Does anyone still miss their parents?

I can't imagine in my wildest dreams what a happy childhood with loving parents was like. Some of you were very lucky.

It has taken me a lifetime of therapy not to be the same kind of parent.

I watched a Mum and daughter yesterday. I realise it was only a snap shot but they looked so happy and comfortable together. The Mum had a lovely head of white hair, nicely dressed.The daughter ( mid 50's?) so caring of her mother, hand on the back, sharing a laugh and a joke.
I only had little glimmers of what this kind of thing could be like.

That's the only good thing Marydoll. No way was my child ever going to be treated like I was.

I suppose part of it is hankering after those innocent days of childhood. The feeling of being loved and secure. And the lovely Christmases. I know this is ridiculous and how life is and I should be grateful for what I have (and I am.)
But I can honour them each and every day and know how lucky I was. I know so many people who had difficult relationships with their parents and tgst must be hard.

My dad died 53 years ago and I miss him every day. He would have been such a brilliant Grandad. All kids loved him he was like the pied-piper,every other word was a joke or a silly story.

Luckygirl3

Hang on to the memories. These good parents are part of you and always will be. Sadly I do not have good memories to treasure. But that's life.

Me neither.😢

Lately I have been thinking more and more about them. Sad memories keep resurfacing.

On a positive note, I hope my experiences have made me a better mother.

I miss my parents and maternal grandparents more and more
I m tearing up now just thinking of them and I beat myself up about all I did wrong (nothing much really but all the why didn’t I do it that way or why did I say that? Etc)
My grandad died when I was 16 I adored him my Nan when Iwas nearly 40 we had such a strong bond
Mum and Dad died the same year 2012, 6 months apart it was a horrible year
I m an only child and they were my family, all gone.

Like Luckygirl my memories of parents, especially father, who was an horrible man, are not happy.
He is neither missed nor mourned. If only I could say otherwise.

No. They both went within 12 months of each other very messily from cancer and that was 40 years ago so I've had plenty of time for any memories to get fuzzy around the edges.

I miss them both very much. My mother died in 1997, a few days before her 90th birthday. My father died in 2001, just before the twin towers disaster. He was 94. In their lifetimes I talked to them on the phone every day (we didn’t live close) and their conversation was interesting and lively up to the day they died, although my mother’s stroke made her rather muddled sometimes.

It upsets me that they never knew my grandchildren. They would have loved them so much, and been thrilled to have a great-granddaughter in our boy-dominated family..

I am so pleased for those of you who have such memories, cherish them and realise your grief is grieving the very happy lives you lived together.
My Father died when I was 11, it was 1949, he was also 49, an older father who I barely knew as was the way in those far off days.
I was an only child and my Mother used me as an emotional crutch until she died aged 101.
Not many fond memories only a sense of freedom for the first time .
You still grieving really are the lucky ones.

My Mum died quite young when I was in my 20s. At the time I just carried on but often look back now and think of all the young adult experiences that I missed, particularly my children missing having a grandmother. I've hosted Christmas for 45 years - it would have been nice to share that!

Thank you for acknowledging those of us who are widows OP. I found that much harder than losing my parents. I lost my mum when she was aged 87 in 2006 and my dad in 1978 when he was 63. I don't have siblings so now that I am on my own I have started to miss my mum much more than before. It would be lovely to talk about shared history and memories with someone. My dad died so long ago that, although I think of him, I don't miss him in the same way. I've spent all my adult life without him.

Oh thank you for sharing with me 🙏 I’m sad for those of you who don’t have good memories. I suppose it just seems strange that it’s taken 9 months to grieve for mum but grief is rarely linear.
Thinking of you all.

Yes, every day.. Every time the House phone rings, I instinctively think it's my Mum, she's been only been gone 3 years.
Certain Songs on the Radio, still have me in tears reminding me of my Dad he's been gone 10 years.

I was very lucky my parents were both amazing, my sister and I had a loving, happy childhood and our children had brilliant Grandparents.

My dad died in 1995. My mum in 2008. I still miss them very much!

Yes I miss both parents. I am through the crying and choked up stage and mainly feel relief that they both had long lives and are buried together. I go regularly to tend the grave and just have really happy memories.

Dad died in 2007 aged 86 and Mum died during Covid a few weeks before Christmas in 2020. She was nearly 97.

I looked after Mum after Dad died and looking back I don’t know how I did it. I seemed to have no time to myself during my 60s and they just went in a flash. That decade just vanished but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I have a little Peruvian doll (about 1.5” tall) and she sits by my bed and if I go away, she comes in my suitcase, so I still take Mum on holiday!

No. I wish my mother had had a better life as her life was awful. She died at 58 when I was 23. My father was a monster.

I was a much wanted only child and loved, I know, unconditionally but I have always felt something missing. My Mum died after years of ill health at 87. Dad followed on four years later at 84. He adored her and everything revolved round her. I was relieved when she died. I had time with Dad after he was widowed and we were close until he died. Perhaps it was a generational thing but now, with hindsight, I realise I didn’t ‘know’ them. As I age, I now feel an incredible guilt that I didn’t do as much as I could to ‘find’ them, but life, family and work got in the way. They were from the stiff upper lip, buttoned up era. I feel very sad that it’s too late and, yes, I miss them.

My parents, at times, perhaps not with the intensity many mention, but my younger sister died suddenly 33 years ago, and I think about her often.

I have a second sister but she is quite a bit my junior, so, so many of my childhood memories involve my deceased sister, who was very close to me in age. We did so much together and so many things trigger memories - like this thread.

Yes I miss my parents and often think how happy they would be to have lived long enough to see their 4 great grandchildren. They had a close relationship with my 2 children from birth into their adult lives. Mum sadly died a few months before my daughter’s wedding day. Then a few years later Dad died a month before my son’s wife gave birth to their first child. He wanted so much to make it to that day and said he would die happy if he could just hold on till the baby was born. Sadly it wasn’t to be.

They were very much loved parents and grandparents and we speak about them often. My 4 grandchildren didn’t know them but enjoy hearing about them from their parents .

ferry23

Yes, every single day of my life.

Sometimes the loss and grief can be as raw as it was on Day 1 - but at least on Day 1 you don't really take in or believe what has happened to you.

I do think grief can be a bit more difficult to manage if you live alone - more time to dwell and reflect. I often think there must be something wrong with me for still feeling the pain and loss so acutely.

Absolutely nothing wrong with you at all!

My DF died in Jan 2016 and my DM in July 2022, I still miss them both enormously and think about them every day.

I’m an only child and my last grandparent died when I was 15, so very thankful I have four children and an amazing step-daughter and a few very close long standing friendships.

MissInterpreted

No, not really. My dad died when I was 19, so I've had a long time to get used to him not being here - and my mum died several years ago after a long battle with dementia, so it felt like I'd lost her a good few years before that. I didn't have a great relationship with my mum in any case.

It can be a very complicated loss to deal with.

Of course. I would think most would . In time it becomes easier, of course. I still feel like crying when people tell me what a lovely man my Dad was and he died several years ago now.