Cancelled 😞

Good grief BluebellBlue you're between a rock and a hard place because if you make any kind of official complaint, you would need to declare this any potential buyer when you come to sell.

It's an offence for any recording advice to compromise a neighbours privacy and this even applies to 'door cams' so maybe you could advise them of this when saying that moving theirs by a meter is insufficient.

Is it possible to do something with your gate so that the amount of dirty water that goes under when they clean their patio is at least reduced.

Apart from what I'm afraid are my pretty mediocre suggestions, until you are in a position to move, I don't see what else you can do.

I'm so very sorry .

This looks like AI to me, profound apologies if it isn't. The handle is close to being the same as another, regular, well liked, well respected GN. Again, apologies if I am wrong about this.

If this is a genuine thread then all I can suggest, since you cannot move is to keep your head down and try to ignore your awful neighbours. It doesn't sound, from your account, that you are in the wrong.

@Smileless2012 Thank you 🙏

@Magenta8 If only it was AI. Unfortunately it’s my living reality!

I believe you BluebellBlue- if only because I have been in a similar position myself but for very different reasons.

Lets just say I find it very difficult to trust anyone, even counsellors, GPs etc as they don't always listen. It is like being trapped in a world where everyone is lying and you feel like you are going mad, because you can still see where the truth is...

You are using an inclusive pronoun 'we' so I am taking it there is someone else involved- maybe DH for example?

What is this persons take on the situation- do they want to move too, or is it just you that is being targeted?

Do they listen and agree with you, or just brush it off.

I think at least having someone else to talk these things through with should be some help? I do have family and friends to offload on but I sometimes wonder if they truly believe me.

I can imagine the sort of community where this may happen, so moving may be one solution but it does seem extreme to me.

They have no right to 'drive' you out. I would work on your self-esteem- it shouldnt really matter what other people say about you. There will be someone who will understand, somewhere, you just have to find some allies, even outside the community.

I wish you well.

Thank you @keepingquiet 🙏 I’m sorry to read you’ve been through similar. Yes it’s just me and my other half. No family, sadly.

To think the same people who seem to gain so much joy from having someone to scapegoat/victimise would also be the same people who would consider themselves good and honest upstanding members of a community.

I’m sorry you’re going through this . Firstly an audio camera covering your garden and compromising your privacy is illegal and I’d inform them of this and ask them to move it to cover their garden instead . Also why do they want an audio camera covering your garden??? It sounds very weird. The dirty water and pruning is just petty and spiteful .
Your last comment about being an upstanding member of the community says it all. They’re using that to influence other people in your community and yes it does say more about them than you . But it doesn’t make your life easier . Do you have interests or things you could do in another nearby community? Maybe volunteering. Take care

BluebellBlue

Thank you @keepingquiet 🙏 I’m sorry to read you’ve been through similar. Yes it’s just me and my other half. No family, sadly.

To think the same people who seem to gain so much joy from having someone to scapegoat/victimise would also be the same people who would consider themselves good and honest upstanding members of a community.

I am still going through it Bluebellblue.

It doesn't surprise me that the people consider themselves upstanding- they would rather believe the lies than face up to the truth. It's just easier for them that way.

I'm glad you are not alone- but you haven't said what DH thinks of it all...? Have you told him everything?

We had horrible neighbours once some years ago.
They did eventually move but it soured my garden for years.
We are reclaiming it at last.

Is it possible that there is one main instigator?
Are any of them likely to move?

If not, I would move if you possibly can.
I would never live through the "horrible neighbours" again - even if we lost a fair chunk of money on moving.
You must at least feel your home is your safe place.

Are you in the UK or the US BluebellBlue?
That might make a difference to the advice about the law people give you.

These people are bullying you pure and simple, like you say the "mean girls" at school... for heaven's sake 🙄

I think the first thing you need to do is put up your own security camera so you have evidence of anyone entering your garden, damaging your plants or just trespassing.
You could consider firing a warning shot across your neighbours' bows by "innocently" telling them you've installed it because of some "strange happenings," don't be specific, and have they had any problems recently?
Hopefully that would be the last of that sort of intrusion 🤨

In the UK if and when you sell a property you are obliged to declare any problems you've had with the neighbours as far as I know, so it can be a good idea to avoid this getting formal.

As for your own friendship circle, do you still see the other villager you were warned wasn't "very nice"?
(I'm intrigued as to why!)
Maybe the two of you could team up and look further afield for some more pleasant company.

Many years ago my family felt obliged to leave our church which we were all, adults and children, very involved with.
There had been years of problems for one of my children with a child of another church family. School became involved.
In the end it became untenable.

I am sorry this is your daily situation. All I can offer is you have lots of cameras but also try to make friends elsewhere. Like on here. Sorry.

I'm so sorry for your situation. I live in London so most people aren't friendly on the outside, but if you get to know them then deep friendships can form. As far as I can tell you haven't done anything wrong, you're neighbours are just rude and unfriendly. Keep up the good work and speak to others in the community, I'm sure you'll find someone. (Sorry if I can't help, I've been living in the city since I was 18)