Bedtime for older children

Personally I find that pretty OTT and most kids of that age don’t want babying and certainly not going to the loo with
her !!! That’s pretty weird unless she has behavioural or mental health problems No problem in my eyes with popping in for a goodnight kiss and perhaps a little chat as she settles down if that’s what she really needs but not ‘putting to bed’
Can you butter her up and tell her because she’s so grown up she doesn’t need a grandmas help ! Maybe leave the landing light on for her to go to the toilet on her own in the night

It’s a hard one has the daughter actually told you she wants you to follow her regime or are just presuming that will be expected of you

I think you should do whatever your DD asks you to do.

While I agree that your granddaughter is old enough to take herself off to bed the truth is she doesn't. (I'm assuming there are no other issues, learning difficulties etc?) As her mum and dad are going on holiday without her, that's quite a change for her so I'd think it pretty harsh to change her routine wholesale. If her mum gets up to take her to the loo is that because she's frightened of the dark, being the only one awake? I had chronic fear of the dark until I was an adult so can sympathise with her if so. I really think you need to speak to your daughter as they may wish to cancel the holiday if you're unwilling to keep to the routine.

Is it far to go to the loo eg along a dark corridor?
Do any rooms have an ensuite, for instance her parents' room? If so, might she be happier sleeping in their bed while they're away if there is an ensuite with a loo?

Personally, I wouldn't change her routines even though she does seem too old to be taken to bed at 12, as she may be nervous about being upstairs on her own for some reason.

I had chronic fear of the dark until I was an adult

I'm sure that even at 11 or 12 I really disliked being upstairs by myself when everyone else was downstairs.

It's a pity it won't still be school holidays so she could stay up and you all could go up at the same time.

My suggestion would be to avoid any potential difficult situation you should stick with their normal routine. You say your grandchild has life long sleep issues so I don’t think it’s your place to ride rough shod over their routine. I’d let the parents relax and enjoy their break while you go with the flow.

Seems harsh to change her established routine, however ........ taking a thirteen year old girl to the toilet - what is that all about! Unless there is a learning difficulty or other issues I fail to understand this . Both G C are old enough to put themselves to bed !! Your GD has sleep issues so is this connected to her need to have Mum take her to the toilet? I suggest you have a talk with your daughter before your DD goes on holiday and agree with her about what is expected of you.

Surely most 13 year olds don't need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night,! Unless of course there is a medical reason for going

If she has sleep issues, it may be sleep walking is a part of the problem, and this routine ensures safety.

mumofmadboys

I think you should do whatever your DD asks you to do.

Totally this!

Maybe if she’s not woken in the night to go to the loo, there’s a wet bed in the morning. Just saying!

I'd just speak quietly with her "I wonder if you will need your silly old grandma to get up in the night or will you be able to manage on your own? Takes me such a long time to get back to sleep these days! What do you think?"

And follow her lead. We don't know what lead to her difficulties so I think if she is really upset at the idea you should probably just do it as it could make her sleeping problems worse.

There is more going on than over mothering the girl, best to do whatever the girl wants you to do, it’s not normal for sure but there may be a good reason.

It’s only for a week, so I wouldn’t let it bother me ( even if I did think it was odd). Maybe trying to change things, even for a short time, could leave you with more problems (like the wet bed Juliet27 mentioned!)

Why not play it by ear and just tell her to call you if she needs help. She won't expect you to behave exactly as her mother does. What does she do at sleepovers?

I doubt she's been to any sleepovers! But I'd have a good chat with daughter about normal routine - whether you decide to follow it or not! I'd also wondered if there was a bedwetting issue. It's not common for children of that age to need the toilet in the night.

You should get opportunities during the week to talk to your GD casually about her sleep issues - I wonder when she'll want to stay over at friends, go on school trips etc?

I agree with Katie59 and mumofmadboys.

There is more going on than over-worrying and you should do exactly as your DD asks in relation to your DGDs nightime routine.

There some seem to be a shortage of communication between DD and the OP.

If the teenager is prone to bed-wetting surely her mum should be sharing that information with the OP as she will be caring for the child whilst her parents are on holiday. The same applies to nightmares, night terrors or fear of the dark - grandma needs to know if she is to care for the child.

The child is 12, going on 13 years old, hardly a toddler and surely she is old enough to have an opinion and say what she wants.

Routine will be different, parents away = not a good time to challenge the status quo.
Can you have to nap during the day?
When I stay at DD house to look after Gcn I sleep more lightly than I do at home - one ear open like a cat 'just in case' - a week is long enough!!