Holding an ‘At Home’.

RosieandherMaw

We did this on a Sunday afternoon, 2-5/6 ish. when we celebrated the 30th anniversary of moving into our village I say “we” but * Paw* was just about chair bound by then, so it was really me.
I put out a variety of cheeses, biscuits, cut up french bread, pickles, celery sticks and grapes. Red and white wine, some soft drinks.
Everybody helped themselves and stood or sat around and chatted and it was remarkably easy!
I had baked a cake which we had with champagne towards the end of the afternoon when friends also helped me provide tea.

This sounds perfect, tea and coffee are a perfect way to wind things up!

We have a drinks dispenser (big tank thing with a tap at the bottom) which we fill with water and ice then leave with glasses and bottles of squash for people to help themselves.

Hope your ‘do’ goes well and you have a lovely birthday.

Thank you lixy. I haven’t definitely decided to do it yet! There’s a lot to think about.

I went to one. It seemed everyone turned up with flowers. Tea, coffee and mostly cold finger foods. The hostess had bought some pastry things which she heated in the oven too.I live in Canada where we all take our
shoes off when entering houses.

I am going to have a bash from 2 -4 pm when it's my birthday but I won't tell them it's my birthday. My small apartment will dictate number of people .to invite. I will enlist the help of 2 GC to be waiters.

To make sure people leave just say the family have booked a table at (e.g.) 6.30. Better still if they really have! You may even find that guests will not only leave on time but will help clear up before they go.

If it's wet and muddy that day just put out extra mats in the hall and a bucket for umbrellas.

Make it clear in your invitations about no gifts and put a huge c!early marked tin for donations to your charity on the buffet table and in the hall. Alternatively, kill two birds with one stone and ask everyone to bring a plate of finger food instead of a gift.

CocoPops

I am going to have a bash from 2 -4 pm when it's my birthday but I won't tell them it's my birthday. My small apartment will dictate number of people .to invite. I will enlist the help of 2 GC to be waiters.

They may be more likely to come if they know it’s your Birthday, could be disappointing for you otherwise?

All social events go better with alcohol 😁

NotSpaghetti

We have done this a lot.
Really easy. We say something like "Please join us for drinks and nibbles anytime after 1.30" or whatever.
I make a big spanakopita or buy in a couple if good flans, I make a big easy to eat with a fork type salad, buy in 50 or so samosas and lots of olives and cheese and Our adult children bring things
- fruit salad and cakes quite often. Houmous and guacamole too
Many guests bring treats to eat.

Not a party but easy and jolly.

My next door neighbour does this a lot and then do hot foods which come out in manageable sized rotation onto a hot-plate.

I would not do it over two days.
I've never had problems with overstaying or bunching-up.

What's a spanakopita? Sounds wonderful!

How awfully sociable of you Cabbie21.

I really don’t think I could be bothered personally to entertain lots of people in my house.
Don’t have the room in any case.

Hope it all goes of brilliantly.

Spanakoptika
A crispy Greek-style spinach and feta filo pie that you can adapt for your needs. This simple spanakopita recipe uses just five ingredients.

As there is no public transport to where I live I immediately thought of the road being blocked with cars if I ventured to hold such an event. Easy for neighbours to pop in but all friends and family would arrive by car or taxi.

I guess it depends on your budget……if funds are restrictive then settle on telling friends that is your birthday, and it’s open house for cake and a cuppa so they’re welcome to drop by whenever they fancy..

Spanakopita...
I use a version of Dimitria's dishes.
She has videos - you can cut them big or small, make them thin or quite fat.
Just don't forget to cut them before you bake them!


www.dimitrasdishes.com/the-best-spanakopita-recipe-updated/

I actually base mine on the older recipe because I "know it" now - but expect the new one is "improved" somehow.
I don't weigh anything so it's obviously not picky.

Oh yes, and I've also made lots of samosa-type triangles for a friend's buffet but this is a bit slower and involves more filo pastry.

I think Astitchintiwo's "tea party " would work just as well.

My experience of At Homes has been as a helper when others have held them.

You need helpers to keep an eye on whatever you serve, keep relays of clean glasses or cups coming up, put flowers in water, etc. etc.

You cannot both enjoy your visitors and talk to them and serve them. So find nieces, nephews, grand-daugters etc. who can and will take over the kitchen.

You have a rough idea of how many will come.

What you serve, is up to you. Cheese and biscuits, wine and soft drinks is one possiblity. Coffee, tea and cakes and biscuits another.

Guests serve themselves from the buffet, but remember a table or tea-trolley for them ti place their used cup, plate and class on.

Most will stand, but do provide chairs for those who cannot.

I ve actually never heard of ‘At homes’ but if I had I wouldn’t have anyone to ask
My children and grandchildren are dotted around the world I have a few close friends but none are very fit and don’t live nearby most are older than me. I ve no idea who my neighbours are except the young couple next door who I nod and smile with I m an only child of an only child on my mums side and on my Dads side I have no cousins, aunts, uncles, left so wouldn’t have anyone to ask and worst of all I don’t own a buffet table 🤣

I used to do parties for Mum and Dads birthdays but I would never do a ‘call in when you want’ I d do a definite invite I d find it very difficult not knowing who was coming or when they were arriving or leaving

I m not a introvert in most situations but I think being divorced or single for whatever reason does make a big difference

Give your invite a title eg 'wine, nibbles and natter' with the time. That makes it clear it is just nibbles on offer, not a meal. Finger foods. Saves on time and fuss. Done it lots of times for various reasons. Bit of music for background and off you go. Once people have a glass in their hand conversation will flow. If you don't want gifts tell people you will have a collection box on the table if anybody wants to drop a donation in for your favoured charity.

A great idea. Take some time to make little cakes and savouries. Have tea and coffee ready, include a box of assorted fruit teas. Get all your side plates, cups & saucers, mugs, glasses etc ready. Cheap paper napkins and some paper plates, just in case. I did it one year and everyone had a great time, so much so that they all stayed until the end. They all made new friends among my friends.

Personally I would never ask people to remove their shoes, I would find that quite rude. I also don't care about birthdays anymore...just another day! I'm not 5....🤣. People will bring a gift regardless as I would never go without a gift regardless of what someone said... Is it a big birthday? I have a big birthday next month but just going out for a nice meal with family on my birthday and lots of wee things with friends throughout the month.... Would hate a party...but that's just me. If you want something like that have it but warn people if you are asking them to remove footwear as some,like me might have neuropathy, or Morton's Neuroma that you are not aware of..that really requires you to have something on your feet...

I have already said that this house does not have a Shoes Off policy.
Definitely not a ‘ party’.
Thanks for all the replies. It has given me a lot to think about. I am moving towards the idea of not doing this, as I think I would worry about too many people turning up at the same time, and my house is too small for that. I can hardly give out timed tickets!

I hired the local village hall for my mother-in-law’s birthday. It had a kitchen with cutlery, crockery, pots and pans etc. where you could do your own catering, or get a catering company in (which is what I did). That way, I didn’t have to worry about possible damage to carpets and furniture and guests didn’t have to remove their shoes! If you hire a village hall as opposed to an hotel room, it can work out quite economically and it is so much better for you to feel able to relax and not worry about accidental damage to your home.
You can normally put up balloons, streamers, banners etc. to add to the party feeling. (You will need to liaise with the person who looks after the hall. They will guide you and often have suggestions to make the party better).
I hope it goes well, whatever you decide.

Apologies! I said ‘party’ and I now see you don’t want it called that! My suggestions will still hold good though.

BlueBelle

I ve actually never heard of ‘At homes’ but if I had I wouldn’t have anyone to ask
My children and grandchildren are dotted around the world I have a few close friends but none are very fit and don’t live nearby most are older than me. I ve no idea who my neighbours are except the young couple next door who I nod and smile with I m an only child of an only child on my mums side and on my Dads side I have no cousins, aunts, uncles, left so wouldn’t have anyone to ask and worst of all I don’t own a buffet table 🤣

I used to do parties for Mum and Dads birthdays but I would never do a ‘call in when you want’ I d do a definite invite I d find it very difficult not knowing who was coming or when they were arriving or leaving

I m not a introvert in most situations but I think being divorced or single for whatever reason does make a big difference

I’ve only heard of ‘at homes’ in historical books, where a woman of ‘some standing’😄 would let others know and they would arrive for tea and cake and chat between certain hours, usually in the afternoon.

At Homes seem to be making a comeback round here. We went to one recently where the invitation said to “drop in” after 12 noon. Most people arrived early and stayed till teatime, and a few were still there till midnight. Very few just popped in for a quick visit. It was lovely but must have been hard work for the anniversary couple. Fortunately they had a lovely sunny day and a massive garden, but I bet they regretted not setting an end time!