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Any wise words on leaving this mortal coil

(124 Posts)
Skyblue2 Wed 23-Mar-22 13:34:15

I have been impressed with how some grans are very philosophical about death and arranging their funerals. As I get nearer to the inevitable, I am starting to feel very uncomfortable about the thought of being buried underground or being burned up! It seems almost violent. How do other grans deal with this?

henetha Wed 23-Mar-22 23:45:45

I do hope you are wrong, Fennel .
I've opted for cremation although not keen on either really.
What really bugs me is that I won't know what's going on in the world
in the future. Who will win Wimbledon, etc? Will mankind survive?

Fennel Wed 23-Mar-22 22:29:05

You're righ Luckygirl - we need to take into account the feelings of others when we make the decision.
I'll have to ask our family. I honestly feel that my time to go isn't far off.

Shinamae Wed 23-Mar-22 22:26:47

Skydancer

I would like to wear a silk dress, have flowers in my hair and be put in a little rowing boat on the river in the sunshine. Then someone fires a flaming arrow at the boat which burns.

A sort of mini Viking funeral? If I had the money I would have a proper Viking funeral, out from the North Devon coast in a long ship and have friends and relatives firing flaming arrows into it….(you can actually get a replica of a Viking longship to put cremated ashes in and send that out to sea so that might be a viable option for me)..

Luckygirl3 Wed 23-Mar-22 22:16:02

Fennel

I agree with Baggs. When you're gone who cares?

My DDs care a lot; and I do not think they are alone. Their father's grave is somewhere they go for comfort.

Luckygirl3 Wed 23-Mar-22 22:15:09

My OH chose burial and he is under the yew tree in the most beautiful country churchyard imaginable, just down the lane from my home. My DDs tend it with loving care and it is awash in daffodils at the moment.

I don't - I find it disturbing to think about what is going on under the ground.

I have told the DDs that I want to be cremated and ashes scattered on OH's grave. He wanted me buried there but I cannot bear the idea of disturbing the grave - totally irrational of course, but aren't we all? - except Baggs! smile

Fennel Wed 23-Mar-22 22:02:46

Serendipity I should have added to my post - as you wrote/implied.
What happens to our material remains (which by now are in a right mess) is less important than the future of our non-material personality. If we're religious, the spiritual part.
The kind of life we have led, our efforts to keep our family together, kindness and generosity to others. If this is lacking, making an effort to put it right. Even if it doesn't work.

Skydancer Wed 23-Mar-22 21:28:21

I would like to wear a silk dress, have flowers in my hair and be put in a little rowing boat on the river in the sunshine. Then someone fires a flaming arrow at the boat which burns.

Serendipity22 Wed 23-Mar-22 21:18:32

Well, considering both options are not exactly pleasant, from a human point of view i am far, far more concerned with where i am going when i have taken my last breath, i believe in God, always have done and so that is my main concern.

We are thinking on human terms burial or cremated, which is perfectly understandable considering we are just that, human, but in my thoughts, hopes, longing, its to be with God.

smile smile

Maywalk Wed 23-Mar-22 21:06:54

Oldbat1

Woodland Burial are popular here. No more room at the cemetery seemingly. I think I would prefer a cremation as I don’t like the idea of being with people I don’t know around me.

Mine is a woodland burial Oldbat1.
My hubby has already gone. It was all paid for well over 25 years ago and neither of us wanted conventional funerals.
Hubby had his Glen Miller music including the two poems I wrote about us that he wanted reading that would help bring a smile to those attending the service, plus NO flowers. We finished up singing "Well meet again".
I want the same thing.

www.thenaturalburialcompany.co.uk/site-locations/prestwold/

JaneJudge Wed 23-Mar-22 20:48:17

I have always wanted to be cremated and I haven't changed my mind.

Fennel Wed 23-Mar-22 20:45:10

I agree with Baggs. When you're gone who cares?

Blondiescot Wed 23-Mar-22 20:23:37

It used to be very common for people to state in their will that they wanted their jugular vein to be severed by the undertaker - just to make absolutely sure that they were dead!
And I know I've said this on other threads on a similar topic, but if you've given instructions that you want your body to be donated to science, you need to have a Plan B in case they won't accept the body. This can happen for any number of reasons - they may already have their full quota of bodies at the time - as happened when my mum died.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 23-Mar-22 19:00:00

I worked with someone whose mother had left instructions that her wrists be cut in his presence to ensure she was dead. I wouldn’t go that far. If you’ve been in the morgue/undertakers for a couple of weeks you’re very unlikely to be alive. Burial for me, in a country churchyard with my Mum.

V3ra Wed 23-Mar-22 18:10:40

NotTooOld my Mum had a wicker coffin for her cremation, so yes you can. It was really pretty.
We had a lovely floral arrangement on the top which I brought back with us. I put it on the buffet table at the wake, with a framed photograph of Mum.
Afterwards I took the flowers back to Dad's house and they sat on the hearth for the next week.
It was a lovely send-off ?

Hellogirl1 Wed 23-Mar-22 17:51:15

I`m down for cremation. My great uncle always said he didn`t want cremating, but my great aunt said that was what she had planned for him. He said "I`ll kick the lid off as soon as I feel my toes burning!", but she still had him cremated.

NotTooOld Wed 23-Mar-22 17:43:48

Cremation for me also but I want a wicker coffin - wooden ones freak me out. Can that happen?

Kim19 Wed 23-Mar-22 17:43:25

Cremation for me. Remember my lovely Mum going on a regular guilt trip when she hadn't been to attend my Granny's grave every week. I'd rather not be a problem after I die. I'm doing my best now!

soop Wed 23-Mar-22 17:32:46

If there is anything useful left when I die, medical research is most welcome to do with it as it wishes.

Granny23 Wed 23-Mar-22 16:26:20

Honeysuckleberries

When I die don't bury me deep
Just shovel me onto the compost heap

When I'm well rotted you can bung
me onto the veg plot instead of dung

LilacChaser Wed 23-Mar-22 16:19:20

Cremated, then sent up into the ether via a rocket (firework) streaming out purple stars.

Grannynannywanny Wed 23-Mar-22 16:16:03

Have you seen the clip of the Irish man who played a prank at his own funeral with a pre recorded message? Fortunately his family enjoyed the joke. If your are sensitive to strong language or graveside images then don’t play the clip.
youtu.be/E0KAcT_3T1Y

BlueBelle Wed 23-Mar-22 16:15:10

For years I was going to be buried like everyone else in my family always has been but then read a lot of nasty things about it and saw some film where someone was buried alive and decided cremation would be quicker and more final so changed to that, sold my plot back to the council and told my kids to get the cheapest possible coffin as it’s just got to last a few hours before it’s burned
When I lived in the Far East we weren’t far from where they put the bodies on a pyre and burnt them you heard the organs popping and could smell it …that wasn’t too nice either
I can’t think of a nice way of going just hope it’s quick as a wink and everyone has made sure I m dead
Not sure grandtanteJ why you think most people will die in hospital it hasn’t happen in my family most have died at home

Blossoming Wed 23-Mar-22 16:11:19

I’m being buried in a bluebell wood. I like the idea of being reincarnated as bluebells smile

Kate1949 Wed 23-Mar-22 16:00:28

Cremation for me. The thought of being still alive and buried is terrifying. At least cremation would be quick.

VioletSky Wed 23-Mar-22 15:56:54

My dad would like his head blasted into space, he hopes that some friendly aliens will either be able to bring him back and show him some things or at least be freaked out one day.

I'd like to be cremated and turned into coral reef. Seems peaceful