Asked to Make a gift.

Make the ‘or something’ and make it small and quick to do.

Or don’t do it.

Your MIL should have asked you herself! Even then it’s a lot to ask you to do. Do it if you are feeling generous but does seem a tall order. If you do this for her she may then expect more in the future!

If you decide to make the blanket, it might be an idea to stitch a label into the corner of it, “Hand made by Char..” so that the recipient knows who it’s actually from.

I agree ..blooming cheek...I wouldnt do it ...unless you are happy yo do it because you enjoy making things?

I do enjoy making things and still occasionally make gifts, but I no longer make to others' requests. I say quite truthfully that it places me under pressure that I feel I can no longer handle.

Whatever the relationship and the motive behind the request, I suggest you just say that. If need be I explain that I want to work to my own timetable, and that if I run into problems, I can just ditch or alter the project, as no-one was expecting it.

Anyone who is good at handicrafts is used to folk who say 'can you just....?' without realising the thought & effort that goes into it.

I wouldn’t say it’s not the norm Valerie.
I’ve knitted 4 baby blankets (at the parents’ request & specifications), 2 lacy ones, 1 with fluffy sheep on and 1 with dolphins on

Just wondering if you are renowned for knitting? I mean if anyone asked me to knit anything I would lol. Not me. Hahaha

So, am thinking you are a knitter? If not, the solution is easy “I can’t knit”

IF you find it easy and it may repair bridges in the family, I might just do it.

Not sure why MIL asked you to do this though. It’s not the norm now for people to knit like it was way back. Is there anything in background that might have prompted this? Like she was trying to make you feel involved in some way?

Gosh she has a lot of nerve. I suppose she is expecting it for free as well? So basically she is expecting you to buy the baby gift that she will take credit for!

How much would it cost just for materials? The cost of wool plus hours of your time to handcraft a gift for someone who doesn't treat you very well.

I would say no as people like this will expect a repeat favour for all of the future grandchildren

Saying no is not rude, your MIL is

Yarn is not cheap, it takes many many many hours to make a blanket.
It is no small ask at all.

"It doesn't work for me"
Why???
"Because it doesnt - I hear etsy has lots for sale"

Perhaps your MiL took the coward’s way out of making the request via your DH because she knows it’s cheeky and/or she’s a bit frightened of you.
We don’t know what’s going on here but it all sounds manipulative & faintly ridiculous given that you have no real relationship with MiL’s brother & niece.
I would be direct with MiL. I would just ring her & say I was too busy to knit the blanket. This will possibly bring forth some defensive justification for the request, designed to make you feel bad, such as ‘well I just thought you’d like to contribute but never mind’ the obvious implication being that you’re the mean one, so just be prepared for that, stand your ground, repeat that you’re busy, and don’t offer to buy something instead!
Good luck!

If I feel uncomfortable with saying a direct 'No' - then I can be very vague and forgetful indeed (I've been practising).

'Oh, was I supposed to be knitting a shawl? Well, maybe I'll get around to it when I've finished all the other things'.

Funnily, I did knit a complicated, lacy baby blanket for my daughter. She really admired it, hung it on display - but never actually used it. She passed it on to second daughter - and same again. They love handmade things - but don't wrap babies up any more.

Hmm, I wonder if she is going to pass off your work as her own, or suggest that she bought this beautiful hand knitted shawl (which in a shop would be very expensive).

If you want to knit a shawl, knit it for your husband's daughter, unless the reasons you were not invited to the wedding are very deep seated. In fact knitting that for a family member much closer than MiL's niece would be a good excuse for not knitting for her.

Either way I would politely turndown your MiL's request, just say you are very busy with other projects and cannot do it at present.

If I've got this right - your MIL is requesting through your husband that you knit a baby blanket for the baby of her brother's daughter, whose wedding you were not invited to attend... and you last saw this brother 9 years ago?

My immediate reaction is - why? Why does she think you should spend time, money and effort for people you hardly know at all?

The only thing I can think is that either you have exceptional skills with the knitting needles - or your husband misinterpreted the 'request' making it sound more like a command than a request. But you obviously have 'issues' with your MIL so it's hard to work out why she's done this.

If she couldn't be bothered to ask you herself - she could've written a little note to you for your husband to give you - then maybe you should politely decline - through your husband?

I am surprised your mother- in -law didn't ask you personally to knit something for her niece's baby. If you enjoy knitting, do it but make sure you charge her for the wool; if you don't want to then say you simply do not have the time.

I would say you are giving knitting a rest for a bit, sorry. You’ve done too much lately.That is not rude. Do what you feel is right. You should choose whom and what you knit for.

Well if you enjoy knitting and it's not going to put you out too much why not do it. I wouldn't be giving any thought to who it's going to as its a favour for mil. I don't think its unusual not to have much contact with your mils extended family . I doubt my dh knows all my relatives far and wide.
If you are not an enthusiastic knitter that's a different story.

Just say no! That’s ridiculous. If your MIL wants to give a hand made gift she should be making it herself. If she doesn’t have the ability to make the gift let her go buy it like everyone else does.

I agree it's cheeky, but if you are feeling generous you can take it as a compliment that your knitting skills are noted by MIL.
As long as she doesn't send it as her gift!

Or you can brush off the request saying you aren't doing any knitting projects lately. People tend not to have baby showers like they used to, so it's likely you won't meet the new arrival for some time.