Claire's Law

Claire's Law should be pubkicised much more.

I know someone who only got to know about it after she escaped an abusive relationship.

Whatever you decide to do I would not involve your grand daughter nor would I ask her for information, she may tell her mum now or in the future about your investigations and it will cause at best unpleasantness at worse estrangement.

I can understand your concern, when grieving you are not thinking rationally.

It took 5 years of hard work and determination to bring in Claire's Law. It is there for a reason, so use it. Often our gut instincts are spot on. In your shoes I would be using this Law. Good luck.

You can’t use the The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme as a general background check. Just because your daughter is being secretive doesn’t meet the person she is meeting is bad.

She’s perhaps feeling awkward about needing to be with someone. Others can very judgmental about widows and widowers expecting us to stay in weeds for years or forever. Children can be feel insecure, even resentful about their parent seeing someone new.

Before releasing information, police must be sure that the request is genuine and not malicious; that there is a pressing need for the disclosure; that it is necessary to protect the person from being the victim of a crime; and that the impact on the perpetrators’ rights is necessary and proportionate.

Details that can be shared include information on convictions or allegations of assault, murder, manslaughter and false imprisonment, which may not already be in the public domain.

www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/06/revealed-police-refusing-requests-for-background-checks-on-violent-partners

I’d definitely advise using Clare’s Law in these circumstances, WorkingGran. Your DD sounds vulnerable right now and sadly there is no shortage of people out there just looking to take advantage. I had a colleague who would have been saved a lot of heartbreak if this option had been available when she met “her perfect man” shorty after a traumatic divorce.

Of course I hope all is well.

how old is GD

I agree with Cossy. There may be no sinister reason for the secrecy. Yes, use this new law and if nothing untoward is revealed never tell anyone what you have done. If, God forbid, something worrying is revealed be prepared for your daughter to be very angry with you when you tell her, but it’s what I would do in your situation and she will eventually thank you for it.

I hope there is nothing to worry about and that your daughter feels able to talk about this new relationship soon.

Yes, use the law, however at this point don’t tell anyone.

This relationship may be being kept “secret” because your DD feels it’s very early days, she may feel that people might “judge” her for dating so soon after a bereavement and she may just not her daughter or anyone else to know yet.

Bereavement and grief all affect us differently and we all grieve in different ways and for different time periods.

I hope you find nothing awry, but if you do do please tell DD first before DGD.

Good luck to you all

Having recently moved to the area does not explain why there's nothing about him on FB. He may not use FB which isn't necessarily a red flag. I don't use it either.

Claire's Law is there for a reason and the secrecy of this new relationship would concern me too.

You ask what would I do? I would see if I could use this Law to put mine and more importantly, my GD's mind at rest .