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Your Opinion Please — Scars on Show - Changing Room

(121 Posts)
Kateykrunch Mon 02-Sept-24 12:11:16

I just want to garner some opinion please.
I have had a double mastectomy (4 years apart) and have a full scar running across the whole of my chest. I consider the scar to be ugly (it is). I am trying to build up my fitness and have started swimming regularly (12 lengths today). The private changing cubicles are tiny, so today when I was getting dressed I discreetly turned away to put my top on BUT although it wasnt very busy the Lady nearby would have seen my flat scared chest. It really would be easier for me not to have to juggle my towel for the fleeting time it takes to dress my top half but I dont want to freak anyone out, so… My question to you please, is would this sight upset you. Opinions will colour my decision moving forward and I could try to shoehorn myself into a cubicle if I am likely to frighten the horses. Thanks to anyone who is happy to give me an opinion on this sensitive subject (I apologise if anyone is offended my my light hearted approach, but….)

Whiff Mon 02-Sept-24 22:25:15

KateyKrunch my mom had a double mastectomy..She had the first breast removed when she was 73. I remember well my dad telling her he didn't marry her for her tits. I told her to wear her scar with pride as she survived. She had the second one removed when she was 86. She said great I never have to wear a bra again . My mom was big breasted.

This might make you laugh when she had the first one removed .She decided to weigh her other one on the kitchen scales to see how much weight she lost. We thought it was hilarious my late husband said why didn't you weight yourself before and after the op . Mom said what would be the fun in that.

Wear your scar with pride you have survived. And gives other women hope that they can survive to.

Never be embarrassed by it . And if anyone says anything tell them to fig off. But I doubt very much any woman would be cruel . Because no matter what age we are, we are all at risk of having breast cancer even men can and do get.breast cancer.

NotSpaghetti Mon 02-Sept-24 23:53:35

I swim in a small friendly gym where we all get to know each other - some quite friendly, some just on "hello/goodbye" terms.

When I first started I liked getting dry in the one and only "cupboard" grin but now I don't bother. No one is looking.

A mastectomy scar is not likely to cause any problems at our gym.

I would try changing in the communal space and see how it feels if you can. Things feel more comfortable with practice.

Most women turn towards the lockers and away from people to put bras and knickers on anyway.

Good for you to go swimming.
I hope you soon feel comfortable about it.
I wouldn't be fazed to happen upon you.
flowers

Mt61 Tue 03-Sept-24 00:11:34

Nope.. Part of life’s tapestry

teabagwoman Tue 03-Sept-24 06:42:17

I’ve had a double mastectomy and have large scars. Finding that the spa didn’t seem to have any individual changing rooms I surprised myself by deciding’what the hell’ and nobody batted an eyelid.

Calendargirl Tue 03-Sept-24 06:58:01

It may frighten a child tho

I don’t think so. A child might ask why there are scars, which would require a simple explanation about operations and scars, but frightened? No.

Children are very accepting of things when explained properly.

NotSpaghetti Tue 03-Sept-24 07:21:40

Agreed Calendargirl
Good post.

M0nica Tue 03-Sept-24 09:05:57

When our DGC, then aged 3 and 6, saw the huge scar on DD's arm - and it was much larger and more prominent then than it is now, DGD never made any comment at all, she knew about her aunt's accident and how she had been injured. The 3 year old, just looked at it and said 'What's that?', so we explained to him, and that was that.

4VivGreen Tue 03-Sept-24 11:09:29

I wouldn’t feel offended or anything negative. More likely a warm loving wave of feeling, for your battle scars.

DeeAitch56 Tue 03-Sept-24 11:17:10

It would not offend or upset me, other than triggering the mixed emotions of feeling sorry for you that you’ve had to endure the emotional and physical pain of having to undergo the treatment but pleasure in realising that you have come out the other end and embracing life again

Fae1 Tue 03-Sept-24 11:24:17

You've been through so much - please don't give a second thought to this. Be proud of your scars. You've survived. Live your life to the fullest! ❤️

Tuskanini Tue 03-Sept-24 11:24:44

People will notice. Same way they would if you had particularly impressive bosoms! If you detect any discomfort, it won’t be because they are offended or disgusted. It will be because they have an impulse to express sympathy or solidarity and are battling with whether this would be appropriate.
Ok, there’ll be the odd person who can’t deal with anything ‘not nice’ and thinks you should just keep it covered up. But would someone with that problem be using a communal changing room?

Kateykrunch Tue 03-Sept-24 11:28:59

Oh gosh, you know what, I hadn’t even thought about ‘it’ in the ways you have expressed, so I’m giving myself a pat on the back and will continue to keep on keeping on and just do what is easiest for me in the changing room. Thank you for your lovely, caring and kind comments. I’m hoping to get back to my 50 (pre-cancer) lengths slowly but surely, so will keep at 12 lengths until that feels ‘easy’ then add 2 more at a time (may take a while lol). I think you have given me a moral boost!! Watch this space……..

VerbenaGirl Tue 03-Sept-24 11:33:04

Wear your scars with pride - they are the history of your journey and part of who you are. I would absolutely never be offended to see scars on view.

Witzend Tue 03-Sept-24 11:37:18

Siope

My gym/swimming pool has only two private cubicles, so most of us get dressed in the open area. In my experience (I have several very obvious/large body scars) nobody notices, or if they do, cares.

I’ve recently signed up at David Lloyd, just for the pool, but have yet to go. I hope to goodness that there are more than 2 cubicles! I really do not do communal changing rooms any more, not that I was ever happy to use them.

I did have a ‘pre’ visit but was unable to see the pool or changing areas, since it was all being renovated.

Quizzer Tue 03-Sept-24 11:39:38

It wouldn’t upset me, but I know that some people are squeamish. That’s their problem not yours.

She777 Tue 03-Sept-24 11:39:38

I wouldn’t even notice, I am usually wrapped up in my thoughts to notice anything.

My sister had a huge surgery and the scar goes from her navel to the middle of her back, she wears a bikini on holiday and no one bats an eye. It’s usually children who ask about it and she always replies that she was attacked by a shark and the kids love it.

MissAdventure Tue 03-Sept-24 11:40:21

smile

Nanna58 Tue 03-Sept-24 11:58:28

Of course it wouldn’t offend me , I’d admire you for your obvious strength in life

Calendargirl Tue 03-Sept-24 12:05:47

Our changing rooms are unisex, so if you don’t use a cubicle, you risk giving some male an eyeful!

TwinLolly Tue 03-Sept-24 12:19:26

A friend of mine had a double mastectomy and doesn't give a fig if women see the scars. She holds her head up high. She is a survivor and is showing the reality of cancer. She's beautiful inside and out, and so are you!thanks

PammyHoops Tue 03-Sept-24 12:21:37

It would not bother me at all.
If I had my grandchildren with me I might be concerned that they might point it out and my worry would be that you would take it personally.
My response to them would be on the lines of. Yes it looks like the lady had to have a big operation. They both know about scars as their father has had surgeries so they might ask questions. As 4yr old children are inclined to do.

Astitchintime Tue 03-Sept-24 12:23:57

It wouldn't upset me in the least - you won your battle, wear. your scars with pride!

If. you. have. trouble in a tiny changing room you might consider a changing coverall - like a tolling bag with a hole for your head - bags of room to dry and dress yourself unhindered flowers

Astitchintime Tue 03-Sept-24 12:24:50

Please excuse the random punctuations - my lap top has a mind of its own sometimes.

BigBopper Tue 03-Sept-24 12:26:00

Of course I would not have been upset about seeing your scars, I would think what a very brave lady you are for what you have been through and hope that you have a long and healthy life in front of you.

Our daughter in laws mum has just had the same operation as yourself and has been given the all clear.

Good luck to you and your family.

BigBopper Tue 03-Sept-24 12:28:37

TwinLolly

A friend of mine had a double mastectomy and doesn't give a fig if women see the scars. She holds her head up high. She is a survivor and is showing the reality of cancer. She's beautiful inside and out, and so are you!thanks

Very well said and I totally agree, wear your battle scars with pride.

I send you a bunch of flowers.