No thanks.

I can’t believe how many of you are making excuses for your GC bad manners! I have a one strike rule. If I receive no thanks for a gift I won’t be giving to you again. I sent a gift to a friend’s daughter when she had a baby and heard nothing. When number 2 came along I sent nothing, I did get a few hints from my friend but I ignored them. In contrast, her brother messaged me and sent a photo of the baby. My son is 31 and always sends a message to thank people, so please stop excusing your offspring and tell them you expect an acknowledgment of gifts.

I'm still not sure if the gifts have even arrived - let alone been seen by the grandchildren Sueinkent.

I really do think we/you should be waiting to know this first - before feeling annoyed

I think it is down to parents to encourage children to say thank you. Our daughter always had to write letters or speak to people on the phone when she was young and eventually it became second nature to her to say thank you. These days I think it is acceptable to send an email or a text which youngsters prefer to do. Yesterday I videoed a short thank you message from my DGD which I sent to a friend abroad who had sent her a present.
I always buy little gifts for a neighbour’s two young daughters but never a thank you from them though!

I remember being sat at the table on Boxing Day with my brother. There was the Basildon Bond, two proper Parker fountain pens, filled with Quink permanent blue black and 'The List.' Mother would be standing by flexing her arm muscles and occasionally cracking the cat o'nine tails.

Those were the days!

One year an elderly family friend sent her usual Christmas card which usually contained a cheque for me to divide between my two children. However, that year her message read 'Please give the children £15 each.' Unfortunately, no cheque was included! She had forgotten. Nevertheless, both children duly wrote her a thank you letter. We did chuckle though.

Things have changed gradually, it seems, with thank you letters, even texts, from grandchildren less likely. I was with my younger grandchildren as they opened endless gifts yesterday . They shouted thank you and gave hugs as they went.
Not a peep from the older grandchildren. I’m not taking it personally but I am wondering at what age we stop gifting

I don’t think it’s necessarily about them getting too much as I said I got 6 thank yous out of 7 but all of them earn more than me
I got lovely presents off 4 out of 7 and one other always does send so it may be in the post Just the two furthest away in distance don’t give me anything but one does always thank me the other has only ever thanked me after prompting.
Still my grandchild though warts and all

I always had to sit and write my thankyou letters my children all had to as well and one daughter carried the ritual on, the other two let it go.

Aveline

One of my DGCs did text to thank me last night. I suspect at the prompting of his mum though. Nothing from the other one.
It's slightly different but a relatively remote relation has come to uni here. From time to time DH and I take him out for a good lunch then sightseeing then a visit to a farm shop or supermarket to stock up on treats for the next week. He is polite and socially adept yet no thanks or follow up thank you text. I know he does appreciate these outings as his mum always texts me later to thank but nothing from the lad himself. Disappointing. I too have memories of labouring over thank you letters after Christmas and birthdays. It wouldn't occur to me not to do that.

It wouldn't occur to me not to do that
I suspect like many of us it was non-negotiable. Our parents said write thank you letters and we didn't argue. No point.

I have 9 grandchildren who all had money this year. So far I have had 3 messages of thanks. One from my eldest GD, one from her sister in Brisbane and the other from my only GS who is autistic but can remember his manners.
My Boxing Day mornings in the 1950's were spent writing thank you letters to everyone who had been kind enough to give me a present.
My eldest DD who is Mum to the 2 GD's who did thank me said to keep my pension money for myself in future and not send to those who cannot say thank you.
I have to say it's tempting, then I wouldn't have to get so het up about it.
It's the world these youngsters live in I'm afraid. They have far too much, far too easily and don't appreciate what it means to work for anything or go without.

I’m totally taken for granted by my GC. I pay money into their bank accounts every month and give them a larger sum for birthdays and Christmas. We usually print mock cheques which we give them in a card, If we present these in person we will get a cursory thank you. They are all older teenagers and they never visit and never phone. If we visit their home they will eat with us and disappear. They came for lunch with their parents last week and never said a word to me. When they were little I thought we had a good relationship, but now I feel like calling it a day. Sorry - I had a bad day yesterday with DH and this is a subject I am seem to be unable to discuss with anyone.

Like nanna8 I always had to write a thank you letter as a child. As we opened the present, my father would have pen and paper in hand to note what we'd been sent by whom so we could specifically mention the gift in the letter. I think that's the way it was done then. Now it's a text unless we see them on the day as we did yesterday. I agree a non acknowledgement isn't good. How much time does it take these days for a WhatsApp. No I don't think you're being a grouch it's quite hurtful to have no acknowledgement.

One of my DGCs did text to thank me last night. I suspect at the prompting of his mum though. Nothing from the other one.
It's slightly different but a relatively remote relation has come to uni here. From time to time DH and I take him out for a good lunch then sightseeing then a visit to a farm shop or supermarket to stock up on treats for the next week. He is polite and socially adept yet no thanks or follow up thank you text. I know he does appreciate these outings as his mum always texts me later to thank but nothing from the lad himself. Disappointing. I too have memories of labouring over thank you letters after Christmas and birthdays. It wouldn't occur to me not to do that.

I noticed that yesterday with my 16 and 13 year old gc. From always writing thankyou letters as younger children they now barely acknowledge gifts, even if we are in the same room, manners don’t seem to be important nowadays.

No you’re not being a grouch
We don’t know the details Purplepixie poster said it was sent in a card does she know it arrived and if it had arrived does she know if it was opened yet I do now realise teens of today are often not into cards
I have seven adult grandkids, scattered around the world , all had money this year I have heard from six I ve had phone calls off each and they were all very grateful and full of what they will do with the money
The seventh and eldest rarely thanks me unless reminded but I think she is perhaps a bit entitled and not so thoughtful of others but I won’t treat her any differently in the future she is still my first grandaughter

Yes! Extremely rude.

Do you know they have a) received them and b) opened them?

Just wondering...

Did you say anything when you saw them, OP? If not, why not? It does seem as though saying thanks is going out of fashion, and I don't know why. I don't have grandchildren, so am a bit out of that loop, but there are so many threads about grans getting upset at the lack of gratitude from their grandchildren that I can see it's going on.

I wouldn't like it either, but I would speak to them and ask what they feel about it. Maybe nobody has taught them that thanks make others feel good, which is a fair exchange for the gift, maybe they feel embarrassed to say thanks (odd, but teens can be), or maybe something else.

You won't know unless you ask, and I doubt any of the generation on here will be able to explain it, as it is outside of our experience, on the whole.

I remember my Mum sitting over me whilst I wrote thank you letters to my aunts and uncles and grandparents. She was right to do it. So much easier for them with mobiles these days but some are not taught to thank people. Most of ours are pretty good but not all of them. Entitled generations.

No thanks here, either, GSs live in England but I will ask tomorrow, did you like your presents. Maybe caught up in the fun of Christmas day.

I’ve just spoken to my GC in the US on FaceTime. They’re almost 13 and 16 and were full of thanks for their physical gifts and Amazon vouchers.

Cabbie21

Two of my grandchildren were like that during their teens but are better now they are a bit older.

I think it can be a bit like that.

it doesn't mean they don't love you, yes, rather taken for granted - teenage lives can be difficult - yes I would if I were their mum ask them to say thanks, granny....but is is worth making a point of it, or better left? Only you can know your own family?

Toetoe: That is a good idea. I will. Just for info, I bought Amazon vouchers and sent them in a card.

Two of my grandchildren were like that during their teens but are better now they are a bit older.

Yes it's rude and must be hurtful . Manners and politeness so important. Maybe in a week or so ask what they bought with your gift .

I'm sure no one would think you are a grouch. This happens all the time to so many people sadly. I put it down to a sense of entitlement by some young people these days..... I include some of my grandchildren in this. 😒