Sorry question about sex with newish partner

This reminds me very much of a former poster of the same age, single, boyfriend troubles, who had literary usernames …

Yes, I’m also your age and my partner is older.
I came on to say, if you don’t feel like having sex with him don’t do it! You don’t owe anyone that.

Ps I should add that I applaud the OP for raising this topic. We don’t all have someone we can discuss these things with and this is a safe and anonymous space to ask for advice about personal matters. It’s not compulsory to read the posts!

All I can say is that I have some experience with this situation. The answer is to make a GP appointment ( I know that’s very difficult.) You should go together to this appointment. I think you will both be pleasantly surprised by the doctor’s reaction. They’ve heard this many times before! If your partner isn’t willing to go down this route then he isn’t interested in investing in the relationship.

Are you using a condom? because that will reduce the stimulation during sex.
Are you an “enthusiastic” partner or passive, I’m your age OH is older, for us, as my intensity rises it triggers him, then I climax. For younger men it’s more of a “mechanical “ process, I think for older men it’s much more emotional.
I also find sex once a week “better” than twice, quality better than quantity.

I don’t think he’s ever had a PSA Esspee. No children Bluebelle and you’re right, everyone is different. I know I’ll be pretending I enjoy sex when I know it won’t lead to the usual scenario of man having an orgasm. Don’t know whether I should settle; he’s a good man in other ways but don’t know if I love him (he says he loves me). It’s nice to have someone in my life at age 64 after so many years single though....

Well unfortunately the only people who can solve this is you and him
Whatever anyone else’s sex life is like is diddle squit for you and your boyfriend that’s what I mean laC if he’s not satisfying you and doesn’t want to address it and it bothers you then there’s only one way to go

Some men like some women have a higher/lower sex drive than others ……does he have children? You say it was a problem in his last relationship so it’s not you is it ?

You don’t mention the word love

When did your partner last have a PSA test LaCrepescule?
It could well be a health issue so he needs to see a doctor.

The fact that he is able to have an erection shows he desires you so I wouldn’t worry on that score. Does he love you enough to go to the doctor is what you need to ask him.

Same username, too, before anyone gets their knickers (ooh matron!) in a twist.

The site glitched!
It showed an error and wouldn't post for a minute or two.
It is ok to talk about sex, you know?

I suppose all the advice is textbook stuff.
Make sure you're both relaxed, and all that kind of thing.
Obviously he does want to, or he would give up trying..

If you look up thread crazyH you’ll see I made a mistake.

Two threads - same topic - different username. Someone is playing games???

Just getting more demoralised the longer it goes on MissAdventure. I need to feel desired even at my age!

Perhaps he is just out of practice.
7 months isnt that long, really.

He’s been single two years MissAdventure but hadn’t had a sex life with his previous partner for many years apparently.

No, I don't think it's unreasonable to think it should happen, but humans are a complex lot.

How long has he been single?
Is he a widower?

Sorry perhaps I should put it another way; AIBU to expect that reasonably fit and healthy 59 year old man should be able to orgasm with a new partner?

At a loss as to what you mean Bluebelle

Well for me, that's easily answered

No.

Or perhaps it’s our problem if we answer this
My question is ladies, do you and your man have a full sex life

He says it’s psychological but I’m at a loss as to how we tackle this. He says it doesn’t bother him and that he desires me but I don’t feel desirable anymore because of it.

I suppose the thing to do would be to rule out any physical reason.
If there's not, then perhaps a psychological reason might be the culprit.

Really !!!

The site glitched.