Holding an ‘At Home’.

I went to one. It seemed everyone turned up with flowers. Tea, coffee and mostly cold finger foods. The hostess had bought some pastry things which she heated in the oven too.I live in Canada where we all take our
shoes off when entering houses.

Thank you lixy. I haven’t definitely decided to do it yet! There’s a lot to think about.

We have a drinks dispenser (big tank thing with a tap at the bottom) which we fill with water and ice then leave with glasses and bottles of squash for people to help themselves.

Hope your ‘do’ goes well and you have a lovely birthday.

RosieandherMaw

We did this on a Sunday afternoon, 2-5/6 ish. when we celebrated the 30th anniversary of moving into our village I say “we” but * Paw* was just about chair bound by then, so it was really me.
I put out a variety of cheeses, biscuits, cut up french bread, pickles, celery sticks and grapes. Red and white wine, some soft drinks.
Everybody helped themselves and stood or sat around and chatted and it was remarkably easy!
I had baked a cake which we had with champagne towards the end of the afternoon when friends also helped me provide tea.

This sounds perfect, tea and coffee are a perfect way to wind things up!

Sorry to disagree Madeleine but I have never held with white lies or any other sort.
State “times between” clearly on the invitation and if necessary recruit a couple of friends or family to act as sheepdogs (bouncers?) if any stragglers look like hanging on.

May I also suggest whatever you decide to do, to make an ironclad reason to end the party/get together at a certain time. So , to me , it is an acceptable thing to say a small lie, which will not only help you, but also your guests. I would say that you have a longstanding appointment, or something has suddenly come up and you have to leave no later than 4pm or whatever, as you didnt want to cancel the party. It is helpful , if you have a family member or good friend , who can also "remind" you as the time gets near that you need to get ready to go. That way you have set a limit and your guests also know the latest they may stay, rather than that awful bit where most people leave but a few stay and you are ready to have a sit down in peace and quiet!! if people know you support a specific charity, you might say if they wish they can contribute to this charity, or you might say that you are trying to help with a guide dog or lifeboat charity or whatever you decide. Then later when you thank people for coming you can say that X amount has gone to whoever , or alternatively, if you have a garden and are quite a keen gardener you could plant something like winter pansies and if everyone chose to contribute you would have a lovely border filled with colour rather than the amount you would normally buy, or suggest a herb each that you could plant in pots and be able to use them in the winter thinking of their contribution and the occasion.

merlotgran

You’re very brave. I thought ‘At Homes’ died out with the dinner party.
If my experiences are anything to go by you need a big house because once they arrive the blighters won’t go home. 😂

We used to do this on New Year's Day.

One couple who'd moved away arrived just as a lot of people were leaving mid-afternoon and didn't go until about 10pm.
We didn't have a spare bedroom at the time.

Oh definitely shoes ON I would not dream of asking otherwise.
There was a fair amount of prep including serious tidying upstairs for coats etc as it was January, but on the whole I left everybody to get on with it. We had invited everybody who had been a part of our lives since moving here, but no family nor friends from a distance so everybody really knew each other which helped.

We had a big family gathering for Dad's 90th birthday.
We had a selection of sandwiches, fresh fruit kebabs, profiteroles, flapjacks and a few other things from Sainsbury's party foods, ordered in advance.
All we had to do was pick it up that morning. Everything came on a serving platter.
It was all really tasty and well-received.
We added crisps and my sister brought some salad.
My husband organised a large rectangular sponge cake from Asda, with a photograph of Dad and a jokey caption printed on it. That also went down well!
None of it cost a fortune and it made for a stress-free get-together 😊

We did this on a Sunday afternoon, 2-5/6 ish. when we celebrated the 30th anniversary of moving into our village I say “we” but * Paw* was just about chair bound by then, so it was really me.
I put out a variety of cheeses, biscuits, cut up french bread, pickles, celery sticks and grapes. Red and white wine, some soft drinks.
Everybody helped themselves and stood or sat around and chatted and it was remarkably easy!
I had baked a cake which we had with champagne towards the end of the afternoon when friends also helped me provide tea.

The ones I have been to mention a charity.

A good friend celebrated her 70th birthday recently.
She didn't want presents, but her daughter told me she was a big supporter of our local hospice.
Four of us bought her tickets to their weekly lottery.
I don't think she won anything, but it made it a bit more personal!

Suggested donations to charity is a good idea.
I don't have a shoes off policy, so that is one less concern.
It will be too cold to use outside.
Yes, I think I would need one helper.

When it was my mum & dad’s special anniversary, they had a party for family one day, & friends & neighbours day after.

My friend did this for a charity but she had several helpers in the kitchen as lots came.

For my recent birthday, xI had 7 neighbours (ladies) over, lunchtime, for snacks and Prosecco - i have never had a ‘no shoes’ policy.
Later, went out with my daughter for Shopping and Dinner. My sons chose to go on holiday during that week. I was upset but I have now got over it.

We did this (sort of) for DH's recent 80th. We invited people to come anytime between 12 and 4.30 for nibbles and drinks.

Most people turned up around 1pm but, luckily, the weather was fine so we had lots of space and our (small) garden was used to the full as well as the rooms inside.

We asked for donations to charity rather than presents.

Thanks for replies so far.
I don’t have many close friends but lots of friends through groups I belong to.
I have not made a definite decision to do this yet and certainly don’t plan on a load of food as my hours would be maybe 10.30-12, 2-4. Just nibbles, savoury and sweet.
How would I politely stop people bringing gifts?

BlueBelle

Just shows what a solitary life I lead I ve never done anything like this and none of my friends have as far as I know
I think it makes a big difference living alone and having no relations and having enough money to do it too
I ve obviously never lived 🤣

I would have trouble rustling up enough guests who live nearby, so could be stuck sitting in my glad rags looking at the clock and stuffing my face with whatever food was prepared. But must be lovely for those who can do it am not envious at all because have always been an introvert.

No…am a perfect guest bringing flowers or a bottle or candle whichever I feel the friend would prefer…and don’t outstay my welcome if other guests arrive after me …
Am not a kitchen goddess - have always disliked cooking/baking etc although when my child was young I did ensure we ate healthy meals

BlueBelle you could easily do a "pot luck" party.
This was what we did in America.
Just as lovely and the costs are shared that way.

Just shows what a solitary life I lead I ve never done anything like this and none of my friends have as far as I know
I think it makes a big difference living alone and having no relations and having enough money to do it too
I ve obviously never lived 🤣

Here in our part of Germany this happens without invitations so for birthdays - especially round ones - you have to expect half the village. Fortunately they don't all arrive at the same time and don't all stay for an inordinate amount of time.

The day before check cups, saucers, plates and glasses. Don't forget to get out serving bowls and platters for finger food, crisps, etc. They don't get used much so wash them or line them with paper serviettes. Use disposable cutlery if necessary. Wash thermos flasks thoroughly for keeping coffee and tea.

Use an old white sheet to cover a wallpapering table or garden/ camping tables that you may be setting up for a buffet.

The day before, you can bake mini sausage rolls, savoury tarts, cup cakes, but avoid anything that needs more than two steps to make on the day, such as sandwiches. Prepare spreads, cut ham, smoked salmon etc to size in advance, then on the day, slice baguettes to make small slices for open sandwiches which can quickly be assembled.

Fresh fruit goes down well cut into bite size pieces, but don't make a dip for crackers/vegetable fingers as everyone will be dipping into it.

If you have the time and inclination, dates wrapped in bacon (held with a cocktail stick) are very popular and tasty. Make up an oven tray full ready to bake as these are best served warm. Also popular, and can be made in advance if you have somewhere to keep them chilled are sticks of celery with a firm paste of blue cheese, butter, cream and seasonings, chopped chives, piped along the hollow side of the sticks with a star nozzle, then cut into bite-size lengths.

Chill drinks the day before, too. You probably have a few things in the fridge that don't need to be in there which you can take out to make room. Freeze ice packs to keep drinks in cooler bags next to the table. Decent fruit juices and water into pretty glass jugs or carafes.

Don't forget decorations. Colour coordinated serviettes, silk flowers, candles (to disguise the bedsheet!)

We have done this a lot.
Really easy. We say something like "Please join us for drinks and nibbles anytime after 1.30" or whatever.
I make a big spanakopita or buy in a couple if good flans, I make a big easy to eat with a fork type salad, buy in 50 or so samosas and lots of olives and cheese and Our adult children bring things
- fruit salad and cakes quite often. Houmous and guacamole too
Many guests bring treats to eat.

Not a party but easy and jolly.

My next door neighbour does this a lot and then do hot foods which come out in manageable sized rotation onto a hot-plate.

I would not do it over two days.
I've never had problems with overstaying or bunching-up.

Do you have someone who can make the coffee and tea? You need to be free to talk to your friends.
Let them keep their shoes on.
I would serve wine, have a jug or two of Pimm’s. Lots of non alcoholic beverages and nibbles.
Enjoy