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The sandwich generation

(29 Posts)
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Fallingstar Wed 18-Feb-26 12:21:33

I know what you are facing. Both my parents died pretty early on, sadly, and my MiL died in her fifties from cancer, but FiL lived into his early nineties, died just 3 years ago. And all the time we were helping our grown family with the GCs we were helping with my FiL who had Parkinson’s and then dementia but we tried to care for him in his own home for as long as poss.
Then just over a year ago my DH had a massive stroke in his mid seventies so am a full time carer to him.
Sometimes I feel I quite bitter about this because it was by no means how I pictured our retirement. But on the whole we have had a good life, just exhausting and exasperating at times.

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Exhausted01 Wed 18-Feb-26 12:12:37

I know life will calm down ( well I hope it will ) i just didn't imagine life to be like this x

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kittylester Wed 18-Feb-26 12:09:35

Not now as our grandchildren are bigger and my mum has died.

But definitely a few years ago. My husband also worked until he was 71 so a lot of it was down to me.

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Exhausted01 Wed 18-Feb-26 12:04:17

I don't really know where I'm going with this post. Well I do but it might be a bit of a ramble.
Does anyone else feel overwhelmed being in the middle of caring for elderly parents and grandchildren whilst also trying to enjoy their own life all while working as well ?
Hubby and I both have our Mums who are getting older
One has quite a few health problems the other just needs help shopping. Ipad problems etc . Not major issues but time consuming and frustrating.
We also have 2 grandsons who we adore and another being born in the next few weeks.
Hubby works 4 days a week . He will be cutting down another day next year.
I got made redundant but found another job where I work part time but there is overtime available.
I have always worked part time but with this job I am really enjoying being able to earn a bit of overtime money and really feel that I am contributing to all the things Hubby and I want to do before we're too old.
We are both very conscious of the fact that we don't know how much time our mums have left and also with our older grandsons especially the eldest one how long we have left of being ' cool ' before long he'll be off with his friends and not wanting to come to sleepovers etc.
No one takes advantage of us but I do feel overwhelmed with life at the moment.
When the new baby comes my daughter will need a bit of extra help although she is very independent its just going to be a change and I don't do change very well.
In the last 5 years we have both lost our Dad's. We lost a grand dog who I loved so much. Hubby has had 2 cancer scares had a wobble job wise . We nearly lost my mother in law and I got made redundant.
I feel like thats a lot to deal with.
Our Mums both don't want to be a nuisance but they need our help .
I just want to hide away somewhere for a while.

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