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Engagement Party and then Hen Party

(71 Posts)
NanKate Sun 16-Aug-26 08:46:21

I got engaged in 1969 and married in 1971. I never had an engagement party (my parents didn’t approve of my choice, we have now been happily married for almost 55 years). Nor did I have a Hen Party. Lack of finances was one reason.

Nowadays things are very different.

What about you ?

ViceVersa Sun 16-Aug-26 15:53:20

I didn't have an engagement party and as for a hen do, I just went out for a meal with my two bridesmaids. My daughter didn't have either, as she had a 'secret' wedding abroad, attended only by her father and I. They did have a 'reception' for family and friends at home later, but it was a small, friendly affair at a local social club.

Gingster Sun 16-Aug-26 15:54:05

Engagement part in mum and dad’s house with family and friends. 1968

An evening in the pub in London with all my girl friends .Hen do . Drinks and dancing the night away.
Dh was in a pub round the corner with all his mates. Stag do.

A fairly big wedding (for those days) in a hall with sit down meal and reception. 1971
No honeymoon. Couldn’t afford one as we’d bought our own little two up and two down cottage. We were 20 and 21.
So very young!. Been together since we were 16.

Mischief13 Sun 16-Aug-26 15:58:04

I didn't have an engagement party but got a very nice ring. I had my hen party at FuFus palace in Manchester and my husband had his stag do at Tiffanys.Engaged for 12 months and then quite a big wedding. No baby showers.

TwiceAsNice Sun 16-Aug-26 16:56:32

Didn’t have an engagement party we were both in training for our jobs and couldn’t afford one.

My “hen party” was a meal in a local pub for me and some friends. One girl got drunk enough to pick flowers for me from someone’s garden on the way home. I wasn’t as drunk as her but not sober enough to not accept them/tell her off

JamesandJon33 Sun 16-Aug-26 17:12:41

No engagement party and hen parties were unheard of. Both would have been seen by my parents as a waste of money.

Casdon Sun 16-Aug-26 17:47:37

My parents got engaged in 1950s, and they had an engagement party, so I don’t think it’s a new thing, it’s just something that some people did and do, and some don’t, I think.

Hen dos were a lot more muted until about twenty years ago, when they morphed from being a night out to a weekend.
The first weekend do I went to was for one of my nieces in 2011, and we had such a good time that all the females in the family now have a weekend away together every year, we call it the No Hen, and we love them - this year we are going to Evesham, we’ve been all over the place, as we are dispersed through the UK, and it’s the only time all year that we’re all together.

henetha Sun 16-Aug-26 17:49:55

I don't think hen do's or parties had been invented back in the 1950's when I got engaged, - no party then either.
We had 5 guests at our wedding and reception was coffee and biscuits on a train..
Even for those days it was all a bit Spartan.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 16-Aug-26 18:37:14

No engagement party.

Two Hen do’s one in a famous night club in London and another in a local night club.

Romola Sun 16-Aug-26 19:07:02

1965 and when we got engaged, my parents invited his parents to stay for the weekend. A bit awkward but champagne helped. No engagement party as I was off to Munich for three months, part of my university course.
The night before our wedding, groom and best man spent with lovely neighbours. Best man a lifelong friend, the last smile I saw on DH's face as he lay dying was a WhatsApp message from him.

Scribbles Sun 16-Aug-26 19:28:54

No parties or hen/stag nights for us. We were pretty hard up and would have seen it as a total waste of money and, as well, I really dislike the whole circus surrounding weddings snd wanted everything as low key as possible. I think I succeeded - the wedding was informal and fun, shared with half a dozen special friends and remains one of the happiest days of my life. If I were ever to marry again, I'd want to do it the same way.

kittylester Sun 16-Aug-26 22:17:20

I've just remembered that my parents took Dh, his parents and me out for lunch at the best restaurant in the area as soon as we got engaged.

fiorentina51 Mon 17-Aug-26 07:45:08

No engagement or hen party. I didn't have an 18th birthday or 21st birthday party either.
In fact, I've never had a birthday party or cake apart from my 60th which I made myself.
It just wasn't a thing in my family.
As a small child, I was a bit miffed about it but to be honest, non of my friends had a big fuss made about their birthdays either.
Probably because we lived in a rather poor area of Birmingham at the time.
I wasn't neglected. I had cards and presents and was made to feel special on the day, so that was fine for me.
It probably explains why I didn't want any engagement or hen party. Husband to be and I went out for a nice meal instead.

luluaugust Mon 17-Aug-26 07:49:36

No engagement party I think my dad opened a bottle of sherry and I showed off my very inexpensive ring. DH had a drink with the best man. This was 1967

Usedtobeblonde Mon 17-Aug-26 09:47:04

I got engaged in 1957, we just went to a jewellers in Nottingham and chose a ring together, I think it cost £25.
That was it,we were 21 and 19.
Married in 1958, mother organised the whole thing to her satisfaction, no-one else’s ideas welcome thank you.

shysal Mon 17-Aug-26 09:53:54

No engagement party, hen or stag nights. Also no evening party after the wedding reception.
We wanted a small wedding but my snobbish mother insisted on inviting family members I hadn't even met! My father said he wished I would elope!

Sarnia Mon 17-Aug-26 10:30:36

No engagement party and no hen do. If I had known then what I know now I would have been busy digging an escape tunnel.

Grandma70s Mon 17-Aug-26 10:51:16

I think I’d vaguely of stag and hen parties when I got married in 1968, but I didn’t know anybody who had them. We certainly didn’t. No engagement party either, as we were never engaged. We just got married. Only invited immediate family and offended several people!

Soon after we were married my husband bought me a beautiful ring in addition to my wedding ring.

Elusivebutterfly Mon 17-Aug-26 11:05:32

I had an engagement party, as did other friends of mine. I do not think anyone had big, fancy parties like they do now - mine was at my parents' house.
My DH had a stag do in a local pub with friends the night before the wedding. I had never heard of anyone having a hen do back then. Nobody had the fancy stag and hen dos with expensive weekends away that they have now, nor did they have baby showers.

RobertaDanversWalker Mon 17-Aug-26 13:45:54

I got married in 1996, aged 44. No hen party, no stag do for him, no engagement party. Registry office with four people and then a lovely lunch with them, and then we went off for a night at a very posh hotel. Can't be bothered with all the faffing that goes on these days.

Estrellita Mon 17-Aug-26 13:59:45

Same here. Engaged in 1970. Married in 1971. Married for 55 years.
No engagement or hen party.

Quizzer Mon 17-Aug-26 14:00:04

Engaged in 1970 - I didn’t even know engagement parties existed.
Yes, I did have a hen party. My girlfriends and I (definitely no older generation) went to our favourite pub and had a few drinks.
Too many brides plan so much before the wedding and spend so much as well. They seem to have lost sight of what the wedding itself means.

53up Mon 17-Aug-26 15:14:42

It was always referred to as a ‘spinster night’ down our neck of the woods. Sisters and friends went on a pub crawl for mine (1975)

jocork Mon 17-Aug-26 15:27:18

No engagement party or hen party for me. My ex did have a stag but it wasn't a huge jolly to Ibiza as seems to be the way of things these days. It was a few friends for drinks down the pub and I seem to remeber he suffered afterwards as he wasn't used to getting drunk!
My DiL had a hen do and it was lovely Her mum and I were invited, along with lots of her friends for a weekend at her chief bridesmaid's family home. Her dad was a vicar so she arranged use of the church hall for the youngsters to sleep on airbeds while DiL's mum and I stayed in the vicarage! We played daft games, made bunting for the wedding and went out for a meal at a local restaurant. Agsin no excessive spending on a foreign trip, just a fun time getting to know her friends.

WithNobsOnIt Mon 17-Aug-26 15:34:41

People can do what they want as far as l am concerned. But l think a lot of parties these days can be about anything really.

And the need to impress and brag.
Don't sene to able to think for themselves. Sheep like, very impressionable Follow the leader

Plus they are very influenced by American ideas on what and how to celebrate. Usually based around making money.

Retired65 Mon 17-Aug-26 15:50:15

I didn't have an engagement party or hen night, although I did take some sparkling wine into work for everyone to share.