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Cut off from grandchildren

(8 Posts)
Nannast Thu 14-Nov-24 06:49:06

I have not seen my young grandchildren for a couple of months as i refused to give my daughter more money. She has stopped me contacting her by blocking all routes. My grandchildren have already been cut off from their dad, paternal grandparents, maternal grandad, aunts and great aunts and now me. My daughter has always had mental health problems and a narcarcastic personality which has recently spralled. I am so worried about the impact this is having on my grandchildrens mental wellbeing. She socialises every weekend and has a number of people who are on a rota looking after the children. I'm devastated and miss my grandchildren so much. I have written to them but don't think they get them as she screens everything and decides what they receive. I don't know what to do. The children have had so much loss in their young lives and I don't want them to feel I have left them too.

keepingquiet Thu 14-Nov-24 11:01:29

They won't be feeling that. They will just be accepting the life they have. You don't say how old they are but I suspect they are quite young.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Now I do see my GD regularly and she is a happy, bright little girl. I am reassured that the isolation did not set her back so I had to re-think my previous attitude a lot.

That said, you list but don't say what the other people who have been ostracised feel about it, especially the father, who is the only one who has rights under the law.

Contact with my GD was only restored because my son applied to family court for access and I supported him.

It was a hard and very difficult process and he will be going back again soon for further contact.

It was the only option left open to us but it was worth the battle. GD is a little treasure to be around althought the struggles with mum go on.

I felt I had to do something positive and this was the only course left to me so I wish you all the best in this horrible situation.

keepingquiet Thu 14-Nov-24 13:13:47

I do apologise- this is your daughter not your DiL. I am so sorry.

M0nica Thu 14-Nov-24 13:23:02

Following keepingquiet's post. Can you liaise with the other people cut out by your daughter, your SiL and his family.

This strikes me as a mental illness problem rather than a grandchildren problem and to deal with that you need to all work together. Your SiL, s KQ points ut, has a legal right to see his children and he could take your daughter to court to get access. If he cannot afford to, can other members of the family, including you make a con tribution to help him.

I think the problem you and her exhusband's family are facing is a joint problem and it should be looked at as a united group concerned with the mothers mental health and fitness to look after her children.

Shelflife Thu 14-Nov-24 13:42:05

Your DD has cut all ties with both sides of the family - that says it all ! Monica is correct , this is a joint problem and needs addressing as such. Your DD needs professional help, can the whole family get together preferably in person or failing that online and address this asap? I am so sorry you are having to deal with such a distressing situation. 💐

Allsorts Thu 14-Nov-24 13:59:31

Nannast, sorry about you being cut off from your grandchildren and your worry about your daughter’s health. It must be so stressful. No one can say how your grandchildren are affected, it depends on different factors, their age for example. I would think it highly unlikely they wouldn't miss so many people removed from their lives especially their father. I don't know any narcissists but if your daughter is one that will be damaging from everything I've read and heard. Hopefully the courts will allow the father access as its his right.

crazyH Thu 14-Nov-24 16:18:37

Since she seems to have cut off most of her family, there’s definitely a mental aberration here.
For the sake of the children, the family needs to get together and involve the appropriate professionals.
So sad really flowers

Cossy Thu 14-Nov-24 16:23:39

I agree with all the comments here, it sounds a very unhealthy situation x