Wills and Second marriage

You need to see a solicitor.

I don't understand, Teila- who else do you wish to inherit? Do you have children?
Why do you say that you fear your stepchildren receiving " half of my monies".
Surely the money at your death isn't all yours, as you talk about how you have both " worked hard to make our lives comfortable ".

Consult a solicitor. Your husband can leave his monies/property or part thereof to whom he wants.

This sounds like control beyond the grave.
Whatever money I have inherited from my late husband is mine, to leave to whoever I wish. DH made his own provisions for his children in his own will, which have been carried out now, not when I die, apart from the house. We changed to tenants in common, so his half is in trust. All well explained and properly sorted by my solicitor.
I advise you to see a solicitor separately.

I have told my husband I want to see a solicitor on my own and he got very angry.

You need to gather some information to give the solicitor.

You definitely need a solicitor. In the States, they are called Estate Attorneys but no matter. My late husband and I set up living trusts for each of us that mirrored the other’s directives. We both have stepchildren and grandchildren and wrote the breakdown that each gets upon my death. Maybe the difference here is that we worked it out together. We were married for 37 years. We worked and saved together and agreed that all our assets would come to me. I’ve chosen to be as generous as I can afford to be with all of them while I am still living. Be strong and don’t settle for less. It’s hard to stand up for yourself sometimes. Do it anyway. A solicitor may be able to make a more equitable division leaving the assets to you, say in a trust, to be shared only after your death. Sorry for prattling along here, but I’m going through the estate stuff, too. Blessings.

Good luck!

Yes, a solicitor, even if your DH doesn't like it.

Could you remind him that, if he dies first, you could change your will regardless of what you do now? Consequently it's better to agree over what you do.

He needs to make provision for his children and grandchildren in his own will, if that is what he wants to do.

I agree with the advice to see a solicitor on your own. It is wrong of him to bully you and use his anger to stop you getting independent legal advice.

No don't feel bad He is just feeling guilty

Don't split up with someone that you have been with for 45 years over this..

When I read that it didn't seem real and this sounded like a made up story because who would do that

Its not his children's fault they have lost out, they were victims of divorce, how were they to feel never seeing their father. I would divide the inheritance and respect your husbands views as he obviously feels responsible ..