
However, early starts (and whilst they were babies, night feeds) are knackering, but I was only in my 50s then, I couldn’t do it now I’m nearly 70. Why not try to stay near but pottering about in the next room whilst he gets on with the serious game of playing on his own?

Peasblossom, what an enlightening post from a fresh perspective! I too advocate a ride on a bus to nowhere. My DGC LOVE it - particularly if you can find a double decker and they can sit at the front on the top deck. All parents have cars so a ride on a bus or a train is a real event for them.

I too adore my DGC but Christ they are exhausting! Yes, they will play on their own for a while but their constant cries of 'Granny, watch this' has me groaning at times.

But how very lucky we Grans are. I'll watch this thread with interest

I heartily agree! I looked after my grandson for two days a week for the last year and a half (aged one to two and a half). I loved it but it was so tiring. I created a routine which helped him and me. Lots of little activities. He is very active, which is great, but wanted me constantly to play with him. In many ways, I considered that a gift as I went back to work when my own children were small, so I didn't get to just play. Definitely get out to a park. I took him to a local park every week for an hour and a half. He ran about daft, played in the playpark, fed the ducks etc. It made him a bit easier to manage in the afternoon. Now his mum is on maternity leave with grandson2, I do miss looking after him but thoroughly enjoy when they visit as he still wants to play with grandma.

It is exhausting. Small children are exhausting. We had a range of games for when we were tired. Sleeping lions of course, a great one called "Wake the sleeping bear" where you pretend(?) to fall asleep with a toy bear tucked in with you and they have to try and sneak the bear. You can wake up and roar sometimes to scare them. For exhausting little ones we used to sit in the garden at the top, tell them there was a shop somewhere near the bottom and send them off to pretend shop, inevitably when they came back we use to say we'd forgotten something and send them back to get it. They trotted up and down the garden whilst we sat and chatted. There is also the emptying of cupboards something small children seem to love to do quite happily on their own. I always kept one full of stuff that didn't matter and wouldn't break.
Good luck and don't worry. It won't be that long till he's telling you he would like to do things on his own and could you just go and have a cup of tea or something.

Going to be hit over the head with the Gransnet shovel, but personally, I don’t believe that constant adult attention and involvement in play is good for children.

An adult can never enter into that state of absorption and make believe that is an essential feature of children’s play. Adults are always wanting to move things along.

From a professional point of view the most difficult children in the classroom were those who could not do anything unless there was an adult with them. I vividly remember one little boy who didn’t know he could look at a book without his “grownup”.

Can I suggest OP that you leave him to play with trucks and trains by himself, just getting on with something of your own but being available to take notice when he makes a comment or shows you something. He probably will talk nonstop while he’s doing it but a lot of the time it is to themselves and they don’t really care whether you join in. In fact sometimes it breaks their absorption.

Anyway, enough of the early childhood lecture. ?? Breakfast awaits?

It is exhausting, mentally and physically.

I went several times, without DH, to look after our granddaughter. I planned each day, filling it with short activities that could be extended or not used as necessary. I always included a walk, into town, to the play park or around the area to give myself a break. If the weather was good enough we always had a picnic lunch in the garden, too.

It is exhausting - I have a four-year-old grandson who literally - and I do mean literally - never sits still for a minute and never stops talking. Fortunately most of the time he is at nursery, but our schools don't go back until next week and we've had him for three full days this week, so I am exhausted. I wish I could get him to sit and do crafts or jigsaws or something, but even watching television, he is constantly on the go. There's nothing wrong with you at all - and good on you for admitting just how hard work it can be.

Make the most of it, exhausting , yes, fun yes, the years soon pass, and then they are teenagers, and don’t seem to have time for you anymore.

They can be exhausting. I find taking my two and a
half year old GS to the play park for an hour calms him down and we can read books for a while afterwards.

Instead of taking him for a walk with granddad, perhaps a trip to the park for frisbee or football would wear him out a little.
I used to find one day exhausting and would never plan anything for the next day (though I did have quite a long journey there and back), so 2-3 sounds scary.

I always had what I called quiet time after lunch and it worked even with active 3 year olds. They had books to look through or colouring or top trumps for the pictures. I set a timer and when quiet time was over it rang and they had a drink and a biscuit. Active children can still sit still for a short time, try the teachers stare, no voice needed. They had a reward after quiet time, always a childrens dvd and I made very sure to sit and have my quiet time at the same time

At some stage in the day they were taken out to let off steam and they had a quiet activity such as a bowl of bubbles in the sink and a plastic glass to look at the bottom of the water

Still, it is very very tiring and I too was glad when they went home

Yes it can be boring and exhausting - well done for admitting it! 2-3 days is a long time. We have a 3 year old one day a week and I only cope by having some activity planned such as soft play or stay and play toddler club where she meets others and can charge around for a couple of hours. We are lucky to be near some toddler friendly museums and parks so we will alternate one of them . Fortunately she likes painting, colouring and Playdough so will sit and do craft type things in the afternoon . If it’s not absolutely pouring we’ll be out in the garden. We also have some down time with stories and some CBeebies. We have a collection of Duplo and Playmobil which she likes to play with for a reasonable amount of time. We even go for a ride on a train or bus just for the ride! It’s not for ever though and there are many pleasurable moments.

Embrace every minute however bored or exhausted you get The time with them is so quickly gone
Seven grown grandkids and I d so love a few days back with them as exhausting little ones you never see them once they are grown and flown (unless you have a family that doesnt move anywhere)