I’m quite disturbed about this, is it acceptable?

I would do the same regarding the talc and cream; no point making hard work for everyone.
But, ultimately whatever the circumstances surrounding larger items, the home needs to show they are crystal clear and above suspicion, as well as protecting your mum's interests.

Yes, I think that she wants to treat the carer, but the carer must know because mum called her into her room and got her to show me the product on her phone.

It's possible your mum has just got it into her head that she wants to treat the carer, and the carer is unaware of any of this.

It is the homes duty to keep adequate and clear records, and to manage issues like this, so they are blame free, and clear in their dealings with vulnerable people.

Not nice to think what may or not be going on, could there be a carer(s) making suggestions of what they would like receive possibly not only to your mother but also to other residents ? I do hope not but this really has to be run past the management.

I confess MissA that when I take in talc and face cream as I did yesterday I just take it straight up to her room.
They did log all her belongings when she first arrived. I’ve taken in more of her clothes since but all have been named and returned to her.
It is a beautiful home. I don’t want to cause trouble, but this alcohol thing worries me.

Yes Ilovecheese my mother has tried to manipulate me all my life and you’re correct that on top of the problem regarding the carer today, she is constantly asking for other things. I don’t think they’re for the carer, I think that my husband is correct (he knows her well) in that she’s trying to exercise control over me, to ensure I’m always having to get something or other for her. The money worries me. When she went into the home she insisted on keeping £100 in her purse. They didn’t want her to as there’s no need to buy anything in the home. Even hairdressing is adding to the monthly account and paid from her bank, simply no need to buy anything. So where’s £100 gone? Maybe she’s given her grandsons a bit when they’ve visited but I can’t imagine where else it has gone. Her memory is poor so she probably wouldn’t remember.

Anything bought in for your mum should be logged by the home, in writing.

Thank you Shandy. This really has quite disturbed me today.

This is totally against the rules. You should speak to the manager.

You probably need to be careful, in case your mum is fabricating things (either intentionally or not) but ask what the policy is regarding gifts; it will be clearly labelled and kept in the office for any staff to access.

This has made me wonder, are all the things you have been buying going to this 'carer'?

What I think s not acceptable is your mother asking too much of you and your dil. Your husband is correct isn't he.

Thanks MissA.
Apparently my mum asked her what she likes to drink and that was what she said. My mum doesn’t drink alcohol at all any longer.

To cover themselves, the home should have a note and risk assessments covering your mum trying to buy them things, and they will also have clearly set out policies and procedures regarding gifts.

disciplined even.

So the carer showed you the bottle on her phone? How does she expect a resident paying £££'s for her care to afford a gift like that? I feel angry on your behalf, this carer needs to be discplined.

No, I can't imagine any home where this would be acceptable.
Did the carer confirm that the drink was for her, or does she assume it's your mums tipple?