Quik question (daughter w new baby)

So hard on parents TG. I never ever wanted our children in our bed, can't imagine anything worse! Like you our children were in their own rooms very early on . I went into their room to feed during the night and always has a flask of tea waiting for me. The room was dimly lit and I remember enjoying that closeness with my baby.
Will be shot down in flames I know that but a healthy sleep habit for a baby begins at birth !! I very rarely had to bring them downstairs in the evening, although it did happen occasionally!
We had 3 hapoy contented babies . As they grew older the routine changed of course - but a routine there was. Bath, tether clean, toilet. Followed by story , bedtime cuddle , night light on then a quick " night night see you in the morning " followed by a quick exit. It worked for me.

OP have a read of MN for what not to do or say.
Worth it to maintain good relations.
Re the sleeping. Has she tried a side sleeper attached to her side of the bed.
What about a sling ?
I think co sleeping isn't worth the risk.

RN from America- the incidence of SIDS plummeted in societies that implemented "Back to Sleep"; baby put down to sleep on his/her back, on a firm mattress, without stuffies or blankies. Tell your dear dtr that getting baby to sleep requires a lot of experimentation- and some babies (like our 3rd grandchild) are a huge challenge- although she "sleep trained" (a new thing) thereafter amazingly well. "The things that make you cry will one day make you laugh." ...And I treasured those times when I rocked Grands to sleep! ...Btw, I and all my siblings, and our many children, were placed on our tummies. But- as with seatbelts- we were lucky. ...May God bless you all at this wonderful season of life!

ginnycomelately , how right you are!
Starting a bedtime routine early is the answer. Parents rocking babies to sleep are asking for trouble ! A good sleep habit started early will extend into childhood. When our children were small I gave them my all during the day but bedtime was bedtime ! and my time.
I am sad knowing that many parents are experiencing such much trouble getting their children to sleep - cant imagine how they cope and go out to work too.

I'm the opposite - we didn't have any of our 3 in bed with us, in fact they were in their own rooms by about one month old (short corridor and doors wide open). This was the 1980s - and they all slept on their tummies, which I know would horrifying today's young mums. It's completely different with my grandchildren, the family are fans of co-sleeping, but the oldest is now 8 and still spends half the night in with mum and dad 😕

I had a soft topped carry cot and put baby in it at top of bed and we slept below... we are both short adults. Later I made up a three sided cot that was on same level as bed. Nowadays I see they sell these special cots for alongside a bed.

For me it was clean nappy, good feed , wind the baby!!!!! Then straight into crib or cot and I never hovered round. Never had them in our bed either. I never rocked them to sleep . I was lucky 3 children all good sleepers- most of the time. My babies all had a bed time (although sometimes I had to bring them down . ) The bedtime feed was in the bedroom, curtains closed before feed. No noise , just peace and quiet . A intimate and gentle time. When our youngest was born her siblings were 7 &9 , Dad on duty for them . They were under strict instructions not to disturb me ! I was out of bounds till bedtime feed was over . I was fortunate my DH was around - had I been single it would have been much harder. Old fashioned I know but I am great believer in trying to encourage baby to sleep without too much fuss. Doesn't always work I know that ! However IMO it is well worth trying.

I think at that age mine slept on me a lot during the day. I used a sling, so would walk a lot. At night I’d make sure I was touching her if she was unsettled, but generally she was OK sleep wise. If she’s putting baby into a Moses basket, might be worth making sure it’s warm and as someone else suggested, something that smells of mum. I stuck a small cuddly down my top for a while to let her have. Co-sleeping came after the four month sleep regression and I used the then WHO’s guidelines for safety - tbh if baby so much as moved I was awake. The hospital had wanted to show me how to co-sleep safely before discharge but I turned them down as I was adamant that I wasn’t co-sleeping at that point. Baby had other ideas!

But I do think at three weeks old, baby needs contact with mum as much as possible when sleeping.

Lathyrus3, I can understand, you can't hear them

I think it's all trial and error, in my day advice was to put babies on their front, that's long since been reversed. Meeting up with step granddaughter recently her baby was 5 months old at the time, she had this vibrating contraption attached to the pram which gave it a gentle rocking motion, obviously only ideal for shorter naps not overnight, but it did send baby off for several 2 hour or so at a time.

I remember putting the DCs in their pram and walking round the block to get them to sleep. It sometimes felt like sleepwalking I was so tired. Once they were off, I would come back into the house and leave them to sleep on in the pram if it was day or to very gently try and move them into their cot if it was late. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

I kept my offspring in a pram beside my bed. Any problem, I could attend to. When older, sleep deprived, they would come into my bed as and when needed. My grandparents had their twins in their bed in the 1920s and both grew into strapping men. They were bottle fed in 1925 as my grandmother could not manage to breast feed both. I get fed up listening to all this modern precious stuff. My friend told me I should let my child scream itself to sleep, that was the last thing I would do. Offspring grew into a wonderful human being. No damage done.

Sixty years ago sleeping on the tummy was advised for colicky babies. How times change!

I remember how horrified I was with my first baby when my MIL wanted to lie her down on her back as I had visivent mattresses and always put her on her tummy. Am now horrified that I didn’t listen to her…

at the far end of the garden in a pram with net over it - under a tree - regardless of weather - works a charm. My own mother remembers pushing the snow off my sister's pram!!

I used to put one of them in a room with the hoover on. No idea why that worked😬

People used to put them in the pram down the end of the garden too.

I don't give advice unless asked for it even though I'm itching to sometimes, its a nono in my opinion, they will do it their way regardless and you are just seen as interfering,better to be stum

Ime babies fall asleep when they are fed and properly winded, there's no short cuts so be prepared to take the time to do it properly. Small babies will wake if they are hungry or uncomfortable in some way. Co sleeping is not recommended but having in the same bedroom for the first 6 months is. I always had mine in an adjacent bedroom and got out of bed to feed so OH could sleep . Babies now sleep on their back in little sleep suits with arms but no legs, quite different to when I had my children.

When I was suffering from lack of sleep when my first baby was born my doctor said when baby falls asleep go to bed yourself but don’t just fall into bed, take your clothes off as if you’re really going to bed. Not sure if I ever took his advice but it did make sense.

Cossy

Many congrats xx I was “told off” too by my darling step-daughter, when her 6 month old would never sleep or settle.

I suggested she try the “shut the door and walk away” method! I never ever offered advice again

Your little lovie is very little and your DD does need to try and sleep when he does and, as we all know, eventually they settle.

Cossy - thank you for that. That's a good example of an old trick that no one these days will do - but the doctors used to advise thusly! ❤️

I've learned not to offer advice unless specifically asked. It would seem that all the rules and regulations have changed and things that were tried, tested and worked for my 40 odd years ago are now big No-Nos.

The secret to get any babies or toddlers in fact to sleep , are no rocking , nursing , or feeding to sleep, sadly you have to gradually teach them to fall asleep , without , any of the above, it really does work , just a gradual process , amazing , because if you do any of the above , they wake pretty quickly and need rocking nursing or feeding to sleep , again the process must be where you want them to sleep , not the sofa , on your lap , or in your bed , the earlier you do it the easier it is , .In my experience , parents become so sleep deprived they will do all of the above , to create good sleep for all ,

I never shared a bed with any of mine 40 odd years ago. The Health Visitor advised against it and I could see the logic of that. However when baby goes to sleep in the safety of their crib it is a good idea to have a sleep yourself. A lot of mums back then used to drive around in their car with baby and cot strapped in until baby fell asleep - I think they still do. Dd had lots of problems getting gd to go to sleep especially at night and paid for a sleep consultant as she was up at least 14 times a night. The advice was to put baby down and if they cried not to go to them straight away but to wait 10 minutes. Then if still crying go in but only stay a few minutes. It seemed to work.

Many congrats xx I was “told off” too by my darling step-daughter, when her 6 month old would never sleep or settle.

I suggested she try the “shut the door and walk away” method! I never ever offered advice again

Your little lovie is very little and your DD does need to try and sleep when he does and, as we all know, eventually they settle.

Number one rule of grandparenting - NEVER EVER say "well, I didn't do it like that"