Big Birthday

I agree with you BlueBelle, I think this obsession with big birthdays is a more modern thing. Younger ones celebrate 30, 40, 50 as more important than we ever did.
On the day I was 40 I remember I started a part time job and I never told anyone it was my birthday. It was half way through the day when I thought Oh, I'm 40 today, getting on a bit!.
Then just got on with the day.
Thanks again for all replies, food for thought.

80 th last year
Me, one daughter two grandkids and partners had a weekend at centre parcs loved it then on the actual day a small family meal. Half my children / grandchildren live overseas but managed to get 6 of us together
No one else in the family left no siblings, no cousins, aunts uncles my 3 main friends are either older or not very well so small but perfectly formed
All birthdays are big I don’t know really why we consider the ones with a naught on the end are more important !

That sounds lovely Gin, if I had a summer birthday I would love to do that. (obviously though it could be inside and outside}
Hearing about others experiences is really helpful.

I had a significant birthday in lockdown so could not have a big celebration. However, I had the best birthday ever. We had open garden all day. Fortunately the weather was good and people came, no more than four at a time, to have drinks and posh snacks with my sons acting waiters. I saw people I haven’t seen for years and a chance to have a good old natter and catch up with them all that you cannot do in a big party. The garden looked lovely and they all enjoyed a good look round going home with presents of plants as I always grow far too many. There was little mess, the cost was not high and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

You need to do something that you will enjoy whether that is a small lunch out or a buffet party at home.
A friend planned a meal at her favourite restaurant, she asked all her guests for a £5 deposit. Most were happy to do that, a few didn't so not only missed out on a wonderful party but also a free meal in a top class restaurant, all paid for by the Birthday girl. She wanted commitment from her guests as it wasn't a cheap do and she didn't want to be forking out for people who didn't turn up.
It is so difficult these days to plan a party.
We are celebrating our 10th anniversary and DH's big birthday. We only had 4 guests at our wedding as DH was given a short life expectancy, so we didn't have the big wedding and reception.
We decided to send out pre-invitation cards to friends and relatives who live a journey away, asking them to let me know if they intend to come or not.
The replies were 3 who can't come, 5 "yes, we are looking forward to it", a couple "we don't know what we're doing" ( in other words "wont commit in case something better comes along") and 30 plus who didn't bother to reply. We had planned to book a venue with a meal followed by a local band in the evening for a party. Thankfully, we hadn't paid anything out as it was in the planning stage. We are now having a meal at home from our wonderful Chinese Takeaway, for the few who said they can come. The rest will get an invitation to a party at our house in the evening, along with our local friends.
I think it is terribly sad that people can't put a date in their diary for a special event.
Whatever you choose to fo, have a wonderful time.

Good idea Franbern about no presents . I'm sure most of us at this time of our lives have all we need or want.

My 85th in June this year. Falls on a Saturday, so I thought ideal for big family get together. However, three of my younger g.children are taking their GCSE's this year, so cannot come away from home my birthday weekend. Arranged now extended family meal (about 34 of us), two weeks after my birthday.

Seemed a shame to waste the actual day, so now have arranged an afternoon tea for about two dozen local friends at one of our local meeting places.

So TWO parties for me and I have specified NO PRESENTS.

Yes I'm liking the private room for a meal idea.
Oreo, that's correct times 2! (people nearly faint with shock when I tell them! )
Madeline I like your thinking but as I am happily single now it wouldn't work. Though I could suggest one of my family has organised something!

Rather than booking a meal, some hotels or pubs have private rooms where you can have the bar service, and appetizers brought in. It makes for better mingling with people rather than sitting at a long table not knowing well the people you are sitting beside.

Go for something easy for you OP😃
Personally I would go for a private room in a hotel that caters for 20 or more people and choose a menu with them.You can discuss flowers for the table, balloons etc.
You only have these big birthdays once! Am assuming you will be 40 😁

My last big birthday was 3 years ago . I hate being the centre of attention but luckily my DGD has her birthday on the same day as mine . So she had a birthday party for her 18th and I just tagged along . It’s her 21st in May so another party to attend with no fuss for me . Excellent !

Have you thought of a room at a Garden centre ? Hear me out!! ... I know of a couple of Garden centres that have specific rooms for smaller events.They tend to be the ones that have cafes or restaurants, they will do the catering , usually afternoon tea type fayre, so as it's a smaller number of people, and things like sandwiches and cakes, it doesn't matter too much if some people drop out as it's not a 'Sit down ' type meal.Also people can drift off to the garden centre afterwards for a look around. It's not too showy , not too catering heavy and can be done at a lunctime or afternoon.Also as it would have a set closing time, no fear of anyone outstaying their welcome if you got tired !

It is YOUR birthday, so just sit down in piece and quiet, and think if there is something you wanted to do, but havent managed it yet, or look back at something you would like to do again. Then you could say that your husband has made arrangements for you to that on the day, and arrange smaller gatherings to meet before or after. That way you do better than saying it is your choice, as no one will think he should cancel, and you dont get moaned at, for not organising a party which will cost you more effort and stress, when it should be a day for you to enjoy!! Make it your day and enjoy yourself.

Meal at home.

For my big bday, I booked a large house for a long weekend. Family stayed and then we added a few friends for the Sunday lunch. It was lovely

Wow! Very varied responses thanks so much.
Good luck Maxmyers I do hope your fears are not realised. You are right though to enjoy life as much as possible

I have a big birthday in September and have booked a massive property for 27 family members, who have all enthusiastically confirmed they are coming. I am from a small family, just me and my brother, but DH has a big very close family and we have marvellous, multi generational parties and celebrations. I feel blessed to have them in my life and delighted that my 3 AC and their partners and children enjoy the get togethers just as much as I do. Many friends have commented on how lucky we are to have such a close family.
We will cater for everyone for 1 night and eat out the rest of the time. I like cooking, tho I find it more tiring nowadays, and have a repertoire of fairly easy buffet dishes.
Other than that I will have separate celebrations with 3 groups of friends and I’ve also booked a cruise on the Norwegian fjords.
I don’t know what the future will bring, DH has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment which may or may not be the precursor to dementia. I am determined to enjoy life as much as possible whilst we can.

I had a very big birthday recently but just went away to a hotel for the night with my two daughters and out for lunch with DH on the actual day.

I have a big birthday next year and have booked an air bnb big enough for all immediate family for the weekend. There will be 17 of us and we will share catering. Hopefully it will be fun.

Book a nice meal...takes away all the faff and you can just enjoy yourself

Dont waste your money on any of them, just let it pass, no one remembers parties etc a week later

Agree.

I have a big birthday in June and as we only have a small family, DH, DS, DD, DSiL, DGS, DGD and dog we have booked a cottage by the sea for the weekend. We are within walking distance of harbour and pubs so will eat out!

I’ve got a big birthday in May I’m an only child but I’ve decided to have a party while I’m fit and healthy plus I’ve never had a birthday party ever. I’ve hired local golf club house and my invite list is 60 but we can never tell how many of the 60 will actually turn up. But I will have a lovely night with the ones that do.

For my Big birthday, I invited about 80 people …… 60 attended. I (my 3 children really ) paid for the meal and the first drink of Prosecco. I had a pleasant surprise, when my 3 children shared the costs .