Why do some people refuse to go online?

I have a friend who refuses to have anything to do with the internet and makes her husband do anything online related for her.
She says she is happy in her 1970’s world and intends to stay there.
Her husband is not in the best of health and I’m afraid she is going to find her life very limited if he dies.

Lathyrus don’t use such generalisations I’ve never had a car never driven but I ve never expected lifts, I walk, I bus, I use the train, if someone offers a lift I ll accept but never ever have I presumed or expected that I wouldn’t find my own way

One of my brothers is 'scared' of the Internet as is a friend. I do remember being scared of pressing the wrong button when we first had computers for the children.

What I don't understand is why people, with children aged 40/50 now, weren't keen to get on board and encourage their children. I would have felt we were not helping our children keep up with their contemporaries.

And then, one thing leads to another.

Each to their own imo.

If you choose to do so - that's your choice.

If you don't choose to do so - that's your choice.

The whole online thing does add a very distinct other layer of access for thieves to find ways to steal from the rest of us. I know I get very fed-up of having to have a quick think about every single email I get in case it's from a thief, instead of a person iyswim. I'm deleting several every single week that I can tell are from thieves - instead of being genuine emails.

I know thieves still try and make contact via our phones and I always have a cautious little wait for someone legit to say something to me whenever the phone rings. After my initial "hello" in case it's a real phonecall - I just wait until I get some indication whether it's a thief or a person so to say.

So I guess that will be part of it - ie minimising the risk of accidentally falling victim to a thief. Another thing being firms often try to communicate by email - rather than letter - these days and then get all "Print it off then...." if one rings and asks for that email to be in writing - so that you have a written copy of it. There's this automatic assumption that - "If you've got a computer = you've got a printer". No - some of us havent. It may be easier to tell a firm that's trying to get away with not sending a letter that they have no choice but to do so if one hasn't even got a computer. I dislike having to have what often turns into a mini-argument with someone in a firm at the end of the phone trying to make me use my non-existent printer - before they finally agree to send me my letter (so that I have proof in writing that can't go astray).

My mother used to ask me to look things up for her sometimes - eg if the doctor had prescribed her a new drug then she would ask me to look it up and tell her what it said about side-effects. Again - I accepted that and did so - because I know the little leaflets that come with those drugs are in very small print and I didn't mind precis-ing it down to a basic "It says the possible side-effects are x, y and z" and then she'd make up her own mind whether she was going to take it or no.

My sister gave up work before computers were part of office life.

Shysal you really should tell your friend that you can't order/look up things online for her "in case it goes wrong".

By choice I guess. How much time do we waste online? I know I do, my phone tells me so! I was thinking of getting a ‘dumb’ phone next time but, you’re right, they are too useful, in fact they are being used as a requirement by many companies and government departments. Maybe she doesn’t like that?

My sister, who is 80, has never been online. She is an intelligent woman, an ex Civil Servant. She has relied on her husband computer wise. When he was hospitalised recently she was in a mess.

The live in the middle of nowhere with no shops nearby and she doesn't drive. She had no idea how to do an online shop. She took taxis to visit her husband and had to ask the taxi driver to stop at a shop on the way back. She doesn't own a mobile phone and they have cut off contact with most family and friends.

nanna8

I know someone like this. He is not a stupid person but very stubborn. He had a job in nursing and used to get his fellow workers to do his online reports. I think that is just downright selfish but , thankfully, I didn’t work with him.

I bet hid colleagues resented him. Lucky he did not work with me. I eould go out of my way to help a person struggling but I would not help someone who is lazy and resistant to IT when computerised reports were part of his job description.
I don't worry about people not being computer literate or not going online, so long as they don't expect me to keep looking things up for them. In the case of illness or learning difficulty I would make a exception.

I have a friend like this. She set up a school IT department before retiring, but refuses to get a computer 'in case it goes wrong', same reason for not getting a smart phone. That is her choice, but like others, I am always being asked to look for or order things on line for her.

friendlygingercat

*It’s a bit like people who don’t drive and expect you to give lifts instead of using a cab*

There are valid health reasns why people may not drive. They may have poor eyesight or cognitive problems. In my case I have experienced intermittent panic attacks all my life. To the best of my knowledge no one had ever killed anyone through careless use of a computer or smart phone but you can do a lot of damage in a car if you panic.

Absolutely. Many reasons why people don’t drive. I’ll be there soon myself.

And then I’ll call a cab🙂

It’s still very common to hear older people say, I don’t do mobile phones, I don’t do computers. It’s as if it’s a badge of honour. They may as well say, I don’t do cash machines; I don’t do televisions; I don’t do washing machines. All these things require a few buttons or keys to be pressed so no different to a computer or phone once you get used to how they work.

I would categorise reluctance to drive differently as some people do seem to have a genuine fear of getting behind the wheel in case they cause an accident. A reluctant, timid driver is a danger on the roads.

If your cousin is a retired teacher and worked in the school system until state pension age I wonder how she avoided working with children on classroom computers or with an interactive white board.

Considering home computers and mobiles phones have been around for decades; the smart phone (as we now know it) for almost 20 years; it suggests technophobia/technofear. I sometimes suspect it is a reluctance to admit they may need a bit of help getting started with something they have never used. It could also be a fear of being scammed if they go digital. I’m inclined to think that programmes such as Scam Interceptors are helpful but also create unnecessary anxiety.

And why write to ask? Does she not have access to a public library where, even if she doesn’t have a home computer, smart phone or broadband, she could get the data she’s asking for there?

Your post begs the question why does she want the postcode? Presumably she is going to ask someone else to locate the restaurant for her using a digital mapping app.

Every time something comes up about digital service (e.g. the possibility of ID cards), we hear a lot about digital exclusion but I do wonder to what extent many of those “excluded” are deliberately entrenched refusniks. It would be interesting to discover the true reason(s) for their reluctance.

Perhaps, when you meet your cousin, you can have a chat with her about this.

I have a certain amount of sympathy as I am part of a tiny minority of adults who don't have a mobile phone. I am finding it increasingly difficult to fit in with the modern way of doing things as a result.

As my last job, before I retired, required using increasingly complicated online functions this seems to be a blind spot.

It’s a bit like people who don’t drive and expect you to give lifts instead of using a cab

There are valid health reasns why people may not drive. They may have poor eyesight or cognitive problems. In my case I have experienced intermittent panic attacks all my life. To the best of my knowledge no one had ever killed anyone through careless use of a computer or smart phone but you can do a lot of damage in a car if you panic.

I didnt go online til the mid 1980s when I went to uni but I more or less had to. Done mobile banking and online shopping from when they first became available. Not a great fan of texting or social media.

I know someone like this. He is not a stupid person but very stubborn. He had a job in nursing and used to get his fellow workers to do his online reports. I think that is just downright selfish but , thankfully, I didn’t work with him.

I don't know any one who isn't. My mother who died in 2008 and late father in law who died in 2007 were both of a generation who felt it was beyond them. They both had a mobile foisted upon them by us as an additional means to stay in touch. Ocasional use from my mother. Both viewed them as if they were holding an unexploded hand grenade which could unleash hell at any time. I often had arguments with late father in law who was firmly rooted in the opinion that no one needed a computer, not having one made life difficult even back then, we tried to explain how it was required to access numerous necessities, but no he wouldn't have it. Now, the internet is an absolute essential, I can't imagine life without it, on a national level it renders us vulnerable given the sophistication of hackers.

It’s a bit like people who don’t drive and expect you to give lifts instead of using a cab.

Write back saying you don't know it, but giving her the number of directory enquiries, saying she will get it from them - and also giving her the website of the restaurant so that her computer-wise brother can look it up for her.

Don't be too helpful, or you will end up doing all her net searching for her.

No idea.
I note she hasn't called the (expensive) directory enquiries!

I think it is fine not to be online but I don't think it is fine to expect other people to do the online work for you if you are capable yourself.