Last Days to say Goodbye

Listen to her NannaComic

Hold her hand, listen to her if she wants to speak, speak to her perhaps of happier times, just be there

Nannacomic dont ignore the situation, tell her that you have valued her friendship and then chat about your lives together.Life is rubbish sometimes.

She's a dear friend so just be yourself. Sorry for your sad time.

I've been in this situation. Just allow her to do the talking. As Annie said 'listen to her' and you will know what to do or say.

So sad for you both.

Best wishes to you. A sad situation but, as others have said, take your lead from her.

I am so sorry for your friend, and for you. I agree with others; take your lead from her and let the conversation find its own course. I have been in your situation twice and I really feel for you. .

Happened to us a few months ago. I was very anxious but in the event the visit to our friend was little different to any other visit, other than he needed to change his sedating/lying position frequently because of pain. Our friend talked easily about his situation, conversation moved to things he was interested in, we laughed about silly things as usual, saying goodbye was the hardest as we guessed we wouldn't see him again. As others have said, take your lead from your friend, be yourself, she will gain much from your presence.

Good advice above . Unless your friend wants to talk about his/her illness, best to enjoy recalling happy times spent together.

She may like to talk, or if she gets breathless, may prefer to listen. You could update her on your family etc, maybe take some photos to share, of your family or of her and you if you have any, which may bring back memories and laughter. Silence can be ok, she may tire easily, and enjoy just having you be there, holding hands or with a hand on her arm, or she might enjoy a hand massage, or having her finger/toe nails cut, which carers don't always have time for.

Depending on what she has wrong with her, please don't be surprised if she doesn't like to be touched. My dad's skin was very sensitive at the end and I couldn't even hold his hand as he pulled it away because it hurt him.

Also, don't be afraid to cry. It is not weak and a tear or two between you will be a sign of how close you are. Take her lead. My last words to my dad was about a joke he told over and over again so he was still glinting in his eyes, very special.

I also had a good friend die this year too, and the last time I saw him I didn't know it would be the last, even though we knew he was dying. (I thought I would visit one last time but it didn't happen as he was too ill then). We sat out in the garden, he was telling jokes, as he had done all the time I knew him, and then he went off for a lie down. On going he waved and said "see you" , "yes, I said, see you later" and they were my last words to him. I did say my piece to him while in the garden though, that he was one of the best and he had been a great friend to me and my children. (He dressed up as Father Christmas when my son was little and scared him on Christmas Eve as my son told him that he hadn't wrapped his sister's present up yet!) He was a true gent, but I hope he knew that all the time we were friends, not just at the end of his life.

This year has been an annus horribilis (although that wasn't my first description of it!).

for you. X

Ladies - thank you so so so much for your valuable advice and guidance. It has helped me so much. Thank you xx