Would you bother??

My kids were dyslexic and thank you letters were really difficult. Once they figured out they could take a picture of what they had done with the cash or of them with the gift they could send via text, messenger, email etc with a 'thank you' attached, they were much better. Just a suggestion in case letter writing is too onerous. X

Might she be depressed?

I would not encourage her bad manners.

I’m with salty on this one, 2 chances then that’s it.

Wow I think you’re all missing something. OP or DH might have said or done something to upset/offend her without realising. It’s very odd that she actually ignores you when in your company. It’s possible that this is why her dad didn’t get back to you, maybe she told him the problem and he didn’t want to upset/offend you… it’s a possibility.

It may do the young woman a good turn to tell her directly in person or by letter why you are stopping paying her, and how her behaviour is hurtful and bad manners.
The tone of this communication is important so keep it cool and brief.

I gave up with my niece and nephew - gifts were never acknowledged, I never even knew if they had been received.
I don't even send then a Christmas card as I don't have their addresses and have never had them since they left home...
I send my sister a card for Christmas and birthdays and that's it. No gifts, and for the same reason.

Failure to acknowledge any gift is just rude, and there are many ways in which it can be done. Text, Messenger, phone call, or even old-school paper and pen. There isn't any excuse, really.

The minute she ignored me that would be it I’m afraid! No excuse whatsoever so many people pussyfoot around relatives etc! Thank goodness ours thank in either text or when see them.

I gave up on my nephew and nieces years ago, I never had an acknowledgment from any of them
My children were either not given presents, or they would drop them off months later when they were in the area, they would be completely age inappropriate, bought in sales, no thought given to the recipient, so one year, I just thought I wouldn’t bother.
I actually have regretted it, it’s not the childrens fault their parents are so thoughtless, so my advice would be to go to eighteen.

Once into teenage years, the written thank you stopped. I decided no more cash presents, not for birthdays nor christmas but I offered the three dgc an alternative and the choice was entirely theirs. Their ages are 15, 16, 17

The alternative was a decent lump sum in premium bonds, a one-off to add to their holdings and all future birthday and christmas presents from me would cease. Unsurprisingly, each one readily agreed to the premium bonds. They are accumulating them to have the basis of a house deposit and I bought the initial bonds six years ago

They have all thanked me over and over and tbh I now feel released

Its extremely rude, I would give no more cash, just a card, it's worse after asking parents if she had received it, no reply. Just do cards. None if them seem interested anyway, but to be ignored is rude and hurtful.

What a rude child if she ignores you never mind the bad manners of not thanking you for a gift. You should stop giving her anything at once. She doesn't deserve you.

I have taken my sister's advice on board: Two strikes .... and you're out.

Thank you all so much for your comments.....I really appreciate them all and have to admit "was I being a bit mean" but when you visit a family and everyone communicates apart from this niece (she is an only child), when you transfer money and don't get an acknowledgment you have to wonder if that account was incorrect don't you? Over the years I have made her some beautiful gifts - a reinforced custom made laptop case one year by special request from her Mum, with extra pockets and a detachable shoulder strap, took me hours and actually I could have sold it ten times over..........did she thank us??.....No she didn't so after reading all your advice, I am done now.

Like others, I was going to say stop at 18, but re-reading the OP, I think I would stop now.

If, even after asking her dad to check with her about last year, and you still heard nothing, well, that says it all.

Ungrateful little madam.

In your situation, BigBertha1, I'd continue to send to your nephew. You state he is really lovely and your only nephew. You say your sister would be offended if you didn't send and that the young man is hard up and has ADHD. All great reasons to continue. The only reason to stop is if the "thank you" that is lacking weighs heavier with you than the good feeling of gifting him at the holiday.

We stopped when they reached 18. If the Godchildren were off to University we’d give a one off monetary gift to help with settling in.

I stopped sending presents to my nieces and nephew when they reached 18. I sent a present for their 30th. I now send presents to my great niece and great nephew. My nephew never sent me a thank-you neither did his sister. They are my sister’s children. My brother’s two daughters always send a thank you.

There are myriad ways to communicate.
This 17 year old is old enough to take responsibility for her own conduct and may be so accustomed to being showered with gifts that yours means little. The fact that she ignores you! 😾Sorry and all that but my advice is give the money or gift to a good cause or someone close who may appreciate and actually really need it.
OR
Save it for yourselves. No brainer.

I have a really lovely nephew who never thanks for his gifts from us. He is 24 now. I send because my sister would be offended if I didn't and he is always hard up. She tells me its because he has ADHD that he doesn't send thank yous or acknowledgements. DH thinks I have given up sending but I still worry about him and think he would like a gift. He is my only nephew. I'd be glad of anyone's thoughts on this situation as well.

My sister and I have never sent presents to each other's children - now all grown up. We do send birthday and Christmas cards however. Special birthdays like 18th are exceptions. Which reminds me that I need to buy and send birthday cards to a nephew and a niece today!

Funnily enough, I was lying awake with a similar dilemma last night. I still give to one niece/nephew pair, who are late teens but still in full time education, and have always sent a thank you note. I’ll just be giving them cash in a card this year.

The other pair are 20s, , both now working, and I never
had a thank you from either, so I stopped a few years ago, but this year I know they’ll all be together, so it feels mean to give nothing.
We are all only doing small edible presents for family adults now, so I’m going to have to get a couple of small boxes of chocs or something. And I need them by tomorrow, to take up North, and I have a mountain of cooking to do today….😩

It's a hard one, on the wider subject of being ignored, I was watching the programme on Channel 4 about the school children, Year 8, who were taking part in an experiment of relinquishing their smart phones for a couple of weeks, and what so many parents said once they entered the pernicious world of Tik Toc etc., it was as if they had lost their child as to the lack of communication. Possibly your niece has entered that stage of her life it's pretty endemic sadly, and annoying the lack of engagement with the "real" people in their lives. It is basic manners, a thank you costs nothing. I do sometimes think maybe when such young people stop getting money from relatives they may make a correlation between that and their non acknowledgement of previous gifts.

I do remember sending one God son money for his birthday, when he was dragged to the phone by my friend, his mother, rehearsed to say "thank you very much for the birthday money" and once followed by "who are you?" we hadn't seen him for a while.

Everyone is echoing my thoughts. I’d give up at 18, but have you continued beyond 18 with other young’uns and would that create a bigger issue?
I have 2 adult nephews (DH’s) who have never acknowledged anything. I sent both small cheques when they were 50 which remain unbanked and now out of date - their loss.

I stopped with my nephews and nieces when they all got to 16. Most of them had part time jobs in cafes, pubs etc and got great tips and were well paid.