Grandparenting Time

if they offered you to go however ungraciously I would have gone, being with the children often diffuses the situation.

I have to say sadly even if the courts say you must see them if the parents dont comply there is not a lot you can do. Most Judges will not comply with sending ayone to prison for non compliance

I wouldn't go the legal route, it will likely cause more distance, not less. I would leave it til grandson is a bit older and makes his own decision.

How upsetting for you Grandmalife.

I do wish these sons would stand up to their wives and remind them that their parents are their children's GP's too, and it shouldn't be all about what their wives want for their parents.

It's good that your son has invited you to go later in the week to see your GD open her presents. I hope there wont be an atmosphere but if there is, try to let it wash over you and enjoy your time with your GD.

Hi I've just joined this morning. I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive and unrealistic or my feelings are normal.
Im grandma of 2 granddaughters age 3 and 11 months to my son. We live about 30mins away. Other nanny lives around the corner from them, so she is able to visit and see them more often. My daughter in law is very close to her family and spends a lot if time with them.
It was my granddaughters birthday yesterday. I had asked for several times anything was happening for her Birthday. In end I asked if I could drop presents round if they was doing something. My son said for me to go at lunch time and I could spend afternoon. Which is what I was going do. I was bit late which I had called ahead. When I arrived was atmosphere and I just sat down to eat my lunch I had taken, my daughter in law was calling her parent to arrange for them all to go to soft play straight away.
My son was can't we go in couple hrs and she was no, it be pointless. So I was in situation I didn't know how deal with, obviously I was gutted to realise I needed to leave. She did say come too but it was bit after thought.
So basically I was there 15mins, my granddaughter didn't even open her presents and I left.
I was gutted and so upset, I left before I got emotional but as was getting in car my son saw I was upset and didn't want me leave.
I think thing upset me most was I would happily just dropped presents off in morning if I had known they was doing something.,but it made me feel like I was nothing. My son said he was only told just before I arrived that was her plan.
I'm angry and hurt and my son wants us to go over evening later in week so my granddaughter can open her presents then. (I'm concerned going be an atmosphere)
I love my grandchildren so very much and want be big part of there lives, but I can't compete with in laws as I haven't got the money they have or live around corner.

Thanks and Happy new year to all of my European friends.
Guessing this is a European forum

If you want a relationship with your gs, your best option is to have a relationship with his father.

I don’t know what the history is, between you and his father, but third party visitation can be an expensive and emotionally painful court battle with no guarantee of success.

tbell40

So, abandon my grandson ??
Should i just hope that he catches up with me in about 4 yr when he starts to drive. Or maybe, when he gets married, i get an invite. ??

I think your best course of action would be to try to be an ally to your grandsons father. A quick internet search , seems to think that in the us any custody or visits would need to be petitioned for by your daughter. Who clearly isn’t doing that given her current life. In your shoes I would do whatever I could think to make myself the sort of person the father may consider allowing in the boys life. Does he see your daughter (his mother) ar all? Did you have a previous strong relationship with him? Does your grandsons father believe that in allowing you to see his son he’s giving the boys mother a way back in (assuming she’s not allowed visits or custody at present) ? Does the boys father feel he’s protecting his son from your daughter and that in. Allowing you “in” it may create an opening for her ? All questions you don’t need to answer online but for your self and use them to guide your behavior .

tbell40 I’ve been through the same only in the UK so I can’t give you any advice for the US. Just want to send my support to you. It’s a horrible situation to be in. We do see our grandsons now but the fight through the courts had to be done by our son on his and our behalf.

So, abandon my grandson ??
Should i just hope that he catches up with me in about 4 yr when he starts to drive. Or maybe, when he gets married, i get an invite. ??

tbell40

I live in Michigan.
I've been told i can file a motion. Also been told it will only make the problem worse.

Knowing
Nothing about your laws I would
Imagine so. I can’t Imagine anyone wanting to
Forcibly take time with one’s child is going to warm them up to the idea

I live in Michigan.
I've been told i can file a motion. Also been told it will only make the problem worse.

You seem to be in the US. Those of us in the UK can’t advise you.

Are you in UK ? I m not sure there are many grandparents rights here Hopefully someone with more experience will be along to help you

tbell40, my thoughts are with you , I have no experience of this so in no position to advise you. I sincerely hope there are people in GN that are able to help you and you get support very soon. Good luck.