Are all Scams Online

Don't part with money

Talk about adding 2+2 and making 10!
Nobody has mentioned money!
Perhaps because I am a naturally friendly person and now on my own - although deep down shy- but I regularly strike up a conversation with eg another woman on the train, sitting beside me at the theatre, at my elbow in a gallery or if we have to share a table at a coffee shop. I have met some truly interesting people that way especially where there is an interest in common, as has happened at Book Festivals.
Perhaps next time they will run when they see me coming, but I hope not! Usually the time of day or an innocuous remark about the weather/traffic/play we are there to see/the author of a book who is speaking to us ,or whatever, - I am rarely if ever “brushed off” , sometimes we get quite chatty .
I find it one of the upsides of going to things alone and hope that other women on their own are equally happy with a little social interaction.

Trust your gut instinct *FranA*. It is there for a reason, to protect you. I instinctively feel that you are right to be suspicious

Many scams take place by enticing people into friendship groups, hobby groups etc as explained to us by a representative giving a talk by Actionfraud. First they suck you in and then the scam happens

butterandjam

*It could be that she has no family in this country, is looking for a mother or grandmother figure.*

Ideally, a quiet elderly lady who lives alone in a comfy warm house and has a spare room and a healthy bank account.

Don't part with money.

And if you engage, it might be difficult to disengage later.
Also, if you are the type of person who values their privacy and their own space, it's not unkind to politely let the other person know that
I cannot however understand how OP appears to lack the social skills (and life experience); to do just that.
If swimming - ignore the other woman, turn around and swim away, don’t let yourself get cornered in the coffee shop or if all else fails enlist the help of another friend to be deep in conversation when this young woman pops up.
However I find it depressing to think that what may be innocent and kindly behaviour should be seen by so many as suspicious.
If we grow less tolerant and grumpy in old age no wonder isolation or loneliness can be such a common issue.

FranA
Of course scams happen off line.
I’m sure you have seen this case.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c87ngrw3jnwo

In the gym a lot wear earphones/buds so conversation isn't possible

kittylester

Why so suspicious? Most people are nice.

That's true, they are. But some are not - and it's quite natural to be wary because you don't know which way they are going to turn out.

And if you engage, it might be difficult to disengage later.

Also, if you are the type of person who values their privacy and their own space, it's not unkind to politely let the other person know that.

Sessions in the gym and the pool are very often where participants are focusing on their workouts and they don't want to socialise.

MawsRosie

Out of interest, what is a jaquisi ?

Emil Zola messing about in the jacuzzi.

MawsRosie

Since when has «starting a conversation» equated to pestering someone out of the water.
A simple «Can’t chat now got to get my lengths in» then pull the swimming cap over the ears and off.
As I said, it might be irritating but not necessarily malign

Right here. After the initial class; OP said

"She was very pushy wanting to join me in everything I did. I politely declined to have her follow me into my other activities. That was quite hard to do as she was very pushy wanting to join me for coffee or anything else I was doing."

Then 6 months later, while OP was swimming lengths for
ONE HOUR, same young lady repeatedly importunes distracts and interrupts OPs swim.

"started swimming in the lane next to me and trying to start up a conversation or match my strokes. And waiting at the lane end and trying to start a conversation. "

Interrupting someone who is obviously on a time and distance multiple lengths swim is a big no no. .

Out of interest, what is a jaquisi ?

I would certainly be disconcerted by persistent attention of a young man, however I have been on group holidays with a wide variety of ages and if there is common interest it's not a problem.
We can only speculate on this woman's intentions it's most likely common interest, in many sports clubs there is a wide range of ages most of the young are active participants, older members are organizers and spectators.

butterandjam

*It could be that she has no family in this country, is looking for a mother or grandmother figure.*

Ideally, a quiet elderly lady who lives alone in a comfy warm house and has a spare room and a healthy bank account.

Just what I was thinking.

I am suspicious of her motives. Mainly because she wouldn’t take no for an answer the first time I came across her. It almost got to the point where I was going to have to be quite rude to her. I know lots of women my age in the gym so I can just ask around to see if anyone else has add any dealings with her. She certainly couldn’t have recognised me from earlier as my hair has changed from long and blond to short and grey. Thanks for all your observations.

OP - given the title you’ve given this thread do you actually think she is planning a scam of some kind?

Since when has «starting a conversation» equated to pestering someone out of the water.
A simple «Can’t chat now got to get my lengths in» then pull the swimming cap over the ears and off.
As I said, it might be irritating but not necessarily malign

kittylester

Why so suspicious? Most people are nice.

Because I actually read the OP's first post.

This woman is not "nice".She's repeatedly pestered OP out of the water.

Today

"The same young lady started swimming in the lane next to me and trying to start up a conversation or match my strokes. And waiting at the lane end and trying to start a conversation. "
Those are all highly abnormal behaviours in a swimming pool where someone is obviously doing multiple lengths

Well said kittyl and graphite

Why so suspicious? Most people are nice.

That's unkind and jumping to conclusions.

It could be that she has no family in this country, is looking for a mother or grandmother figure.

Ideally, a quiet elderly lady who lives alone in a comfy warm house and has a spare room and a healthy bank account.

After an inheritance ? Joke 🤣🤣

You also said you know nothing of her so you are jumping to conclusions about her motives.

Have you thought it could be something else entirely? Maybe she works in care (many young migrants do), encounters lonely older people in her day job and sees it as her mission to talk to older people who are alone at the gym. You said “she pushes herself onto the oldest female” so, by the sounds of it, she’s not only talking to you.

Why not engage her in a conversation just the once and find out a bit more. It could be that she has no family in this country, is looking for a mother or grandmother figure.

There could be any number of reasons why she wants to talk to you. Fair enough, you want to do your workouts without interruption but it doesn’t hurt to be civil - but also be firm if, having spoken to her, you feel she is wanting some social connection that you are unwilling to give.

I don’t see the connection between OP and the thread title.
Perhaps she was just being friendly, having recognised you from before - you can’t have changed THAT much! Perhaps an older face is more approachable to somebody who is shy.
You were friendly to her before and she sees you as a familiar face.
Irritating certainly but I’m sure you are perfectly capable of giving her the (polite) brush-off.
Avoid the sauna or jacuzzi if that is where people chat and tell her (if you must) that you can’t hear anything without your hearing aids and you don’t wear them in the pool for obvious reasons.
Why are people so suspicious?

FranA

What I find strange is that she is a young attractive female in her 20s. There are lots of people around in her age group or in their 40s/50s. She seems to push herself onto the oldest female. I just have an unsettling gut instinct. If I do come across her again I will just ask her what she has been doing in the intervening six months since I last saw her.

You can bet you're not the only older person alone at the gym, who's been pestered by her.

Don't ask her anything .If she approaches you again just do not engage at all.

Speak to the gym staff , point her out and say that woman has been repeatedly harassing you and they need to put a stop to it. Because other older gym members may be targeted by her.

Not sure I'd ask her anything if you really don't want to engage with her. Especially if she isn't picking up that you don't want to talk.