How often did you see your grandparents?

my maternal grandad died when i was 6 months and we lived with my maternal grandmother until i was 7, both my parents worked so it was my nan who looked after me on a day to day basis and in the summer holidays she took me all over - the beach, park and on a wednesday always visited her sister 2 bus rides away. When we moved I used to stay every weekend and all the school holidays. We used to visit my dads family every summer for 2 weeks although i do remember when i was about 4 my dads parents coming to stay at my nans, i think that was the last time i saw my dads mum and his dad died when i was 10. We lived again at my nans when my mum was dying so she had someone with her all the time as both dad and i were working. I was lucky to have my nan until i was married and had started a family.

Nannycrisp

I’m in a dilemma as to whether I should move closer to my only grandchild?

I’m currently a 3.5-4hr drive away and would love to be closer and to be a bigger part of their life. I would love to be a hands on grandma, to babysit, to take on day trips, to just be there.

Where I live I have a great circle of friends and both my sibling's live within a 10 mile radius, I enjoy my work as well as having a successful part time business.

I would also love the adventure of moving to a completely different area and also to have a bit of capital from the sale of our house to improve quality of life.

Has anyone else made this sort of decision and how did it work out, good or bad .

If you do, be wise about it and have realistic expectations. If I were you I wouldn't expect the majority of my social interactions to be with the grandchild and family. Definitely do extensive research on local clubs and activities you may want to involve yourself in. Most importantly, communicate expectations and get on the same page with your child before assuming your vision is in line with theirs. You all must be aligned. Conflict and sour feelings are inevitable if expectations are mismatched.

My paternal grandparents lived fairly near, so we saw them regularly, but I felt closer to my mother’s parents, who lived at a distance. We loved staying with them when we were small, because they lived in the country and it was excitingly different from our suburban life.

When my maternal grandma became ill, she and my grandfather came to live with us so that my mother could care for her. She died when I was eight, but my grandfather lived with us till I was fourteen or so. I loved him dearly. He had been a headmaster and a choirmaster, so he encouraged my singing. I sang round the house all the time - he called me “the Upton nightingale” !!.

I saw my grandparents once a year at most. We lived in the south and maternal family were in northern England and paternal family in Scotland. We did not see them often enough to feel close or get to know them properly.

I loved all my grandparents especially one Gran who I still miss every day. I miss her love and kindness and wish I could get her back.

What a dreadful experience Still. Yes, there are nasty men and women out there and some become grandparents.

The effect they have on their grandchildren is tragic, more so because most grandparents are loving and caring and that must highlight the pain of having grandparents who are not.

With my mum, my brother and I used to travel by 2 buses to visit my grandparents. My grandfather was a paedophile so you can imagine the trauma and anxiety I used to feel on visit Saturdays, never knowing whether he would be able to corner me. So not good memories I am sorry to say.

My mum's parents died but my dad's father would drive 300 miles to take us (3 children) one at a time for a week at their house once a year. We would be treated to shows and outings whilst there..

We very rarely saw them at our house.. maybe they would come to stay once a year.. They were real sticklers for good manners..

Maternal GF died before I was born. Maternal GM lived nearby until we moved across the country with DF's work, and lived for a couple of months with paternal GPs, before DF and DM split up and it was back to living with Maternal GM for a few years, until DM bought a house of her own, only a few miles away.

Never saw paternal GPs again, but saw plenty of other GM until she died many years later.

I only had one GP, Nana, who favoured my older sister and had her to stay over most weekends but when I was of the age when I asked to stay, she said she wouldn't have me. So my mum stopped my sister staying. I was a bit of a b****r, though (probably because I knew she didn't like me). One day I popped a paper bag behind her to make her jump! I wasn't allowed certain biscuits - she said 'no, they are for my A and J' (a boy cousin who she also favoured) She died when I was 6 and I never missed her one bit, even though she was my only GP

My paternal grandparents lived close and I went to them everyday for my dinner when at primary school. I walked there and back and no one thought that was a problem then.
School holidays I spent the days with them. Granny taught me to bake and knit and I loved both of them dearly.
They both lived long enough to see me married and know their two great granddaughters. Grandad died first after being in hospital for a while and Granny soon after, she couldn’t live without him.
My maternal Grandad died after being gassed in WW1 before I was born. Granny lived with us for a while and died when I was about 5. I only remember sitting on her bed while she told me about my Mum as a little girl.

Feverjo

One set died before my birth. The others died when I was young. I have vague memories. All pleasant. Tbh you don’t miss what you really never had. Would have been an excellent bonus to an already happy childhood to have grandparents, but a bonus nonetheless.

Same here.
I wish I could remember my maternal Grandma, she was, by all accounts, lovely and we visited often I think, as they weren't far away.

Aveline is right Nannycrisp I have heard of several people who have made a move like this and regretted it. Sounds like you have a good life where you are which is not to be dismissed lightly. Visiting more often seems a better solution.

One set died before my birth. The others died when I was young. I have vague memories. All pleasant. Tbh you don’t miss what you really never had. Would have been an excellent bonus to an already happy childhood to have grandparents, but a bonus nonetheless.

Every week as they lived locally. Loved them and miss them still.

Beware Nannycrisp GCs grow up and away very fast. Nothing personal it's just that once they start school they rapidly become taken up by that. Their parents have their own, often busy, lives and you could find yourself pretty lonely through no fault of anybody's. If you have the funds why not stay where you are but visit more often. Stay in a nice hotel where you can entertain them so your visit isn't an added pressure. Then go home to your friends and other relations.

I’m in a dilemma as to whether I should move closer to my only grandchild?

I’m currently a 3.5-4hr drive away and would love to be closer and to be a bigger part of their life. I would love to be a hands on grandma, to babysit, to take on day trips, to just be there.

Where I live I have a great circle of friends and both my sibling's live within a 10 mile radius, I enjoy my work as well as having a successful part time business.

I would also love the adventure of moving to a completely different area and also to have a bit of capital from the sale of our house to improve quality of life.

Has anyone else made this sort of decision and how did it work out, good or bad .

I can clearly remember my maternal granny, though she died when I was 8.
Probably visited once a year, she lived in a Yorkshire pit village- all long gone now.
Outside loo, quite cobbled street, still hardly any cars parked (apart from our Dads) this was the 1960s.
She died in 1969 just days before middle sisters’ big wedding day.
The house was typical of its age with black lead range and a step down Scullery with the old sink curtained off. A big old couch with cushions and blankets on which I inevitably fell asleep 😴 on as it was a long day with several of my mums brothers plus their families dropping in- Granny had nine children!
Usually there was nice big tea meal at the table with lots of cups of tea supped.

The front room by my recollection was never used although it did have a small old “wooden” telly in it.
We stayed over once, there were 2 bedrooms, so I shared with mum and dad.
It was immaculately clean but very Spartan upstairs presumably because there was only one reason to go up there -for bed as no bathroom.

Granny wasn’t much of a cuddler and didn’t attempt any personal interaction with me but neither was anyone else in my life.
She did like young babies though and there were a few around a that point in time.
There was a slightly whiskery kiss 😙 on leaving. It was like another world to me.

I stopped the “give grandma a kiss” thing with my own grandchildren when they were of an age when they don’t really like it.
My mum and dad had far more involvement with all of her 20 grandchildren during their lifetimes but nowhere near the amount that I have had with mine. how the times have changed.

My grandma looked after me when I was little, she was funny and kind and if it hadn't been for her I don't know what would become of me. We loved each other very much

One set of grandparents visited us every single day. It drove my mum wild! And if they fell out with each other, they both visited separately. Apparently it started as soon as mum and dad married. They were very loving to me until my brother was born and then I was discarded because he was the golden boy. The other grandparents I rarely saw. My nanna was lovely but papa was a thoroughly nasty individual.

We lived with my granny til i was 5 ...then stayed with her every holiday after that and saw her a couple of times in term time ...she lived 25 miles away

We were very lucky and had regular contact with both sets of grandparents. We saw them at least every week and often went to stay with one or other of them. I feel I learned a lot from them and my maternal Gran in particular was an inspiration for me when I became a Gran myself. She gave us her time, lots of it. We played endless board games and she taught me how to knit and crochet and bought us toys and things we really wanted. My other Granny was an expert player of hide and seek and a terrific baker. They both ended up living with us albeit at slightly different times. I still miss them and think of them fondly and often. The Grandads were great too but sadly died long before their wives.

Maybe twice a year in a good year. One lot lived in the North of England, the others on a farm far South. We were in London. Usually Christmas and one another time. Sadly, not much of a relationship.

I saw mine all the time and had a very close relationship with them all. They babysat when mum & dad went out, took me on day trips, and on holidays, and looked after me when mum was working, and in the school holidays. I was also lucky to still have all of my great grandparents around when I was young, and remember spending time with all of them, except for my maternal great grandfather who died when I was a baby.

It was only when I became a teenager that I didn't see them quite so often, and I do remember my dad telling me off for not visiting them often enough. Something which I regretted when they were gone. When I was married and had children of my own, I made sure that I visited my grandparents regularly again. Sadly, my paternal grandfather had died by then. My own children have also had close relationships with their grandparents too. I think there's something very special about the relationship between children and their grandparents, if they're lucky enough to have them around.

One gran (widowed, mum's mum) lived 3 miles down the road, or a bus ride away. We were her only grandchildren. So the answer is frequently.
Other grandparents, who had other grandchildren who lived nearer, were 12 miles away but in London suburbs that's a long way. Dad took me across on a train sometimes, but latterly mum took us all over in the car. So the answer is a few times a year.