Advice please

GranJan60 Wed 22-May-24 12:58:30

DS and partner are separating reasonably amicably and have DGD 12 and DGS 10 half time each. DGD has just had SATS and also distressed as Partner just revealed that her brother hung himself some time ago. Why she said this is beyond me as poor DGD has enough to cope with at the moment. How to comfort her? Don’t see her too often as they don’t live near but going down for half term.

Add comment | Report

Namsnanny Wed 22-May-24 13:09:16

How dreadful. I feel for your gc especially.
All I can say is, a hug with no words can convey all that needs to be felt, sometimes.
Perhaps accompanied by 'what can I do' then flow her/their lead.

Good luck🌹

Add comment | Report

NotSpaghetti Wed 22-May-24 13:09:49

I'm sorry there has been a suicide in the family. That's terrible news for everyone.

I'm afraid I don't understand who is deceased.
Surely not her 10 year old brother?

Add comment | Report

Calendargirl Wed 22-May-24 13:18:28

I think it’s the GD’s mother’s brother who is deceased.

Add comment | Report

Jaffacake2 Wed 22-May-24 13:23:35

There are some online resources which you may find helpful in speaking to children affected by suicide. " Survivors of bereavement by suicide " and " Winstons Wish " I am sorry I don't know how to link you directly .
Hope it will help when you speak to your grandchildren.

Add comment | Report

silverlining48 Wed 22-May-24 13:40:54

Don’t blame your ex dil. It must be very hard to deal with suicide for close family and the subject may have come up in general conversation or questions from your gd about her mother’s family.
It’s really up to your son and partner to comfort their dd and hope your visit goes well.

Add comment | Report

silverlining48 Wed 22-May-24 13:59:18

Children are very resilient and your gd coukdnt have known her uncle so I woukd be surprised if she was that upset.
The divorce will have much more impact on the children but if the parents are cooperating it really helps children manage the situation.

Add comment | Report

keepingquiet Wed 22-May-24 14:10:15

OP said 'some time ago' which means to me it wasn't recent. If the DGD didn't know her Uncle then sad though it is I don't think too much should be made of it.

As a Grandparent I wouuld keep out as this isn't my direct family and although I would listen to anything that DGD says about it, I wouuldn't raise the issue myself.

It all depends on the familial relationship and the time factor, which we don't know.

If it bothers your DS then be supportive but don't interfere. That's my advice.

Add comment | Report

pascal30 Wed 22-May-24 16:02:49

It seems an odd time to reveal such a thing but we don't know the context.. I would stay out of it, just show love as usual when you visit your GC

Add comment | Report

GranJan60 Thu 23-May-24 15:03:29

Jaffacake2 Thanks a lot - helpful!

Add comment | Report

VickyMarie Sun 09-Jun-24 21:51:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Add comment | Report

NotSpaghetti Mon 10-Jun-24 07:27:45

VickyMarie you are obviously needing some support but have accidentally posted on a thread talking about suicide.

You need to start a new thread if you want to discuss your problem.
flowers