Would you tell a man he's got a urine stain on his trousers?

Oh dear !
This is a potential minefield !
I think that I'd have to tell him and risk offence .
Yes -get hubby to tell him .
Urine pongs .
And urine stains on a hot bus are the worse .
A guy in my yoga class wears tight trousers with a belt and complains all the way through it about being uncomfortable It is really distracting and annoying . I can see my yoga teacher quietly seething .

No urine stain !

But last week as he moaned all the way through the class - I said something .
No one takes criticism well .
The male sex certainly don't !

I think that the most embarrassing thing that I was asked to do was to tell a girl that she had blood stains on the back of her dress .
I did tell her .
We sponged it off in the bathroom .
And she was grateful .

RosiesMaw2

^Rosiesmaw when I received the death certificate the registrar had written the cause of death as PROSTRATE cancer, I was almost apoplectic^

Oh Harrigran I feel for you. That must have been the ultimate insult and in other less tragic circumstances might have raised a laugh. Did you get it changed or would that have delayed probate?

I did not to get to talk to the registrar face to face, they were still working to covid rules at the time.
I decided not to go through the complaints procedure because it would delay probate, everything was taking so long to process it was a nightmare.

I had terrible problems with my boy when he moved in.
When all else failed, I found "losing my s***" seemed to get the message across.

I have noticed this with a few men when they come out of the toilet our 54 year old son one of them. It is because shorts and some cargo pants have elastic waists and do not have a zip or button fly so after using the urinals they dribble down the front of them when pulling them up. I wouldn't worry about it, get him to wear trousers with zip or button flies.

Hes not but I told him that GN advised it

That sounds the most sensible idea, if your husband is happy to go along with it.

Reading through the comments it seems like the best thing to do would be wait until we are visiting him and get my husband to have a quiet word so he can go and change.

If we tell him when he's not at home there's not anything he can do about it and it could be shaming, which we don't want.

There are definately pads for men too, marketed under trade names like MEN and sold in pharmacies.

However, this only solves the problem if you are able to mention it to the man.

I would hesitate to mention the matter, but might do so if the man in question is a widower, or living alone for other reasons.

If he is married, it is a matter for his wife to deal with, and if he has carers coming in, it is up to them.

If you feel you must mention it, best perhaps just to say, "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have stained the front of your trousers."

If this gentleman is someone I cared about I would tell him, to me it’s like saying you’ve got food down your shirt. Whether someone needs to be more careful eating, or needs to wipe their penis after urinating, they’re both bodily functions that need some attention.

Oh no, prostrate!!! So sorry for your loss RosiesMaw2

Rosiesmaw when I received the death certificate the registrar had written the cause of death as PROSTRATE cancer, I was almost apoplectic

Oh Harrigran I feel for you. That must have been the ultimate insult and in other less tragic circumstances might have raised a laugh. Did you get it changed or would that have delayed probate?

harrigran

lots of people have continence problems and you can buy pads for this kind of thing.

OnwardandUpward

RosiesMaw2

Get your husband to have the conversation.

Good one! I'll try, but not sure if he will agree. Man to man would be better.

My husband had the finger up the bum prostate test, so I didn't know that. Things have moved on! Much more dignified for men. (Never mind all the things we women have to endure!!)

Yes, it's still the procedure, OnwardandUpward.
I can verify that as I was in the consulting room at the time!

ExDancer

The up to date prostrate test does not start with the 'finger up the bum' examination, its just a blood test. No doubt things will get embarrassing later on if the blood test is positive.
Remember the slogan 'don't die of embarrassment'? (I think directed at colon cancer).
Is this gentleman married? does he have a sister?

The test procedure does start like that to see if the prostate is enlarged.

A blood test is to find out if PSA levels are raised which could indicate cancer.

The prostate gland is very often enlarged in older men and an indication of this is problems with urinating; this does not necessarily mean the prostate is cancerous.

harrigran

Men have the problem because they are carrying hose pipes around, there is always some water left in them when you put them away.
I would never suggest to a man that there is a prostate problem, usually that is a night time issue.
DH died of prostate cancer and kept his dignity until the very end.
Rosiesmaw when I received the death certificate the registrar had written the cause of death as PROSTRATE cancer, I was almost apoplectic.

So sorry for you loss. X

Grandmafrench 🤣🤣🤣

I know it’s a serious subject (been there) but thank you for the
word of the week, Grandmafrench. Just love it.

Sitzpinkler 😅

Men have the problem because they are carrying hose pipes around, there is always some water left in them when you put them away.
I would never suggest to a man that there is a prostate problem, usually that is a night time issue.
DH died of prostate cancer and kept his dignity until the very end.
Rosiesmaw when I received the death certificate the registrar had written the cause of death as PROSTRATE cancer, I was almost apoplectic.

silverlining48

In Germany men sit down on the toilet. So I am told by German friends.
Why don’t men use a square of loo roll to dry themselves off as we do.

I've been told the same - and it's now the country where men are most likely to sit down. But they always had a word deriding such a practice - "sitzpinkler". Just saying it makes me smile.

What would I do? I'd definitely tell them.
I can't think of a single person - man in this case - who wouldn't be horrified to know that he was walking around in urine-stained trousers. I'd imagine that he has no idea that his trousers are being targeted in this way - he'd probably avoid light coloured trousers if he did!

Telling him would only be doing him a favour IMHO. It's likely that he has reached a stage/age of bladder problems when he can't reliably empty his bladder without leaking afterwards. Wiping and sitting down possibly won't solve the problem. Either he needs to have a prostate chat with his GP, maybe have a PSA test (which could actually save his life) (and yes, I know they can be unreliable but at least then a rectal exam and/or further tests could be organised, if it was deemed advisable) Meanwhile, he needs to pick up a pack of Tena for Men in the appropriate size pads and ensure that he always wears one in his pants to avoid further drama and extra laundry!

Yes, some men can be very difficult on medical issues but with the focus very much on Prostate cancer in recent months, he must surely be aware of some of the detail and sensible enough to admit that this is an important aspect of his health which needs attention. He ought to be grateful that you're trying to save him from any risk of future embarrassment.

And if he's not? Well, you'll have done your best. 🤞

It would make life a lot better if men sat down to pee. No more spraying and dripping all over the toilet and surroundings then leaving it for others to clean up.

What did you have to do to get him to sit down and wipe ?@DamaskRose

I wouldn't mind a bit of blotting.