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Has anyone relocated to another part of the country on their own

(40 Posts)
Allsorts Sun 11-Jun-23 07:42:22

Reading a post of someone moving to a completely new area at 70 with their husband. Has anyone done this alone?

effalump Thu 15-Jun-23 15:31:06

I'm definiely considering it. Preferably somewhere near a beach.

merlotgran Thu 15-Jun-23 14:29:56

Eighteen months ago I moved, on my own, from a village in Cambridgeshire to a Hampshire coastal town. DH had just died and my reasons were to be near family although I had to wait six months before DD and her husband returned from his Navy deployment.

I was too busy getting my life back on track and doing up my bungalow to feel lonely although there were moments when I would have loved somebody to chat to apart from my dog! I laugh now when I look back at those rather dismal winter months and remember not even having the confidence to drive to the local supermarket without using SatNav so I could hear a comforting voice! 😋

But I made it!! Joining U3a was definitely the right thing to do and by the time DD returned I had made some lovely friends and was enjoying a fledgling social life. The area where I live is known locally as God’s Waiting Room but I couldn’t care less. We’ve all got to wait somewhere!

Do I miss my old life? Some of it yes but I definitely did the right thing. You’re never to old for an adventure.

humptydumpty Thu 15-Jun-23 13:53:51

ALANaV, can I ask where you're living now?

Chardy Wed 14-Jun-23 11:50:51

In later life, a partner may be someone for whom you are carer, perhaps making it harder to meet new people.

Chardy Wed 14-Jun-23 11:48:02

Foxygloves

I noticed OP said “alone” and yet lots of replies use “we” and clearly refer to a husband or partner.
It is a very different thing to do it alone as Grammaretto says, without even perhaps family in the area.

I think there are nearly 20 posts from people who moved alone.

nanna8 Wed 14-Jun-23 01:22:58

Some communities can be very closed and don’t like newcomers. I experienced this when we lived in Tasmania for a while. I suspect parts of Devon might be like this. Parts of mainland Australia are,too, or so I hear. That is possibly why some country towns are not doing so well.

Seabreeze Wed 14-Jun-23 00:22:18

I moved from France to the south coast on my own after living there for seven years. No family near by. I was lonely to begin with but soon got into volunteering and met new people including my current partner of 12 years. I was 65 at the time.

ALANaV Tue 13-Jun-23 21:46:24

Moved on my own after a divorce to a town in the East Midlands, from Essex...only because it was the only place I could afford to buy outright. Then moved to Spain ....then to France for 25 years....my brother in the North of England died and I inherited his house .after Brexit made staying in France difficult I moved to North England ...love it ! after rural France it is great to have theatres, concert halls, cinema, shops (those that are left !) an international airport and a ferry for cruises ! would NEVER go back to a rural setting ! I have hospitals, doctors, even Banks (those that are left !again !).....am now 75 and do a lot of travelling whilst I still can !

Foxygloves Tue 13-Jun-23 21:34:07

I noticed OP said “alone” and yet lots of replies use “we” and clearly refer to a husband or partner.
It is a very different thing to do it alone as Grammaretto says, without even perhaps family in the area.

Tricia1951 Tue 13-Jun-23 21:22:47

We (late 60s) moved from a south London suburb to the centre of a market town in Hampshire two years ago - we are a few minutes walk from useful and interesting shops, doctor, small hospital, station. We are starting to feel part of the community here - it takes time, but I am so pleased we made the move.

Hellogirl1 Tue 13-Jun-23 21:12:59

When I was nearly 13, I left home under the guise of going to school, but instead of getting on the school bus to Ecclesfield, I got the bus into Barnsley, then another to Manchester. I had the princely sum of 3 shillings and 7pence ha`penny on me. When I got to Manchester, I made my way across the city centre to Cannon Street, and got a bus to Bamford, where my grandma lived. I was a penny short for the fare on this last bus, but the conductor let me off. My grandma was shocked to see me, but I never went back to my mother`s.

Bijou Tue 13-Jun-23 19:26:29

For financial reasons had to move from Hampshire where we had a bungalow with large garden in an active village to a small bungalow in an estate in a Norfolk. I even the cat didnt like it and soon died.

Modompodom Tue 13-Jun-23 19:23:21

I am in the process of moving back to my home town on the Kent coast, alone, after more than 50 years. I lived abroad for over 20 years, and in London for 30 years. I did join some local groups and forums before I moved, so have met new people, and I am still in contact with a couple of classmates from 1961. So far all good. Just need to get the London property sold, as I have already bought a house on the coast.

Bluedaisy Tue 13-Jun-23 19:07:03

4 years ago my DH and myself moved from Sussex to Devon. Lovely house but awful time. We didn’t know anyone and seemed to sense a lot of prejudice for some reason especially from builders, gardeners, carpenters etc who lived to rip us off when doing work, all seemed of the opinion we were millionaires or similar because we moved from Sussex! Nothing could be further from the truth. We found People weren’t friendly including most neighbours and stuck with ‘their own’ others that were born and bred in Devon or Cornwall.
We had heard they were like this in Cornwall but now realise that Devon is the same. Friends & Family had all said they looked forward to coming down for a holiday to see us but most didn’t bother in the end and DS who did found after one or two trips didn’t want to do the travelling again too often as it was too long especially if caught in road works. Covid lockdowns didn’t help making us feel more isolated and DH personality started changing and when we moved back to Sussex he was diagnosed with dementia which I hadn’t bargained for so am glad I’m back near family to be honest. I wished we had never moved down there (although I loved the home) but we bitterly regret wasting all that money on moving twice and the cost of buying and seller. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but we now realised we were fed up with lots of problems in our lives before the move and what we really needed was a month or so long holiday and change of scenery. If you’re really going to do this I wish you lots of luck and hope it makes you very happy but my advice would be to first rent a place wherever you are thinking of moving too and see if you like it and would fit in and feel comfortable and are happy with the neighbourhood, Doctors, hospitals, shops and buses etc.

Chardy Tue 13-Jun-23 19:04:08

The wild Scottish coast does sound attractive Grammaretto. A friend moved from here to Ayrshire coast at Christmas and seems to love it. And an old school friend happily moved to Essex coast last year. We're all dog walkers, and all love the sea. But they were brought up by the sea, whereas I lived in London/Surrey border as a child.
As regards summer visitors, I walk around 9am when it's fairly quiet and not too hot.

CBBL Tue 13-Jun-23 17:31:08

I moved from the very North of Scotland to Seaham (Co. Durham) at the age of 75, after separating from my husband.
I live in a quiet area, a 10 minute walk away from the sea front and love it here! I've joined the Library (and a book reading group there), and signed up for a weekly telephone chat for blind and partially sighted people (of which I am one).
Considering joining U3A.
It's not easy being alone after being in a marriage or partnership - but it's definitely better than being unhappy every day!
If you want to, or need to - take a deep breath and do it!

Grammaretto Tue 13-Jun-23 16:59:16

I guess the south coast is rather different from the wild Scottish coast I veer towards Chardy.
My in-laws lived in Southwold for several years when our DC were growing up and we loved it there at Christmas as well as the summer but it was too busy in the summer.

Chardy Tue 13-Jun-23 16:52:48

Grammaretto

Lots of the people answering are couples though. It is quite different on your own

I dream of moving to the seaside every time I go there but my practical side knows better so I shall wave bye bye to that idea. It's cold and lonely in the winter and full of old people. God's waiting room wink

I shall move eventually. I will be on my own but don't yet know where to.

The winter is the best bit, walking the beach on Christmas Day is bliss. As for being full of old people, there don't seem to be many more than anywhere else I go. We do have plenty of craft groups, classes, U3A etc, things for retired folk to join, but then I don't know what other towns offer. Ditto good public transport. And the weather on the South Coast is very good too.

CountessFosco Tue 13-Jun-23 15:54:21

Mallin

I moved to a different country where I didn’t know a word of the language.
Stayed nearly 10years and returned to England which had turned into a very different country from the one I left.

Our sympathies! You can imagine how we are feeling after 44 years.

margauxbordeaux Tue 13-Jun-23 15:37:10

My Spanish, Madrid Capital native husband, and I met in Southern France 32 years ago. Both of us are still employed and in our late 50s.

Well, 31 years ago, I relocated to the Madrid Capital. The rest is history and un-identical twin daughters, now both recently married and they had relocated ! One to Portugal, close to Lisbon and the other to Zürich, Switzerland.

We are all quite happy with our decisions.

Grammaretto Tue 13-Jun-23 15:33:07

Lots of the people answering are couples though. It is quite different on your own

I dream of moving to the seaside every time I go there but my practical side knows better so I shall wave bye bye to that idea. It's cold and lonely in the winter and full of old people. God's waiting room wink

I shall move eventually. I will be on my own but don't yet know where to.

Nannashirlz Tue 13-Jun-23 15:14:50

I’m about to do that move couple hundred miles away on my own but that’s nearer family having been here on my own when covid hit us i through about it but then i got rushed into hospital and it was a nightmare for my two sons to come to visit me in hospital both live in different directions with their wife’s kids I’m nearly 60 but I’m looking forward to it

Mallin Tue 13-Jun-23 14:57:21

I moved to a different country where I didn’t know a word of the language.
Stayed nearly 10years and returned to England which had turned into a very different country from the one I left.

Allsorts Tue 13-Jun-23 14:40:17

What a brave lot you are, it seems that trying it comes on top rather than playing safe.

nanna8 Tue 13-Jun-23 14:37:37

Oh we emigrated, just my husband and 2 babies, many years ago now. Left the rest of the family behind. My husband was very busy at his new job so I was pretty much alone.