What's this all about

I would focus on the fact that improved contact with your former d.i.l. will make it easier for you to retain your relationship with your GC, as that will not be just at the behest of your son.

Maybe she regrets not having had much contact with you before and is trying to make amends, which can only be a good thing.

Maybe your ex DIL left the family celebration cards to your son and he didn’t send you any? Maybe it was also his job to ask you to go to various outings with the GCs?

Now that he has gone you are now on Her list.

I know that if I hadn’t sent cards to MrOops family they wouldn’t have had any for the last 51 years.

I agree, sounds like she's reaching out to you, which is a positive.

After my divorce I had the Paternal Grandad to stay 3 times a year (xmas including) so my children never lost out. He was
a very good Grandad(widower). I reached out to him to
continue being in the children's lives.

To me it sounds as if your former DIL is trying to ensure that your grandchildren are still able to have some kind of relationship with you, which is all to the good.

She may indeed be trying to make up for the past.

Accept gratefully.

Also she might need more of a hand with the GC but wants to avoid asking your DS every time? Make the most of it.

Maybe she felt, rightly in my opinion, that it was your sons' responsibility to buy and send cards to you and invite you to childrens shows and school events.

Now she has taken on the responsibility, very kind of her.

Theexwife

Maybe she felt, rightly in my opinion, that it was your sons' responsibility to buy and send cards to you and invite you to childrens shows and school events.

Now she has taken on the responsibility, very kind of her.

I had similar thoughts.

I agree with other posters about her thinking the responsibility of sending cards was your son's

Overall, a very positive development

Who cares? What matters is that she is reaching out to you, embrace her with warmth. Many women in your position find themselves with their ex-DiL doing everything to cut them off from their grandchildren. She is doing just the opposite.

What MOnica said. The improvement in your relationship with her will hopefully pay off with continued contact with your grandchildren.

Theexwife

Maybe she felt, rightly in my opinion, that it was your sons' responsibility to buy and send cards to you and invite you to childrens shows and school events.

Now she has taken on the responsibility, very kind of her.

Your son can't put your name in Xdil diary for the children's shows, sign cards she purchases. She's doing what's necessary for her children. Pity your son didn't pick up responsibility to you during his marriage.

I'd be really grateful that she has remained in contact and that you can develop a good strong relationship with her and your granchildren.. life is so short

once i'd got over the image of the GGM visiting when she had to and sitting playing on her phone the whole time...
my first thought of this changed behaviour was that the GC's mother is trying to keep them in with a chance of any inheritance.

Why welbeck? GP's may leave a token to their GC in their will but the bulk of inheritance usually goes to their children, not their GC.

nothing ventured, nothing gained.
none of us can know, but that's what occurred to me.
maybe i've been watching too much dickens.

Welbeck you seem to think that the motive you suggest is heinous, they are the OP's grandchildren, so why shouldn't their mother protect any inheritance?

But once again, does it matter. If it ensures harmony and a good relationship between ex DiL, grandchildern and their father's family. Whats not to like?