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What would you do if your home help was caught stealing?

(51 Posts)
llizzie2 Mon 19-Sep-22 00:39:45

In 2020 while my usual carer was away I employed a local cleaning lady for two weeks. I trusted her with my key. She was coming in while I was asleep and leaving before I woke up. She did not do the cleaning. One day the washing machine finishing woke me, and I watched as she sorted through my stuff. I had already noted things missing, but you cannot say anything because you have to prove you had the thing in the first place, and you get the same ''all old people think you are stealing from them'' so I said nothing, but told her not to come any more.
Last week I discovered that she had left the old people's home where she worked part time and set herself up in business as a cleaner. I cannot say anything, of course, no proof, but it breaks my heart to know that there are those who desperately need a home help and I cannot tell them.

lemsip Fri 23-Sep-22 15:10:55

an 85 yr old neighbour in hospital after a fall was transferred to a care home prior to going home.... his wallet was 'lost' by the hospital and took 3 weeks to be found and put back in his possession. ... he is at home where he lives alone now and has 3 different carers go in daily. He rang me in a panic the other day saying he couldn't find his bank card and wondering which one may have taken it..... I told him to take his time and reminded him he had used it to pay for online shopping at sainsburys sure enough he rang back having found it in a different section of his wallet!

Leapingminnow Fri 23-Sep-22 10:52:13

To add another slant to this chat, when my mum was in a residential home with dementia, a brooch which she particularly loved and insisted on taking with her, disappeared. In that instance, it was impossible to know who had taken it as other people with dementia would go into other people's bedrooms and go through their stuff. It must make it easy for an unscrupulous person to nick stuff though and blame it on the residents. I certainly thought that was the case here. So please, if your relative needs to go into care, don't send anything of value, even if it's just sentimental value, with them - you risk losing it.

sazz1 Fri 23-Sep-22 00:24:34

I worked for an agency first and had a DBS check there and lots of training with certificates.
I decided I would like to be registered self employed when the agency closed down. I put an ad on gumtree for relief live in PA carer for 2 weeks maximum. Had a frantic phone call from a disabled lady to come the next day. Took a file with me with current DBS and all training certificates.
Walked into the home as she gave me her keylock number over the phone. She asked me to go shopping immediately, gave me a list, her car was outside, gave me her car keys, bank card, and pin number. My suitcase and file was still in my car parked around the corner.
The supermarket was 45 minutes away as she lived alone in a rural location.
What did she know about me? The first name I gave her, and my mobile number. That's it. No address, no car reg, it could have been a temporary sim number, not even my surname. Nothing to stop me moving her car, jumping in mine and spending well on her card, withdrawing cash etc.
When I got to know her better I explained to her that she should check people and look up on electoral roll, know their address, car reg, ask for DBS photo to be sent, etc
She said I saw what you spent in the supermarket as I have online banking, so there's no need!!!!

.

chris8888 Thu 22-Sep-22 11:46:40

I would set up a camera and have a key lock outside the door so they need to put key back every time. I have worked in Adult Care Services for many years and sadly abuse is common place. You really need to go through an agency which has proper checks in place, although more expensive can the lady down the road really be trusted.

MissAdventure Thu 22-Sep-22 11:44:28

My mums purse was stolen by someone who was working for the agency social services recommended to go in to her.

It broke my heart seeing her crying when we realised what had happened.
Her purse was found dumped a mile or so away, laying in the mud.

sparkynan Thu 22-Sep-22 11:40:25

If anyone who employs a cleaner/care and they steal from them, they or their family should report them to the police and the social services and possibly age uk. Thieves will steal again and again if they think they can get way with it.

Gabrielle56 Thu 22-Sep-22 08:50:52

Whiff

llizzie2 you can contact the health department and the police anonymously as she would have had to gone through checks to be able to work in people's homes . Also she would have registered as either a sole trader or limited company to run her own business. As she needs to pay tax and NI.

You can do it via letter,email or phone call. Whichever you feel comfortable with.

I think you're getting ahead of things .here. nobody needs any checks before setting up in business. I can create a one-man band cleaning business right now if I so chose. Get business cards printed, get relatives to give glowing references. Don't have to register with anyone and don't have to either declare earnings orr pay tax if I so chose also. CRB checks are done when working with children/vulnerable adults and they only show so some who's actually been caught and convicted of crime, not those who have dodged the bullets! The bottom line is: hire on personal recommendation or via a reputable agency only, otherwise hirer beware!

jerseygirl Wed 21-Sep-22 19:31:51

Please do something even if its anonymous. She should not be allowed to get away with this again.

MerylStreep Wed 21-Sep-22 18:49:14

4alleeknow
I’ve cleaned in a care home. I was checked.

Sueki44 Wed 21-Sep-22 18:21:31

Both my mother-in-law and godmother lost jewellery. I was suspicious when I visited my godmother and her cleaner had brought her mother with her! A great deal of jewellery disappeared! I’m planning to give away most of my stuff so people that I love can enjoy it!

2420mags Wed 21-Sep-22 18:19:41

This happened to my mother.My sister uncovered the fraud and went to the Police. My mother then tried to back out so the police treated her as a vulnerable person and took on the investigation. Mum had kept detailed books of her expenses and cheques cashed by the Bank were obviously not in her hand. As a family we are very grateful to East Sussex Police who secured a conviction and the woman got a 2 year custodial sentence. It was not her first conviction and her partner was using my mothers garage to store stolen goods. Sadly l am sure she will set up working with the elderly again. We were lucky as mum did not have dementia so could remember and be a credible witness. She also died before the case came to court but she had been interviewed on video. The only mistake she made was not making sure this woman had a current DBS check. She refused to check because this woman had worked for a neighbour. The bank paid back the best part of 60k that had been obtained by fraudulently signed cheques but much more had been taken including jewelry, silver and paintings. l have no doubt that this woman will have set up somewhere else and is fleecing the elderly. The demand for help is so great

Bijou Wed 21-Sep-22 18:05:00

My mothers carer stole from her so she just dismissed her.
A friend had a carer from a so called reputable company. She
Did not do the cleaning. She asked to go to the toilet. Being a long time my friend went to look for her. She was in the bedroom searching in the wardrobe. As other clients had complained she was prosecuted.
Fortunately my helpers have been well known in the village for many years and are trustworthy.

Curlywhirly Wed 21-Sep-22 17:16:43

My MIL's health took a turn for the worse, and after being in a care home for 5 years she was transferred to a nursing home. She was only in there for a few weeks before she sadly died. The week before she died we noticed that the staff had fixed her wedding and engagement rings to her finger with a plaster - she had lost weight and her rings had become loose, so they did this to keep them in place. The day she died the rings had disappeared. The nurse who was with her when she died was certain that the rings would have been placed in the office safe and duly went off to retrieve them. Sadly they were not there. She did seem genuinely upset and said she was mortified. My DH didn't want to report it, he was coming to terms with losing his Mum and just didn't want the hassle. We hoped the nurse reported it, but we will never know. She did say it would be hard to prove who had stolen the rings; there was a large turnover of staff and so many were 'Bank' staff, some of which only ever came once and moved to other homes,
If I was looking for a care home one of the questions I would be asking is what the turnover of staff was. My MIL had no problems with theft in her original care home; the staff were all regulars who we got to know over the years. It beggars belief that people would steal from the dying.

Frogs Wed 21-Sep-22 16:56:01

My mother didn’t have much luck with her cleaners or gardener either. She had the same gardener for 20 years - my mum kept telling me he was as straight as a dye. The gardener recommended his daughter as a cleaner for my mother who had dementia in her later years, we found the gardener had been charging my mother over and over for jobs he had done as she couldn’t recall paying him. By time we realised this the gardener was seriously ill and subsequently died so we couldn’t do anything.
Then my mother noticed that his daughter had stolen her debit card from the sideboard and found my mothers pin as she had written it on a piece of paper. She had withdrawn £200 - of course she denied any knowledge but was sacked.
So we employed cleaners through an agency - all went ok for a while although they only really ran the vacuum round the middle, then after about a year the neighbours told us that the cleaners were just turning up then leaving after 5 minutes. Of course my mum had no idea of how long they’d been there.
We never did get to the bottom of how her current bank account got to be cleaned out. My mother had been withdrawing money every day - where it all went we will never know.
It’s a sad and scary world we live in.

Sago Wed 21-Sep-22 16:39:02

Delila My sentiments exactly!

This I’m sure is another wind up!

However I think we should all recognise the thousands of honest, hardworking cleaners and carers who get paid a pittance yet do their job with care and compassion.

My late mother accused lots of people of stealing from her, myself included.
She misplaced lots of things and blamed everyone except herself.

Esmay Wed 21-Sep-22 16:34:18

Please report her .

This has happened to us :

It usually begins with little things - like tea bags , dishwasher tablets and chocolate and then it escalates to money and jewellery .

The last lot of carers stole linen .
I don't have any now .

Romola Wed 21-Sep-22 16:20:39

Thank you for this thread. My lovely DH is receiving palliative care in a care home but we are planning to get him home with a care package. Your experiences and advice are timely.

B9exchange Wed 21-Sep-22 16:05:16

My father employed a cleaner when my mother's depression, Parkinsons and finally dementia got too much. He also paid her to come and do a bit of cleaning for us as we were both out at work for long hours, he would drive her over in his car after she had done his cleaning. We noticed odd things like CDs going missing, but nothing to connect with her. Then one day my father collected his pension whilst she was there and put it in his office drawer. When he went to get some of it an hour later, whilst she was still there, it was missing. He challenged her, she denied it, but he told her not to come again.

Only when we were checking my mother's jewellery, which she was not allowed in the nursing home, did we find that this woman had taken all of it, including some family heirlooms over a hundred years old. We told the police, giving them her address, but they refused to even talk to her, saying there was no proof.

Delila Wed 21-Sep-22 15:48:54

A cleaner who “did not do the cleaning”, who came and went whilst you were sleeping? That sounds like a very risky arrangement.

TanaMa Wed 21-Sep-22 15:37:08

My dear grandmother, in her 90s, had someone come in twice a week to do a little 'light' cleaning - mostly the bathroom and kitchen. I was the only family member left and lived over a 4 hr drive away. I paid this person but found she was also charging my grandmother! She did belong to an Agency so they dealt with the situation after I informed them of the matter.

fluttERBY123 Wed 21-Sep-22 15:17:58

I would say to eg the cleaning company that you feel fairly sure there was theft but have no proof. You are just warning them in.case they get similar complaints from.others.

4allweknow Wed 21-Sep-22 15:08:06

Doubt if employed as a cckeaner there would be any need for official checks to be done. Different if employed as a carer of any kind would expect vetting to be completed for individuals. As the person has set up a "caring" business she herself may not need checks but anyone she employs in the role of carer I woukd inagine will need checks carried out. If you know the home the cleaner was employed by think I woukd contact them and express your concerns. They may well have their own concerns about her. Sure any official registration body may be interested in your concerns too. Wonder what she will expect from her employees- honesty hopefully!

Gin Wed 21-Sep-22 15:01:35

My MIL had dementia but was living at home with carers. She used to tell me when I visited the sad tales of woe one of the younger carers told and that Mum had given her money. She became very upset when I suggested these stories might not be true as the girl was regarded as a friend. She was a good carer and spent longer with Mum than she was paid for so we let it go, it was not much as Mum only had her pension. Perhaps we should have mentioned it but Mum was happy and previous carers had been, well, uncaring!

nannypiano Wed 21-Sep-22 14:42:38

I feel that DBS checks of course are good, but just because no crime has been committed in the past, doesn't mean that the person in future is clear of theft. I f someone was desperate for money and thought they wouldn't be found out it must be very tempting to steal. There must be lots of instances where people don't report a theft, so never gets reported.

62Granny Wed 21-Sep-22 14:41:23

I doubt very much if she has formally set herself up as a company, she is probably just put herself up as a cleaner using either word of mouth or using social media. She probably doesn't even have a DBS check or if she does it one she had while working in the care home. You say you have heard she is doing private cleaning did you mention to that person that she done some cleaning for you and you were not very happy with the service she provided and you would not recommend her. No need to elaborate but word of mouth with non recommendation goes a long way.