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My son has moved to Australia

(15 Posts)
Nannie4nanna Sun 06-Nov-22 15:23:52

Hi there. I have never used this site. So hopefully i am doing it right?
My son and his wife and 3 children have moved to Australia. I seem to be loosing Regular contact with them, and it is becoming less and less. Has anybody else experienced this please? Xx

grannyactivist Sun 06-Nov-22 15:54:40

Hello Nannie4nanna and welcome to GN.

My daughter and her husband moved to NZ many years ago and in the beginning contact was a bit all over the place as they settled in and established their home and jobs.

After a while we got into a pattern of contact that includes FaceTime calls, WhatsApp messages and occasional phone calls. I think if you can be flexible in your approach and use whatever media is available to you then there's no reason why some regular contact shouldn't be maintained. smile

Doodledog Sun 06-Nov-22 16:14:48

Hello, Nannie4nanna, and welcome.

My brother is in Australia, although neither of my children have emigrated, yet at least.

You have my sympathy, as I'm sure it must be very difficult to have a child so far away, but the world is smaller than it's ever been. Maybe visits can't happen often, but Skype/Facetime calls can be the next best thing.

I sometimes wish that my children lived closer (they are both over 120 miles away in different directions, which means that visits have to be planned, and take up a day, rather than being able to see them for an hour or so as would be easy if they lived nearby), but in the end we all have to find ways to make the best of what we've got.

My brother speaks to my mum every week at a prearranged time, so it always happens, and she has seen her grandchildren grow up that way, in between visits.

Chin up. I know it must be very difficult, but you can take comfort in the fact that your son and your grandchildren will have a lovely lifestyle over there, I'm sure.

lixy Sun 06-Nov-22 16:28:03

Hello Nanna4nanna and welcome to GransNet.
It is so tricky maintaining that long distance communication. My brother moved abroad many years ago and we use e-mail. I agree with Doodledog that setting a pre-arranged regular time to phone is a good way of keeping it up. I also pop a photo or a note into the post for my nieces and nephews every now and then - every one loves getting proper post. Sometimes I get a letter back!

NotTooOld Sun 06-Nov-22 16:37:14

Wise words from Doodledog.
Not sure I would want to get into having prearranged times for calls etc as I would panic if it didn't happen.
My children are a good few miles from me although not as for as Australia but, just like you, I sometimes feel we are losing touch, so perhaps it is not distance that counts.

BlueBelle Sun 06-Nov-22 17:00:55

Hi nanna4nanna and welcome ….my son and then girlfriend went to look round NZ 26 years ago They never returned I knew they wouldn’t, they got married out there had two children and have been there ever since Done very well for themselves and have a great lifestyle
We made a decision to phone every Sunday morning and we chat for about half an hour unless either of us is away or busy and we can be quite loose about it so there is no problem at all if we miss, as we use messenger for free calls and just let each other know if we are out or unable to be there It suits me it’s before I go out anywhere and for them just before they go to bed
My daughter in law does most of the talking (I mean that in a nice way) Now the grandkids are grown and flown I don’t hear much from them
A non rearranged time wouldn’t suit us at all as I d be not wanting to go out in case I missed a call etc
My youngest daughter lives in Europe much closer but is MUCH more haphazard about calls and much less ‘chatty’ I usually get a ‘are you ok’ ‘yes I m fine’ ‘great’😳
My third lives in my town and texts or calls every day to make sure I m ok we talk it all through
I d definitely recommend a pre arranged call with plenty of leeway if not around

Smileless2012 Sun 06-Nov-22 18:01:19

Welcome to GN Nannie4nanna. Our eldest son has been living in Australia for almost 8 years now. As we are estranged from our only other son and GC, it's been particularly hard for us him being so far away.

grannyactivist is right, it takes time for them to settle and establish regular contact times. We face time one another on a weekly or fortnightly basis but remember when he first went how contact was a bit hit and miss to begin with.

Try not to worry, when they've settled in hopefully you'll find that regular contact is the order of the day. flowers.

Yammy Sun 06-Nov-22 18:15:59

Welcome Nannie4nanna.
One of my children went abroad before they were married and lived away for a considerable time. When babies came along we Face timed a lot at the same time every day, then things got more flexible.
Now they are in England they message and send photos and ask if I want a chat on facetime, no set day or time no guilty feelings if it goes a fortnight.
The other remained in England and usually one or other facetime on a weekend. Again no fixed time.
I remember my mother insisted I phone every Sunday and conformed until I realized she was boasting about it to friends and family and I stopped. I randomly contacted her and let mine do the same.
Families are still family even if they are on the other side of the world bonds and love are still there.

Nannie4nanna Mon 07-Nov-22 13:26:16

Hi and Thankyou for your reply.
We had lots of facetime and messages at first, at least ever 3 to 4 days. But it is getting further apart, I guess after 2 years I should be used to it by now.
The Grandchildren are getting older , And they are getting into a routine themselves too. It is Just Hard sometimes... Looking at their life and photo's they are Super Happy and HEALTHY... xx
This is why i joined this site. Just for a chat... hope that is Ok xx

Nannie4nanna Mon 07-Nov-22 13:36:16

Awww Thankyou for your reply. So facetime and messages are Ok every fortnight..
Phew i was thinking it was Too long. I am Worrying too much arn't I. It is lovely to know their are so many other Nana's / grandmas in this position too.
Sorry about your Estranged Son xx flowers

Doodledog Mon 07-Nov-22 22:19:40

Of course it's ok to just have a chat.

There are lots of chat threads, and plenty of others with more obvious subjects, so have a poke around and see what appeals.

Grammaretto Mon 07-Nov-22 22:46:09

Emigration should perhaps be a forum?
My DS2 and family are out in NZ. I've seen them about 6 times in 15 years.
But I don't begrudge them their life choices.
We do WhatsApp calls frequently, occasional zoom, and daily family chat texts. Plenty of photos too
We are so much better off than previous generations aren't we.

nanna8 Tue 08-Nov-22 06:37:16

When I rang my Mum and Dad in the UK in the 1970s it used to cost an absolute fortune and then they brought in phone cards which improved things. Now it is much, much better than it was. Is actually got on a lot better with some of our relatives from a distance and we talked a lot more in the end so there are positives, however slight.

Grammaretto Tue 08-Nov-22 09:35:54

Most of my friends have DC in other countries. Admittedly it has been hard throughout covid and also when there are big family events where people can't attend.
We always encouraged ours to travel, go on school exchanges, take jobs involving travel so it would be surprising if they decided to stay near their parents all their lives.

When DS2 left he did say it might not be forever so the door was left open a chink.

I even know of a couple who followed their son to Australia when in their 80s. Not sure if that would be easy nowadays.

Norah Tue 08-Nov-22 14:01:21

Our daughters mobiles have some way that whilst they speak they can be looking at each other. Perhaps that would be helpful, if you have mobiles?