Think about death

Debutante,m is there any reason not to sit with your husband and go through your finances. We’d always shared but I became a bit lazy and left it to mr I, who enjoyed it. As soo. As he was diagnosed we sat down and went through everything. Losing your life partner is the worst kind of grief and being all at sea with finances must make it worse

I do since my friends husband died within 3 days of falling ill. In her words ‘he looked after’ her totally. He took care of all the finances and she literally didn’t have a clue. The poor thing was in a terrible state as he was her life but had no income for several weeks on top of her grief.
Admittedly, their finances would be much more complicated than ours but I worry how my husband would cope if I go first. I take care of all finances not because I’m a control freak or want to but because we’ve had to put our savings into several accounts which are all managed on the internet in order to get the best rates. This is a necessity as we don’t have a private pension so rely heavily on interest for our income. Only 2 of the banks have a branch on the high street now. He doesn't have a clue how to use the internet. I’m just hoping my demise is not sudden so I would get a chance to transfer everything into easy to access high street banks.
I’m also hoping our daughters will help him but as they are both a 2 hour drive away it would be difficult. I’m even thinking we should move back to London to be nearer to them. As my 70th birthday approaches I’m beginning to think retirement to the coast was not our best idea. It does keep me awake at night …

Death doesn't worry me..I will get to see my Husband again. There is a song....Till we meet again, till we meet again, God be with you till we meet again.

I live alone with absolutely no relatives, I worry about my pets if I were to die in my sleep, what on earth would they do?

www.gransnet.com/forums/gransnet_cafe/a1339145-Older-age

I do a bit;. I started a thread about it a few months back. I will link it sometime.

My eventual answer has been @I have decided I am going to live until I am 90@!
It is working for me. I feel much happier!

excuse the @, they should be speech marks. I need to switch off and on again the computer, to correct the keyboard!

Death doesn't frighten me .I think of the song....Till we meet again, till we meet again, till we meet at Jesus side.My Husband who died a couple of years ago will be waiting for me !

I worry about dying on my own. My darling husband died last year but at least we were together to the end.

Now I’m on my own my youngest son messages me every morning to check I’m ok and at night before I go to bed. He has also set the Alexa app so if I have a fall and am conscious I can call out “drop in on (sons name)” and even if I don’t speak he will know it’s an emergency by the fact the app called him and will come to my home. We have tested it and it works.

crazyH

All the time Nana56.
I am divorced. I live on my own. My biggest fear is that I will ‘go’ in my sleep and no one will know. If my family ring me, and don’t get answer, they won’t think anything of it.
Solution : I have given my children’s numbers to my lovely young friend across the road, and asked her to ring them in case they notice no household activity in the house, curtains closed , car not moved etc. Sounds morbid, but it’s a fact of life.

We often used to hear of people having a bad fall at home, unconscious, or even dead and no-one knowing. As I have lived by myself for many years, this is something that worried me.
Simple solution - each morning I send to my local adult child a message saying OK. If she does not receive this by 9.00 am, she telephones me - if no reply is received she will come round to me.

My thoughts are with those who have sadly lost their husbands/partners.💐 We have lived together for 24 years and have made our wills. OH has two daughters and two grandsons. I have a son and daughter and four granddaughters. We have a joint current account for all household expenses which we contribute to equally. I own 81% of the house and my OH 19%. This is reflected in our wills. My problem is that I don’t have a funeral plan. However, I do have a state pension and a relatively modest private pension. I happily contribute to my granddaughters’ educational and other sporting/performing arts activities, as I like to see them enjoy these things. I feel that I’m quite generous with birthday/Christmas gifts for my children and granddaughters, but I do worry about my funeral arrangements, as I’d like to have paid for it, as I’m very independent. I would only choose something simple, with a party after for my loved ones to celebrate my life.

Yes I do Nana56 and I am always trying to envisage special occasions that would be in the future with my children and grandchildren. As I have got older I tend to think about these things more.

The man over the road from us just died whilst eating his dinner. He was found sitting upright in his easy chair with his half eaten dinner on the coffee table beside him.

I would like to go like my Grandma. She sat in her chair reading a letter, fully and smartly dressed and closed her eyes one last time.

I would like to go like my Grandad. He went to buy his paper at the shop 3 miles from home. When he got back he made a cup of tea, sat in his chair to read the paper, then his heart turned off.
My DH is 10 years older than me so I am concerned about maybe being the one left behind as I have no family and my friends live hundreds of miles away. I'm sure things will work out, whichever one of us is left behind.

Dianehillbilly1957

I'm just relieved and feel better I'm not the only one! Try not to overthink it, but unfortunately my brain keeps taking me there without my permission!! 🤣

Me too!
Our thoughts wander where they will. 😊
It’s definitely an age thing,
Years ago a blood test was just a blood test.
Now?
Waiting for results induces ‘what ifs’….

I think about it nearly every day, morbid I know, can’t help it. DH and I have sorted wills and wishes and have paid up funeral plans. Try and live every day to the full but one day last month felt very unwell, thought I was having a silent heart attack and all I could think was, I’m not ready to go! lol

Thank you V3ra. I think I would prefer a wrist device rather than a pendant. Sounds like a good idea.
So it's best to keep it on at night too. Not sure I would be as strong as your Dad and crawl across the landing

He couldn't do it either, only in his dreams, henetha 😂

My maternal Grandma spent the night lying on the bathroom floor when she had a stroke.
The warden in her sheltered flat found her when she did her routine check the next morning.
Grandma spent a week in hospital, unconscious, before she died.

I went through a bit of a phase whereby I couldn’t stop thinking about it and would feel really down especially when I looked at my five year old granddaughter who is the light of my life as it would upset me that I wouldn’t see her grow up it would make me cry
It still does but to a lesser extent now

Thank you V3ra. I think I would prefer a wrist device rather than a pendant. Sounds like a good idea.
So it's best to keep it on at night too. Not sure I would be as strong as your Dad and crawl across the landing

My husband was told he had terminal cancer in 2016 aged 68. He saw to all the financial matters, the garden and was good at DIY. Was the family go to person with any problems. There were lots of things I should have asked him about but couldn’t bring myself to as I didn’t want to say it out loud. Then when he became really ill I couldn’t ask him because it felt insensitive. Consequently when he died I hadn’t a clue about our finances. I muddled through and I am on top of everything now but I do wish I had been more involved when he was alive. I intend to make it a lot easier for my daughter before my time comes. I also, without sounding morbid, do not intend to enter a care home so I’m hoping the assisted dying law comes in before my health deteriorates otherwise I will decide when I’ve had enough.

I’ve been on my own since DH died for almost 13 years & the possibility of dying and not being discovered for days is increasingly a worry. I live near a daughter but we don’t communicate every day so 3 friends, also on their own, and I WhatsApp each morning. We all have details of each others families and contact numbers should the worst happen. Luckily not yet! Very occasionally one of us forgets and there is a flurry of ‘where are you ***?’ and relief when an answer is forthcoming 😅

Oreo thanks for telling me . Its what I was taught by our English teacher at school . But like everything words change over the decades . 😊

My sister and I think about it a lot, both in our sixties.I think if you have illness or feel less able or have some big life events, that can make you feel more vulnerable.
I think in times opast it wasn't AS worrying because there was better care available, better hospitals, better care homes, all of that and now it's a lottery, if you'e rich or at least comfortable, it makes things easier, if you're not, it's much more scary.

henetha my Dad wears his alarm button on a wrist strap, like a watch.
I've impressed upon him that the only time he's allowed to take it off is when he's in the shower!

He'd been taking it off at night time but I said if he had a funny turn or fell when he went to the toilet, his alarm was no good to him on his bedside table.
"I'd be ok," he said, "I'd haul myself across the landing on my elbows and fetch it." 🙄

My son WhatsApp's me every day to make sure I'm ok.
I'm not worried about death but the thought of falling or having a stroke/heart attack and not being able to get help frightens me. We are just researching a pendant or something which would enable me to easily get help.