Small appetite in restaurants

Why not ask if you could have two starters, one as a starter and one as a main? My cousin and I do this, or a starter each and share a main. She has been known to order a starter and a pudding 😀

I can't eat large meals or drink alcohol - both for medical reasons. Thankfully, I've never found it a problem when eating out. I'm happy to ask for smaller portions and none of my family or friends would ever dream of making an issue out of either my small appetite or not drinking alcohol. A real friend wouldn't make anyone feel anxious or embarrassed about something like that.

I meant to add - she isn't an alcoholic and her friends and family would know this, so the second excuse only works with strangers!

I digress now, but I have a friend who - when she is asked at a dinner party what her job is and she replies "Lactation Consultant" - it also stops further questions!

I know someone who doesn't drink alcohol and when people put pressure on her with a "Go on, have a glass of wine" or similar, she says "I'm on strong antibiotics" (or "I'm an alcoholic" if it's strangers) and they leave her alone immediately. A polite refusal from her doesn't usually work, so this is her second line of defence.

My daughter who often socialises with younger colleagues is surprised at how many "at least half" are at the bar ordering 0% alcohol beer and wine.

I never eat 3 courses I think lots of people don't now. And I have a family member without an oesophagus and he eats very very small meals but can still go out to eat. I wouldn't be bothered just ignore the comments...her issue not yours

I don't know why you don't say ''Please don't say that. You say it each time, and it makes me anxious.'' She deserves it.

I often order a starter, maybe with a portion of chips, for my main course. I find it difficult to finish a ‘proper’ main course. I usually feel very uncomfortable if I force myself to eat. Stick to your guns!

Both DH and I used to love going out for a three course meal, but have noticed in the last few years we can’t eat the same amount, even at home our portion sized has halved almost, so when we go for a meal it’s usually either a starter and main or just a main course we order. The only exception to this was recently when we were using a gift card we were given last Christmas and the restaurant had Crannachan on the menu and I had that as well, but felt bloated for hours, so won’t do that again.

One of my dearest friends often orders a child portion as she simply cannot eat larger portions for medical reasons. We eat out fairly regularly with them, we couldn’t care less if she, or her lovely husband, have one small course, or ten large portions! Likewise drinks!

I’m quite happy 🐽🐽🐷🐷 through my own trough of delicious grub!

I wouldn't stress too much about eating different portions. The main enjoyment is the company of good friends rather than what is eaten.
I have anaphylaxis to wheat and nuts. My friends and family know that I rarely eat in restaurants unless the chef can guarantee a safe meal. If not then I will sit at the table just with lots of tea or coffee and not eat. It's fine,I don't need to take the risk of a serious allergic reaction but also don't want to miss out on socialising.

I am going out this week with my neighbours for a set meal which is three courses. Last year, at the same venue, there was a choice of two or three courses. This year, three only. I don’t care for dessert so never order it. I don’t like to be faced with paying for food I don’t want to eat, but as it’s not so much about the food as the occasion I shall grin and bear it.

I love going out for meals. OH does too. We often share a pudding. I’ll order the pudding and OH will ask for a spoon!If a course is enormous we ask for a doggie bag and this has never been be a problem. I don’t find anything wrong with eating someone’s left overs! When my daughter was with her partner they would order different food, eat half and then swop plates.

If I know the portions are large I ask for a child size portion. Because lack of strength in my hands I always ask for my food to be cut up for me in the kitchen . Never been refused and the food item is put together so it looks whole.
If it's a pizza I take home what's left same with afternoon tea.

If it's set menu have soup no bread and dessert usually ice cream .
Lost 7 st don't want to put it on and still trying to lose the last stone been trying for 3 years to lose it😂

Doggie bag ot take away box then you can nibble on it for the next few days

I can't eat large meals either, particularly at lunchtime as husband and I are so used to eating in the evening at home. I have never understood why restaurants can be difficult about an adult asking for a child's meal; it takes the same effort to plate up a smaller portion and they are getting paid for a smaller quantity. Better surely than refusing the customer who would probably just have a drink to be sociable and the restaurant earn less.

Thank you, everyone.
So interesting to get rounded views, just what I wanted.
13 years ago I was ill and lost two stone. Weight plummeted to 6 and a bit stone.
I’ve put a stone back on again but still only 7 stone 5 ish.
Rarely feel hungry and have little sense of taste.
I’m not a foodie but happy to go out for a meal. It’s a social event too but not if the other person gets wound up!

LadyInBlue

When I go out for a meal with our family, I always have a starter but they don't so I ask for my starter to be brought with their main meal so we can eat together and I then have a dessert while they have coffee.

I am not a big eater and always prefer a starter and a dessert rather than one large meal.

👍🏻 good idea

pascal30

valdavi

I don't mind about how many courses someone I'm meeting for lunch has. I did have a friend who would order 3 courses & only nibble at each. I hate wasting food & the time she ordered a lovely chocolate dessert & didn't even taste it because she didn't like the look of it was torture! I so badly wanted to say "if you don't want it, can I have it?" but that would have been totally non-U but it distracted me terribly until the waiter took it away.

I suppose we all have different ideas of what a friend is but I wouldn't even consider calling someone a friend if I couldn't ask for an uneaten dessert..

She was an unusual friend, more a patron, older & richer but someone who immeasurably increased my self-esteem.Posh restaurant too. I wasn't scared to ask but knew there'd be a scathing response if I did.

crazyH

One of my ‘lunching’ friends, has a poor appetite. I like a nice mains, but she annoys me when she says ‘shall we share the main course’ and I always say No. It isn’t fair to her really, because I enjoy my meal. So what she does is order a ‘kid’s’ meal, although one restaurant refused to do that, because there was no ‘kid’ in our group

She could also ask for a main course okay and eat what she is hungry for of it - but then ask for a "doggie bag" to put the rest in. Restaurants/cafes etc don't seem to notify clients they do that - but any time I've asked for one they've done so with no problem.

You may have known each other for years Stoker but she doesn’t sound pleasant company, tea and cake is a good plan.

One of my ‘lunching’ friends, has a poor appetite. I like a nice mains, but she annoys me when she says ‘shall we share the main course’ and I always say No. It isn’t fair to her really, because I enjoy my meal. So what she does is order a ‘kid’s’ meal, although one restaurant refused to do that, because there was no ‘kid’ in our group

When I go out for a meal with our family, I always have a starter but they don't so I ask for my starter to be brought with their main meal so we can eat together and I then have a dessert while they have coffee.

I am not a big eater and always prefer a starter and a dessert rather than one large meal.

valdavi

I don't mind about how many courses someone I'm meeting for lunch has. I did have a friend who would order 3 courses & only nibble at each. I hate wasting food & the time she ordered a lovely chocolate dessert & didn't even taste it because she didn't like the look of it was torture! I so badly wanted to say "if you don't want it, can I have it?" but that would have been totally non-U but it distracted me terribly until the waiter took it away.

I suppose we all have different ideas of what a friend is but I wouldn't even consider calling someone a friend if I couldn't ask for an uneaten dessert..

I only ever have a starter course (sometimes, but rarely, two) but I so enjoy the social occasion that that doesn't matter a jot. If anyone started to have a go at me rather than being polite. I simply wouldn't be lunching with them. Job done.

If someone said to me i feel so uncomfortable I’d say well stop eating then
Odd sort of friend if your anxious before you’ve even gone to the next meal.