Wedding invite

I'm attending a wedding in May which thank goodness has no gaps.

The service is at 14.30 followed by the breakfast at a nearby venue, which then seamlessly merges into the evening reception of dancing, drinks, midnight snacks and finishes at 01.00.

I'll pace myself!

Sorry , but in my family that would be considered very rude. The ceremony is the important part. It would be perfectly acceptable to go to the breakfast and then leave and they are probably expecting you to do that, you don't see too many people in their 70s at a late night disco.

Yes, go to the ceremony as that’s the part that’s important to the couple.
Also it’s easier to slip away later on than making an entrance later on. Once things get into the swing your presence will probably not be so noticeable and that will make it easier to leave. I’m sure your nephew will understand.

I would choose not to drink so that you have the freedom to leave and drive when you’ve had enough.
Just do the best you can.

hilz

If the boogying and drinking is more important to you that attending the wedding can you not just tell them how lovely it is to be invited but you can only attend the evening disco. Perhaps they have not invited others that they may have wanted to because of number restrictions for the actual wedding and wedding breakfast. Enjoy it whatever you decide.

Good point Hilz. Just to turn up in the evening would be extremely rude unless you ask if that’s ok. The wedding breakfast will be expensive and the young couple may well have restricted numbers.

I think it would be rude to turn up for celebrations and not attend the service. I’d go to the ceremony then leave wedding breakfast half way through like others have said

I think there would have been a time when transport arrangements would have been arranged for those in their 70s and above. Reminds me when we were marooned in the centre of a market town at midnight after a young relative's wedding. All taxis were taken up by the young folk. We had to walk about two miles uphill to the hotel in the wee sma' hours...

Might add that if it were me I would hate to miss the ceremony and a chance to wish them well. Meet others celebrating the day with them and a nice meal speeches etc These days with all that there is to concider when planning weddings if someone cares enough to want me there I would move heaven and earth to be there. At weddings a lot leave before the very end of the days events so no one would think anything of it if I left a little early. The day wouldn't have been about me after all.

Phone your nephew and explain that neither of you are able any longer to keep going until midnight. Ask if he and his bride would mind if you came to the service and part of the wedding breakfast, leaving around 7 or 8 p.m. to drive home.

If he and his fiancée are all right with this, you will admittedly still have the time from the end of the wedding ceremony to the start of the breakfast.

I don't know how long that gap is, it depends very much on whether they are marrying before the registrar, or in church, where the length of the ceremony depends on the church.

As far as I recall most Protestant wedding take half to three-quarters of an hour, where a full Catholic nuptial mass takes around an hour and a half - I think mine lasted a full two hours.

If you can't afford the expense of a hotel room for a short rest before during the time-gap, you could, if the wedding is on a Saturday or a week-day go to the reading room of the nearest public library and sit there. It will be quiet there, or find a tea-room.

Are the no relatives of your nephew living near him, who might offer you house-room for a rest before the wedding breakfast?

Very rude to miss the cermony and then go to the breakfast and disco. Couple might think you are attending just for the food.

Surely being at your Nephew’s wedding ceremony is the most important part of the day to be present at. Then I’m sure you’d love seeing family at the wedding breakfast. By all means make your excuses following that part of the celebrations, or you could try a few hours at the evening do. Nobody will be upset if you head off mid evening. Enjoy seeing your Nephew marry!

If the boogying and drinking is more important to you that attending the wedding can you not just tell them how lovely it is to be invited but you can only attend the evening disco. Perhaps they have not invited others that they may have wanted to because of number restrictions for the actual wedding and wedding breakfast. Enjoy it whatever you decide.

GrannyGravy13

I would go to the ceremony, wedding breakfast and leave probably around 8/8.30pm

We have done this at a wedding and it worked well. we got a taxi back to where we were staying after the Wedding breakfast. .

Don’t miss the wedding service , as it starts at 1pm it will probably last about 30-40 minutes depending on the type of service. Photos another hour ! Once you’re done with the family photos go in and put your feet up in the lounge , if it’s a hotel they’ll have lots of places you can relax and perhaps get a cuppa…. We had a similar situation last summer and the hotel were very accommodating to us oldies and gave us a quiet place to relax while the photographer continued his job , he even came looking for us and took some lovely photos of us sitting in rather plush chairs raising our cups to the newlyweds!!!
We left about 9pm after the evening buffet, our niece-the bride - even made sure we were given a “doggy bag” of extra wedding cake and food to take home with us..

The most important part is the ceremony, if I was youI’d definitely go to that and the meal after. As for the evening I’d decline stating you’re not up to that too as no doubt numbers are tight so at least then your nephew can invite friends for the evening instead

Just go to the ceremony and the wedding breakfast

I don't think it's mandatory to stay to midnight!! Leave when you want for heaven's sake,

Personally, I think the service is the most important aspect of the day. For my niece's day, we attended everything and then left at about 7pm because we had a long drive home and the music was a bit loud. By then, the bride and groom were having too much fun to notice which aunts and uncles had left.

I don’t think it rude.
Most couples would want their friends and relatives to simply be there at some point to help celebrate their marriage?
Surely most people would prefer their guests to have an enjoyable time, so attending or missing any parts as preferred?
With older guests, I’d guess any participation to suit would be what’s wanted.

I’d just go to the wedding. And enjoy it 😀

Go to the wedding ceremony and breakfast obviously. Then go home or stay till early evening for a while then go.
I'm in my mid seventies and would stay for the whole thing. You're not too old to enjoy a wonderful family event.

When my sister remarried I went to the registry office and the meal afterwards but passed on the evening disco. I was in my early 40s at the time so did not have age as an excuse. I just didnt want to go because I hate loud music. I dont think anyone was bothered. Weddings are an invitiation, not a summons.

There might be comfy seats and you can take a nap between events. In my vast experience, of 5 fairly recent weddings, one was a two tier event with youngsters only being invited to the evening do
They mainly congregated in the bar and we hardly saw them.
The family and other oldies enjoyed the ceilidh and disco till we dropped.

Like Maw I don't like the 2 tier arrangement but it meant they could include most of their friends.

Is this a first Fanny!
🤣

Pop a marmalade sandwich in your bag, like Paddington, to keep you going.

Wow! 🤩 I think that we are all speaking as one!
A rare case of complete accord has broken out!