How old are you?

Old enough to know better,too old to care.

I am 90 and these thoughts have concerned me for at least fifty years. They are sad thoughts. Get used to the fact that transience is sad and an inevitable part of life. Don't ruminate excessively. Worrying is useful if you have a problem to solve but you can do nothing about death and loss.

I'm 65 and don't really think about it! I recently learnt that my biological mother was 83 when she died so I hope to have a while yet but who knows!? My Mum is 97 and still going strong. We can't know when we will die, it might be crossing the road tomorrow, so no point in worrying about it

I'm 78 and pleased to still be alive.When I was 10 I was diagnosed as diabetic.Now thousands of injections later,I consider myself very lucky to still be alive and kicking.My husband died the day before his 79th birthday amd my stepdaughter and stepson were with me when he died.It was so peaceful that the thought of dying doesn't frighten me.I hope to see him
again and my parents too.

Grannygranby, what a brave and inspiring post.?

Some really inspiring posts. I’m 76 and find that hard to comprehend! Apparently I have some health issues to do with heart but have no symptoms and after getting the diagnosis and living in utter shock for a year or so I have put it aside though it has possibly affected my confidence to travel outside my comfort zone. That might have happened anyway.
It’s a bit ironic that for years I yearned to travel more but I didn’t have the funds and now I have, that desire has gone. It’s lucky that we can virtually visit so many places which is better for the planet too.
I live with two canine companions but no human ones. We go on wonderful walks together twice a day I think that keeps me sane. I have my own small business publishing political designs and this keeps me going, orders come in with wonderful letters and support and money.
I put my health anxieties on the back burner when my youngest granddaughter was born with severe disabilities. She is nearly three, cannot stand, or eat solids and the cruel condition ( a form of muscular dystrophy ) affects the brain as well as the body. It turns out that my DIL also has the adult form of which no one was aware and her eldest daughter, there are three, has been tested and has child-onset and we have watched her deteriorate mentally in the last two years, she is ten, so that she now has special needs provision. The middle daughter so far seems unaffected but has not been genetically tested so fingers crossed. It is so shocking. Sorry to burden you all with this.
I’d have loved to see them this Easter, in fact spending the five days alone is bloody hard, but DIL says they have other plans. She has just posted up pictures of them at her parents house. It does hurt but on the other hand she is coping very well and I’m glad the kids have other devoted grandparents. She is their only child. My son is obviously brilliant.

My daughter who lives nearby has not had children and she is great company in the every day ( but not holidays they are for husband) and I have got a new grandog, a poodle called Dandelion and he constantly makes us laugh.
Because it is so true that you have no control over what life deals you, only how you deal with it. It’s a mixed bag, a curates egg, I am both extremely lucky for which I am grateful and extremely unlucky for which I grieve. I have lost two husbands and many friends to death. I miss them madly. I sometimes have panic attacks when I get out if breathe which I avoid like anything and hope for a peaceful death.
I sat with my mum as she was dying and she took my hand put it to her cheek and said ‘you’re very kind, but you can’t come with me’ that gives me so much happiness because I wasn’t always kind and I’m so glad she thought it wanted to go with her.
I hope I’ll be kind on my deathbed because it means so much to the living. It’s strange isn’t it that we can enjoy the world, through pictures, films and art and literature of the time we were not born. But have no access of what that world will be like when we are dead. A one way trip.

I am seventy in the summer. I was sad to hear of so many people who are struggling with ill health or anxiety, but have been hugely cheered by so many positive and uplifting posts: thank you ?

My DH and I are still 18 in our heads! Our bodies tell us different!

Like you Framilode I am 75. My husband and I still go out to pubs and meet up with friends, who are form our local U3A every week. We still meet up with two or three other sets of friends for drinks , maybe a meal, maybe to watch live music. But this is something that we have done all of our lives, no change there. BUT— it takes time and trouble to keep standards up. I get my long hair coloured highlighted and trimmed every couple of months, I still dress fashionably, and see that my husband does I still wear face and eye make up etc, I feel tired most days, but still mind our two grandaughters age 8 and 10 years once each week. My husband has kidney failure, and has had for the past 20 years , but is kept as well as possible with 12 or so tablets each day. What I am trying to say I suppose is whatever life throws at you, make the best of it and be your best. Keep in touch with people, because it’s people that are important to your quality of life ( sorry post is so long, I got carried away somewhat)

70 and thankfully made it thus far.
Health could be better but NHS has been wonderful. We, husband and myself, were I complete lockdown during the COVID pandemic. That’s 2 years we’ll not get back. We still don’t go to crowded areas or where others are not sensibly distancing. I do think the lockdown has aged me.
I still work from home and do voluntary work from home too. Zoom etc has been wonderful but I miss being in contact with others.
Often my thoughts are drawn to my funeral. I’d like a family only funeral. Cheap as possible. I’ve thought of a pre paid funeral and wonder what others think of this idea. Presently money is not a problem and my thoughts are if my money runs out if I’m put in a Care Home.
I’m frugal and have all I need. My body is letting me down and I don’t want my family to be without their inheritance.

Oh, well - there are advantages to getting old!
I just had this from a sibling ?:

Oh my word, I’ve just come back to this thread after a busy couple of days and am so pleased to see so many new posts which I’ll read when I have a moment. I saw my dear 91 year old mum yesterday; she’s in reasonable health and is a real inspiration to me. As one of you said, I can spend the next 20 years worrying about ageing (I’m 64) or try and make the most of the time I have left.

Love that T shirt, Maru - my feelings exactly!

Thank you LaCrepescule, interesting topic.

According to my Birthday cards I am 80. Which I find bizarre! (One of them actually said “aged to perfection “. I wish!). I am really lucky. I still have my lovely Husband (aged 86). We are both in reasonable health apart from the aches and joint twinges of old age and the eyesight could be sharper. Like most others some dear old friends have died. These days we are more likely to count the cards we don’t get, rather than the ones we do. We both enjoy reading and pottering in the garden and our son has just called to suggest a barbecue this evening.

As I have said already, we are very lucky.

I'm 82, and lucky to be in pretty good health. I've slowed down a bit, mainly due to Covid, I think.
I live alone since my DH died 6 years ago, but have a son and daughter living nearby who give the odd helping hand, if required. I'm currently visiting my other 3 'children' in Australia, having travelled alone, and hope it won't be my last trip over. Only time will tell if I remain fit enough.
Like most of the other posters it's not the thought of dying that bothers me, but the manner of it. I also dread the thought of being dependent, and especially developing dementia. My plan is to just drop in my tracks, one day.
Keeping active and mixing with people of all ages, singing in a choir helps to keep me going, I think.

I’ll be 70 next year and have been seriously ill several times.

What I have noticed this year is that my husband (he’s ten years younger than me) and my children are being more intentional about spending time with me because we’re all aware that the clock is ticking. We’re fairly pragmatic and know that death comes to us all, so I think it’s a consideration, but not a worry. (Although I just discovered that my daughter was inconsolable during my recent hospital visit, so that’s not to say I won’t be missed - my family are all very fond of me.)

I would like to live long enough to see my youngest child married and my children’s families complete. I’ve talked to my grandsons aged 12 and 9 and discussed with them what they will tell the younger grandchildren about me, if they grow up without knowing me. The eldest child said he’d tell them that I was great at reading stories and poems, baking cakes and giving the best hugs. The younger one said he’d tell them I discovered lots of things about our family history and I had good rules to help good behaviour. “Oh yes, and I’ll tell them granny listens properly when you tell her stuff.”

As an epitaph, that’ll do for me. ?

Bijou

I shall be 99 next month. Lost my beloved husband 34 years ago. Have been alone since. Travelled abroad alone until my early 80s. Live alone with an hour’s help each morning Do my own cooking. Had cancer twice, Mobility problems because of osteoarthritis in knees.

??????

Madeleine45 you are an inspiration.

I too think about dying, how it will happen as well as not being alive any longer. I feel sad that I won't be there to see my children and grandchildren. That makes me very sad.
I believe in God and that helps. But I am only human.
I try not to think about it too much because there's no point. It won't change anything.
I think of how lucky I have been to live to this age and to have had all the wonderful times with all my family. Many people aren't so lucky. And just try to make the most of each day.
MooMoo I'm sorry you find it so difficult. I think talking to someone about your fears might help.

At the beginning of May I shall be 78. Yes, I can get quite morose about death and how my end will be.Most of the time inside me is about 55, the outside tells a different tale. This year I shall probably be having an operation, but only if the surgeon is confident about it. My main fear is being a living cabbage, as such I shall have DNR in my notes.

madeline45 I love your post so not feeling sorry for yourself. It puts me to shame. Well done. Hope you go on enjoying life for many years yet c

Lovely post franbern.

I lost my husband at 28. Quite suddenly I have had stage 3 cancer at 60 and am now 67 every day I worry will it come back will I get weaker and be a burden. I’m looking after 90 year old mother who constantly nags and puts me down so I can’t go and do what I would like to do in my older years. Yes I do wonder where it will end so I bury my head in a book or film each day and live my life through fiction sad isn’t it

I am 76 years old , had cancer 20 years ago and managed to get through that, but now have cancer for a second time, but my bad back causes me more everyday problems, and the lack of sleep tends to take its toll. My husband died over 4 years ago and I moved to this ground floor flat last year. Mentally I dont feel much different to 40 years ago, but of course physically do have some problems, but I try to go swimming twice a week, which is both exercise and helps my back and also lets me meet others. I still drive and am happy to go anywhere , love to see the yellow garden book gardens and the nat trust and rhs gardens when I am up to it. Sing in two choirs, involved in Swaledale festival , very keen reader , follow mastermind and only connect and have just taken up learning Bridge. I seem to work on a basis that the future goes on and on, when I think of what I would like to do, but my physical self frustrates me sometimes, when I cant do things on my own. Am very independant and hope to do my own thing as long as possible and hope that I can live here for as long as possible listening to my opera and at least when you are on your own you can make your own choice in things like when and what you eat and where you go. I have loved my family and been happy to share and do things others wanted to do rather than my choice, but now I am making that a plus that as I am on my own, if I am awake at 5am, I go out quietly not to disturb neighbours but it can be lovely to be out early in the morning and have the place to myself . One bad patch with my back I made the best of a bad job by arriving at the seaside by about 7am, and enjoyed the beach to myself and listened to birds etc and then came home about lunchtime feeling I had had the best of the day. wont always be like this I know but for now keeping going.

I turned 70 in January, I am really pleased to hear other views on this subject. Since being 70 I am quite healthy but feel really old, I cannot believe how time is flying by. I am really frightened of death, I have a death phobia that I have had since I was 16. I seem to think about it everyday just lately. In the pastI used to have horrendous panic attacks. If anyone has any advice to give me I would be very grateful.

Late 50's, mother has dementia and I just feel what's the poibt, don't want to be too old and have dementia. It's a horrible condition. I'd rather die in my prime.