Worried about being isolated from daughter

Lily, I couldn’t pass by without offering my sympathy for this nightmare situation.
Does your daughter have a social worker? Or does her sheltered housing have a warden who could help? It feels like a safeguarding issue as she is a vulnerable adult. I think that I would try a call to social services for advice.

I’m wondering when he is due for trial, and whether this might help you to re establish contact with her if he is found guilty and gets a custodial sentence?
I hope that someone with more experience than myself adds more helpful advice.

he has isolated her from many friends
And is trying to get you out of the picture too I feel.

Does she have a social worker?
Surely if he's on bail he should not have been bailed to your daughter's address??
This could make her "intentionally" homeless.
These things are worth asking about. Social worker and police I feel.

This is controlling behaviour and it sounds as though she is vulnerable.

LilyoftheValley, I am so sad to know of your distress. The awful thing is that learning disabilities or not it is very difficult indeed to take any positive action . You know how vulnerable your daughter is and this situation must be breaking your heart. Ali suggests contacting social services, sound advice. This man sounds like bad news and I really don't know what to suggest. He obviously resents you being in contact with your DD and she is very influenced by him . Marriage will be of great benefit to him! On bail for a serious sexual crime , no wonder you are at your wits end. A custodial sentence, would enable you to reconnect with your DD. He knows your daughter is vulnerable and is taking advantage of that. Please keep us posted on developments .💐💐💐

So sorry to hear this.
She's a vulnerable adult and I agree this is controlling.
I have to do compulsory training as part of my working practice and vulnerable adults are a module. Please as suggested speak to her social worker or even possibly the Police if he's out on bail.
Best of wishes and luck.

I couldn't pass without acknowledging your post. How very worrying this all is, I would suggest contacting your DD's social worker and possibly the Police if you consider your DD to be in danger. I| don't know how severe your DD's learning difficulties are, but does she have some sort of guardianship (other than you, of course), a protection order of some sort? I am sorry, I don't know anything about the legals of this, but I think there are some retired social workers on here who may be able to help. I am so sorry for your worry.

this almost sounds like a form of cuckooing.
contact police and adult social services.

Thank you all so much. Your comments and kindness have helped.

Not sure about trial because it is Police extended bail. My feeling is that he wants her to marry him before we know when is is due or has to go, for trial. If he truly loved her surely he would want this over before making her commit.

Social Services are involved, however ...... because of "human rights" they cannot enforce anything. I am in touch with them and they are being helpful.

I am hoping to see her tomorrow afternoon for a coffee. Haven't given her a time because I am trying to avoid her being "taken out" befo9re I arrive. Shall try and take her out for an hour or two to escape the toxic atmosphere but I have no idea whether she will be able to come out.

LilyoftheValley

My heart goes out to her and to you.

HousePlantQueen raises the question of whether or not there are any guardianship issues that can be invoked in the face of what may be coercive control.

The fact that she has been asked to leave sheltered housing because of him is also worrying and should be ringing bells across the social care estate.

If, as it seems, she is being controlled, the domestic violence helpline 'Refuge' 0800 2000 247 - live chat 3pm to 10pm may just be of help to you.

Warmest wishes, hugs (and prayers) go out to you.

Really difficult to say more than has already been said but I really really feel for you and I hope sincerely you can get some help to get her away from this parasite

The human rights issue is a major stumbling block because she is adult
( Learning disability or not ) there is little you can do.It is a nightmare for you and my thoughts are with you . I hope the
meeting with your daughter goes well tomorrow, it is such a delicate situation. Clearly your daughter is unable to see the bigger picture! This could happen to anyone regardless of whether there is a learning disability or not - I know this! We could see disaster round the corner but nothing we could do . We just have to pick up the pieces!!! Our AC is still with partner, insisting all is well - it's not !!!

So sorry to hear about this. All local authorities have an adult safeguarding team who you could contact. As he is on bail for an alleged sexual crime and your vulnerable daughter could be made homeless, it should ring alarm bells

welbeck I absolutely agree with you. This is a plice issue. He is on bail for a serious sexual offence He has moved in with someone who is clearly vulnerable.

Speak to a charity who deal with women in abusive situations and seek their advice.

I think you need to:

*Contact the police. Request a search for offences ...cant remember what that is called but I know you can
*Discuss with them your daughters history/vulnerability etc and your concerns re coercive control
* I assume she ahs a social worker ...get in touch with them Give their contact details to the police
* continue to maintain contact as best as you can.

So sorry you are in this painful position

I agree with others LilyoftheValley you need to get advice from your social work or safeguarding team. Shelflife is right though your daughter is entitled to make her own decisions whether rightly or wrongly. It's very difficult for you to see her being taken advantage of in this way.

Encourage your DD to apply for information about her partner via Clares Law.....he may well have an extensive history of abusive behaviour .....this is sometimes a wake up call to women in abusive relationships .....when they see this written in black and white