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How do I prove this?

(45 Posts)
hybrid1000 Wed 16-Nov-22 17:06:12

My 6 year old Autistic Grandson told his Teacher, Headmistress, and MAST Worker that his Mum and other Grandma were hitting him and shouting at him all the time, and that he wanted to come and live with me, his Mum and other Grandma denied it, saying that he was lying, I backed him up and told MAST he wasn't lying because I have seen them hitting him on many occasions, they told me that they knew about the Abuse and were investigating it, but didn't have enough proof to be able to take any action yet, they asked if I had proof, I told them that I had Video Recorded it on my Phone, but they said that they couldn't use that evidence because Mum and other Grandma didn't know I was recording them, now I have been banned from seeing my Grandson for making "False Allegations", but they are not False Allegations, how can I prove that both me and my Grandson are telling the truth when they won't accept the proof that I have? How do I get proof?

tickingbird Thu 24-Nov-22 07:47:56

I’d advise contacting your MP. Contacting as many people as possible as there have been so many dreadful cases where authorities have refused when grans have had concerns they may take notice. You should not be stopped from seeing your grandson as it will be detrimental to him as well as upsetting for you. You have my sympathy as you must be so concerned. Good luck.

Ali08 Thu 24-Nov-22 02:30:24

See a solicitor ad go for grandparents rights!!

25Avalon Sat 19-Nov-22 22:04:37

Great minds think alike Madgran77. They will chat through your worries at least.

Madgran77 Sat 19-Nov-22 21:13:21

25Avalon

Madgran77 I already suggested NSPCC and included their free phone number further back.

Sorry missed that

hybrid1000 Fri 18-Nov-22 13:26:56

FarNorth Yes, I think I need to go and see my MP, like you said, I don't know if he would be able to help, but if I don't ask I won't know, it's worth a shot.

hybrid1000 Fri 18-Nov-22 13:23:53

FarNorth The injuries haven't gone unnoticed, but whenever anyone asks her how he got his injuries she always says that he is very clumsy and tripped or fell, and if he tries to tell anyone what really happened she will call him a liar, I have evidence of her doing this, the incident I mentioned before when he banged into the Radiator injuring his shoulder after being slapped, (on that occasion it was his other Grandma who had slapped him), that happened during a Video Call with me, but his Mum claimed that Grandma was "nowhere near him when he fell", and that "she did not hurt him", even though he can clearly be heard on the Video Recording saying that Grandma caused him to fall and hurt himself.
And unfortunately they always seem to believe her explanation.

FarNorth Fri 18-Nov-22 13:08:15

Perhaps your son fears being seen as a troublemaker and creating more problems for himself?
Trying to get him involved doesn't seem a very hopeful strategy.

Why not consult your MP? I don't know if they can help but it can't harm to ask, as you've done here.

hybrid1000 Fri 18-Nov-22 12:35:01

welbeck No I haven't approached my MP yet, though someone did suggest that to me a few days ago, I have been trying to negotiate via a third person with my Son and his ex Partner as a first step, but that is getting me nowhere.

Do you really think my MP could help me?

hybrid1000 Fri 18-Nov-22 12:29:58

welbeck
No, I can't afford a Solicitor right now.

But I do have a History of caring for him, both my Grandson and his Mum lived with me for the first 4 years of his life due to his Mum having Mental Health Issues.

As for why the Professionals have no concerns, your guess is as good as mine, especially since MAST told me that they believed my Grandson and were trying to get enough evidence to be able to do something about it.

His Father on the other hand, is fully aware that they are hitting his Son, but he is simply choosing to ignore the problem, Mum and other Grandma told him that the other Grandma "Hit him once and has regretted it ever since", and even though I have told him that this is not the case and have proof that they are lying, he is choosing to believe them.

welbeck Fri 18-Nov-22 12:13:01

OP, have you tried approaching your local MP.

FarNorth Fri 18-Nov-22 12:08:01

How could all those injuries be unnoticed or discounted?

Why would more evidence be needed for police, just because some people have rejected it?
Surely the police can make their own decision about that?

Wouldn't hybrid1000 have a chance to get custody at least after some time of assessment?

There was a gran on here a few years ago whose grandson was in care because of a similar situation. It took her a long time but she did get custody of him in the end.

welbeck Fri 18-Nov-22 12:05:33

but he has already been interviewed by a MAST person, so it's pointless suggesting NSPCC/SS etc.
can you afford to engage a solicitor.
but realistically, you have to accept that if he were to be removed from their care, he would probably be placed with foster carers, or placed in a children's home, rather than with you.
do you have a history of involvement/caring with him.
it does sound strange that the professionals have no concerns, and also his father.
can you suggest why that might be.

25Avalon Fri 18-Nov-22 11:55:43

Madgran77 I already suggested NSPCC and included their free phone number further back.

Madgran77 Fri 18-Nov-22 11:45:32

Call the |NSPCC?

hybrid1000 Thu 17-Nov-22 18:52:53

welbeck Yes I am in England. She slaps him so hard that she has left Hand Prints and Bruises on his Skin, and has on many occasions slapped him so hard she has caused him to lose his balance and fall over, causing further injury as he falls because he then
(1) banged his head on a table, (causing a small cut on his scalp),
(2) fell down the stairs, (causing extensive bruising on his hand, arm, and back),
(3) banged into a Radiator, (causing him to injure his shoulder),
(4) went face first into a Door Frame, (causing him to split his lip)
And these are just a few examples off the top of my head, there have been many more times that the slaps knocked him off balance resulting in secondary injuries as he fell over due to the force of the slap.

hybrid1000 Thu 17-Nov-22 18:34:00

Madgran77 Because he committed a crime and spent 8 months in Prison for it, (Sorry, i'm not allowed to give more details than that).

welbeck Thu 17-Nov-22 16:07:17

in what way does she hit him ?
are you in england.

Madgran77 Thu 17-Nov-22 15:52:27

Why is it only supervised access?

Wyllow3 Thu 17-Nov-22 12:29:16

(As far as the police are concerned, it doesn't make a difference as to whether its sound or video, but since it has been investigated by other authorities already, and "turned down" you'd need more).

I really feel for you, you must miss him a lot.

After all the discussion above, I think your only way forward is very hard, but it's to try and reconcile with mum and other grandma.

For his sake.

Let some time pass first: if mum and grandma are unresponsive it may be possible to approach Social Services (not quite clear from above exactly how much they were involved) to try and "Broker peace". -or even the school?

Meanwhile do the ordinary things: cards, presents for Christmas at a low level. of course it may not work, but best option?

Lathyrus Thu 17-Nov-22 11:55:17

I’m really sorry to say this but if you are no longer seeing him and your son won’t act, I’m can’t see how you can get further proof.

With the “false allegations” recorded now anything further you do will now be regarded with a degree of suspicion as to your motives.

You do realise that if Social Services were to remove him from his present circumstances, it is very unlikely they would place him with you? It’s a rock and a hard place. His current situation or in care.

hybrid1000 Thu 17-Nov-22 11:46:20

Lathyrus Yes, unfortunately that is the case.

Lathyrus Thu 17-Nov-22 11:43:39

Oh dear. If it’s supervised access, presumably there have been some quite serious issues in the past and the mother has full custody?

hybrid1000 Thu 17-Nov-22 11:32:40

Lathyrus Yes, i am the Paternal Grandma, unfortunately my Son only has Supervised Access twice a week, and firmly believes that his Son is lying and his ex Partner is telling the truth, I have tried telling him that it is the other way round, and have even offered to show him the proof, but he won't watch the Videos, and refuses to believe me.

Lathyrus Thu 17-Nov-22 11:23:10

As a parent he has avenues.

Lathyrus Thu 17-Nov-22 11:22:42

I’m assuming you’re the paternal grandmother.

Really the child’s father is the one who has to take this forward. To apply to the courts for joint custody, if he has not already got it.

If he has then he can express concern and ask for an investigation into family circumstances.

As a parent he has sues that you, as a grandmother, do not have.