Doing things for the last time

If you get a twinge in your hip, knee or back that doesn't resolve within a couple of weeks, see someone about it sooner rather than later. You may get nothing helpful from the NHS until you can't walk and then it's surgery but, if you can afford it, see a registered chiropractor or osteopath. I had an extremely painful hip issue. Pain relief only from the NHS but diagnosis and manipulation of a tight sacro-iliac joint, i.e. not the ball and socket, has me back to normal and, crucially, back to my beloved karate. At no time did the chiropractor recommend rest. Prolonged rest leads to loss of muscle mass. The less you do, the less you can do and it's progressive. Keep going. Never give up!

yes I agree best not to know it is the last time. I do live in hopes of being able to g o sailing again with someone, but no longer have my own boat and now where I live do not have any sailing friends here. Really miss horse riding, as that was my first love from a very young age, and have done dressage and all sorts and been to the spanish riding school in Vienna years ago. With my back the only possibility is that i might have a go with pony and trap, but highly unlikely. I do prefer to think I may do something in the future even if it is highly unlikely. When we had to fill in some forms for my husband, it took for ages and was deeply depressing, as they asked what you could do etc. So he would say he could walk along the high street, and I had to gently remind him that wasnt really so any more as we had to move the car and make sure that he only had to go across the pavement to the shop or cafe. So , as long as we are not asked direct questions we can still see ourselves in the most positive light, but those wretched questions remind us what was no longer possible and oh boy is that a depressing list to fill! So keep thinking positively about what you can do and only face the truth might be different if push comes to shove!!

I always intended to get an Irish Wolfhound one day. Last year, aged 63, I realised I’d put it off too long and could now never have one. I used to have a Rottweiler. She was a wonderful dog. It makes me really sad to realise I can never have another, as they are now too strong for me.

My husband is 70 this year. He has arthritis (don’t we all, but his is more problematic than mine) and has recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia post Covid. We have a fabulous trip to Africa booked for September. We have some savings ear marked for travel. I have just booked another pushing the boat out (pun unintended) holiday for January rather than wait, because I’m now aware that we don’t know how soon it will be before we’ll have to stick with closer, shorter holidays.

I like to focus on what I can do, rather than what I can’t do anymore

The last time I played badminton I had a really bad fall that resulted in a broken vertebra. Lost my courage to play again as pain was intense and I needed lots of physiotherapy to deal with it. Miss it intensely.

Well I thought I’d never roller skate again (I’m 68 with shot knees, blood cancer and Lipoedema). My grandson has other ideas and has encouraged me to join him so I’ve just bought new roller boots after over 50 years and we skate together! Don’t know when it will end but hopefully not too soon 🤞

Georgesgran, you brought back memories of walking from Durham city to the Rose Tree in Shincliffe as a nineteen year old. I’ve never done it since and I only live about 12 miles from there.

Good long walks are a thing of the past after a foot op that didn’t work, but made things worse. I had a few short walks during the lockdowns but even they were too painful. Will I ever even hold another baby? That’s something I think about having so enjoyed holding DGD, now eleven and still cuddly so I’m making the most of every cuddle I get! Probably won’t fly abroad again. I admire so much all of you with such positive attitudes and send to all with less happy memories.

Hah, yes! Last week I pulled my very last all-nighter for a set of financial statements. Retirement at the end of this year and never, ever, again!!!

Oh thank you for that reassurance.
Silly me , thinking that I might sink!.
I used to love swimming and it's such good exercise. I will definitely try to get back into it. 😁

Fleurpepper

henetha

It's swimming that I miss. I last swam in Malta ten years ago and am afraid to swim any more in case my two artificial knees cause me to sink. I didn't realise at the time that it was my last swim.
That's so sad, Nanatoone.

Oh no- goodness, why? I have 2 artificial knees and I love swimming- and they don't make me sink, why would they?

I can't do 'froggy legs' anymore, so swim with up and down feet, even when doing breaststroke. I use short physio flippers, to give more momentum and it works really well. But in swimming pools where they are not allowed, naked feet work well too. Practice in a pool first, with someone in attendance to give you confidence. Artificial knees should NOT stop you at all and help keep muscles strong.

Yes, I second this. I have had one knee replaced, and go swimming regularly. In fact it was recommended by my physio. 2 years ago, after the knee op.

I'm amazes at some of the things that some of you still do. Lots if them are things I've never done. However, to those of you who don't like flying it's easy to travel around Europe by train. The fares are a lot cheaper than in the UK, especially if you plan well in advance. There is a website called the man in seat 61 which provides information on how to get somewhere. We traveled by train from Limoges, via Paris and Zurich and over the Alps, to Florence a few years ago. The return was via Turin where we stopped overnight. A lively city.

We're not beachy sporty people but love pottering around cities and towns something we can't do at the moment. My DH is awaiting a knee op and my asthma is too bad. plus my dogs, 2 blind, one of whom has diabetes I cannot leave them so we are going to have to do days out. Rather a lot of chateaux to see in the Dordogne. Apparently 1000 although not all are open to the public, thankfully.

Now pushing 80, I have led a very active life, which included athletics, hockey, swimming, ski-ing (both down hill and cross-country),mountaineering (reduced to fell-walking in my 40's), tennis and badminton. All of these have gradually become beyond my reach, physically, although I'm still an active walker and on a good day can still manage 8 miles or so. Yes, the gradual deterioration and imposition of limitations is frustrating, but it's also a natural progression, and has led me into other less physically demanding but still enjoyable activities. Walking our 2 dogs, writing (poetry), guitar, attending theatre and musical performances, reading (lots!), travel (more UK-based these days but still so much to see here)... it doesn't really matter, as long as you fill the gap. I'll only feel cheated as regards "doing things for the last time" is concerned when "breathing" is added to the list, but hopefully not for a while yet.

I have read every post here and so many resonate. Thank you for the kind words towards me, it was a horrible time after that holiday and my last proper memory was the hospice nurse telling me to get in bed with my dying husband and talking him through a lovely walk we had had at Croyde and the plan was that he stayed at the destination and I left him there. My god that was hard to do, it was a way to get him to let go really but it didn’t work. Eventually my then son in law bored him to the other world by reading a book! That memory isn’t so sad for me as we had a lovely time and such good memories, but we clearly acknowledged that this was our last time. Some of the other experiences, like the last night time bottle for a baby, made me feel equally as strongly xxx

Paddle boarding looks fun Joseanne!

I had the odd awareness ( before an illness that changed my life took proper hold) it might be the last time I was walking in mountains some years ago- and mentally said goodbye! This has led to exploring other ways - for instance using a camper van so that we could still reach wild places and I could still join in without the long walk ins etc.

No worries JaneJudge, sailing sounds like a good alternative, (and would mean lots of new deck clothes for my wardrobe - think Breton tops and sandals). 👕 🩴
I'm glad your dd has a variety of pursuits which are special to her.
Here's the 3 generations of female paddleboarders in my family, but I let the others pump up the equipment, a back killing job!

Joseanne

Windsurfing and kayaking are finished for me too. But I have moved on to paddle boarding.
I am happy to do something for the final time if I can replace it with something that gives me equal pleasure. The next step will be just watching the DGC on the water, and not participating, but hey ho I will still be involved, (and dream of fitter days!)

you could go sailing instead?

Lots of actvities have been made more accessible for people with varying degrees of disability, so maybe it is better to look for alternatives rather than pining for something you cannot access anymore. This isn't just aimed at you Joseanne I mean to everyone. My dd has quite a severe disability and still horserides, accesses pony and trap riding, has accessed sailing through a disability group, rides a tricycle rather than a two wheeled bike, goes swimming, bowling etc there are always things we can do

Losing people is not something I can give any alternative to though I'm sorry

I agree biglouis. I’ve visited Venice so many times, and have fond memories of Syria for example before the civil war. However nothing stays the same, and each visit would be a different experience. Certainly would be in Syria now, sadly.

A few years ago I visited Venice for the last time. I knew it was for the last time. Its a city I really love and have visited many times. But its not for the disabled. Too many wooky little bridges, steps and awkward places to get to. I did not do all the things I wanted to do or visit all the parts of the city I wanted to see, My mobility was sadly not upto it.

My visit was just at the start of long security queues and the horrible way passengers are now treated at airports. I escaped most of that by requesting special assistance. Now when I see these things on the news Im glad I will never fly again because I would simply have a meltdown.

Its sad to think that I will never again sail along the Grand Canal or wander the fascinating soukhs of Marrakesh, Damascus or Isfahan.

Such is life.

Life is in a constant state of flux, and I know, because of physical constraints, I will never do some things again. Instead I move on to other things which give me pleasure.
I try not to take for granted even simple activities like a walk, or chat with a friend, as life can unexpectedly change in an instant.
I aim to enjoy the present with all the ups and downs as if it were indeed the last time.

I was persuaded to go horse riding about 2 years ago by my daughter and granddaughter. I used to ride regularly but hadn’t for about 15 years. I thought that I would give it a whirl again. Really, really bad idea! I couldn’t get off…. everything had just seized up. Very undignified 😂
I should have left it as a very pleasant memory

I don’t think we shall go abroad again, we had some wonderful trips over the years. A friend said time the other day at least you and I can still walk a fair distance and we thought about the friends who couldn’t now.

henetha

It's swimming that I miss. I last swam in Malta ten years ago and am afraid to swim any more in case my two artificial knees cause me to sink. I didn't realise at the time that it was my last swim.
That's so sad, Nanatoone.

Oh no- goodness, why? I have 2 artificial knees and I love swimming- and they don't make me sink, why would they?

I can't do 'froggy legs' anymore, so swim with up and down feet, even when doing breaststroke. I use short physio flippers, to give more momentum and it works really well. But in swimming pools where they are not allowed, naked feet work well too. Practice in a pool first, with someone in attendance to give you confidence. Artificial knees should NOT stop you at all and help keep muscles strong.

Visiting my mother's family in another country. It would break my heart to go to the village cemetery and see all those graves of loved ones whose laughter and smiles I remember from over half a century ago who welcomed you with open arms and shared their homes and love with you:

The wonder of the world
The beauty and the power,
The shapes of things,
Their colours, lights and shades,
These I saw.
Look ye also while life lasts.