Fear of cancer

I was convinced I would due early line my mom, I didn’t want to I had a lovely husband, children and grandchildren but strangely it didn’t worry me. I have always thought what will be will be. Very surprised that I’m now nearly 25 years older tgst she was when she died. I miss her all the time but she has always felt close somehow. In your position as you are so worried I would try to find out if there is some sort of test you could have to put your mind at rest as so many things are now curable.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell lung cancer in May. I am 78 years of age, was widowed at 51 and had to make a new life for myself. My attitude is, we all have to die of something, and I would prefer this than to be struck down with any form of dementia.
I think there are worse things to die from, but I know that at 78 I have a different attitude to this than if I was 58. My family and friends have been very supportive, and this has helped enormously.

Primrose53 - great attitude 👍

Our families have a load of cancers but i don’t worry about it. I’m at med-high risk of bowel cancer as my Mum had it twice (different types), I’ve had loads of skin cancers. My Dad had prostate cancer, my FIL had non hodgkins lymphoma. I have lost my MIL and SIL to breast cancer. My niece had double mastectomy at 28. My husband carries the BRCA gene.

I really sympathise with people who have a fear of cancer but I honestly do not worry about it.

Deedaa. Thank you so much for your positive post. My sister was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma last year. She is having Chemo and various drugs. I haven’t asked her what the prognosis is as I haven’t yet come to terms with losing my brother last year. You have given me hope. Thank you

I've just caught up with this thread. My husband was treated for Myeloma for 9 years. He had a stem cell transplant that kept him drug free for two years and then had several different drug treatments. The problem is that the myeloma cells continually mutate so that the drugs stop working. When he was diagnosed in 2010 the average survival was 5 years. I believe it is around 10 years now and I've met several people who have lived for 20+ years. Treatment for all blood cancers has been advancing amazingly over the last few years.

Onthemoors this an old thread you would get more help if you posted on the Health forum .

I had a bone marrow biopsy a few months, which confirmed, I have blood cancer. MDS like a pre-leukemia. I'm feeling well but am aware the only cure is a stem cell transplant. However, I have been informed as I am almost 70 it wouldn't be advisable, the process means I'd have a 1 in 5 chance that i would not survive. Not nice, apparently average life expectancy is 5 years.

If it is known to be genetic then there is likely to be a way to test and see if you are carrying this gene.

Yes MayBee myeloma can respond well to treatment but can’t be cured unfortunately. I’m glad to hear that your friend’s doing well and some people live for many years. I’m like that too, one worry usually replaces another!

Isn’t myeloma one of the cancers that responds well to stem cell treatment? I have a friend that has it ( I could be getting it mixed up with something else but but I thought it was myeloma that he had). He’s doing really well. I’m a worrier as well so I do sympathise. Strangely enough, throughout the pandemic I was so worried about covid that I stopped worrying about everything else. But now covid has become something to exist with I’ve started worrying about other things again.

I’m glad your husband has recovered from prostate cancer Farmor and so sorry about your family history Grannyben. It’s good that we can be screened for bowel cancer now and that it can be caught early.

My dad and all 4 of his siblings died with bowel cancer. A number of cousins have also died (one late 20's). I do the bowel cancer screening tests that they send they the post. If I had the slightest symptom I would see my gp immediately but, until then, I will say that I don't have it and continue to live my life as best as I can

People tend to have a fear of cancer more than other conditions, despite the fact that many types can be treated successfully. Diabetes and heart disease kill as many people as cancer, as far as I know, but don't cause the same fear.
We all have to die of something- personally I would fear a diagnosis of motor neurone disease or Huntington's, more than cancer.
Sorry if this reply is nor very helpful - my OH had a fear of cancer and assumed if he got a diagnosis that was the end! However, after a long time of trying to ignore it, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, treated, and is living his life as normal. He may still have some fear of cancer, but actually having it made him realise it wasn't as bad as he thought!

Absolutely GagaJo, here’s to another ten years! Do you mind me asking what is happening with you BlueBelle? Quite understand if you’d rather not reply and wishing you all the best, whatever it is.

I m going through it at the moment but it is what it is

I had a stage 3 very aggressive, hereditary, cancer 10 years ago. Not a lot of treatment available for it. However, as you can see, I'm still here. At first, I was terrified it would come back and checked for every lump and bump.

But now, I've got used to the idea and don't think of it most of the time. It might be head in the sand theory, but it seems to work.

Here's to another 10 years!

I find it normal to worry to what is /has been in genetic in my family. I pray for a calm attitude, eat well, exercise many times a day.

That’s true M0nica thanks. And as for my daughter who’s 23, this cancer tends to affect older adults so should try and stop worrying so much about her….

Incurable today is curable tomorrow, so even if you do develope it in one year, 5 year, 10 years time, the situation my be very different.

Personally I would prefer to tkno how things are happening as not, rather than constantly wondering whether.

Thanks everyone. Silverlining all the best and I’ll try to take your advice. M0nica the trouble with this cancer is that it’s incurable and they can find out if there’s anything wrong at an early stage through blood tests but don’t start treating it until it’s taken hold!

See your doctor and arrange to have regular check-ups. Action is far more useful than midlessly worrying and doing nothing.

Without giving details. I had a scan a few weeks ago that just happened to show a minor problem that can very
occasionally turn nasty. It has been scanned in more detail and I will probably be rescanned every few years, just in case. Problem dealt with and I am not wasting anymore time or thought on it.

I am a lifelong worrier but working hard to stop negative thoughts spoiling my years ahead because there really is no point. It’s actually working.
I am currently waiting for a 2 week urgent appointment to check fir cancer and can honestly say I am very calm and instead of assuming it will be bad news have decided it will be good news. Until I hear to the contrary I will not worry, it’s exhausting and often pointless because almost certainly All will be Well.

My brother died, nearly 20 years ago now at the age of 49 from bowel cancer and I do have regular check ups at my doctors.. I think it is very natural fear to have in the circumstances..💐

Perhaps look on health forum threads as many of us have anxieties about cancers etc...myself included as have few close family members with bladder/breast/lung so know its very upsetting...